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The Mysteries of 2017: A Recap

As 2018 begins, leaving 2017 in the dust, we here at 4E want to make sure you remember all the mysteries past. Don’t forget all the unsolved questions that made 2017 so special!

1. Is Kylie pregnant?

2. Did The Wisey’s Rat™ successfully make its escape from Georgetown? Are it and its four children ~thriving~ ?

3. Does Royal Jacket serve breakfast for a meal swipe? Or is this one just a me problem?

4. Will anyone ever find a quick way to the new Uncommon Grounds (preferably no stairs)?

5. How many more devastating losses will Georgetown men’s basketball have this season?

6. What happened to the @hoyas_eatin_naners account?

7.  How much longer will “Mr. Brightside” be THE Georgetown party song?

8. What new meal will Remy, the Leo’s mascot, cook for us next?

9. Will Bulldog Tavern ever become efficient?

We here at 4E sincerely hope that some of these mysteries will be solved in 2018. See you never @2017!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, attitudemag.com

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4E’s Spring 2017 Blog Babies

Every semester, we at The Fourth Edition decide to open our doors to the few whom we think are pretty hilarious. This semester, we took five new, spectacular human beings out of a competitive applicant pool. We can’t wait to see what they accomplish!

Top 3 Moments on Season 21 of The Bachelor

1. When Corinne, age 24, casually discloses that she has a nanny. #FreeRaquel2k17

2. When Alexis (dolphin/shark) jumps into the pool and starts making what I presume are dolphin mating sounds to call out for Nick.

3. When Josephine forces Nick to “lady and tramp” an uncooked hot dog with her.

Top  3 Ways to Get Lost in the ICC

1. You took the stairs. Never take the stairs.

                  2.  You went to office hours. The offices seem to always be full of people and yet does anyone really know where they are?
                  3.  You went to the bathroom. If the stairs are from Hogwarts, the ICC bathrooms are practically closets to Narnia.

 


Top 3 Georgetown Pet Peeves

1. Facilities request.

2. When someone ignores your Venmo request.

3. Dominos closes at 2 AM????

 

 

 

 

Top 5 TV Show Episodes that Make a Bad Day Better

1. The Office, “Stress Relief”

2. Parks and Recreation, “Li’l Sebastian”

3. 30 Rock, “Queen of Jordan”

 

 

 

Top 3 Things Every Georgetown Student Can Agree On

1. The Leo’s coffee may be a crummy necessity in maintaining our caffeine addictions, but their banana bread is a delicious gift from heaven.

2. Jack DeGioia is low-key a baller. He owns his rescinding hair line and classy tie collection.

3. We look at the people on tours to see by chance if we know someone, even though we would never actually want to see some random from high school.

Photos/gifs: blog.thehoya.com, facebook.com

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4E’s Guide on How NOT to Repeat 2016

20162016 was one for the books…well a book we’d like to close, throw in the fire and watch burn. Yeah, 2016 may not have been the best but luckily, with the New Year, 4E is looking at the glass half full. We may have lost Harambe, our Democratic credibility as a nation and as of late, our beloved Princess Leia, but it’s time we put all of that in the past and concentrate on a better future. So, 4E has put together a quick guide on how to make 2017 a great year…and make sure 2016 will never be repeated.

Avoid anything having to do with the Kardashians.
Yes, I understand that the cover photo of this article stars Kim K, but can we just take a minute to discuss why the Kardashians should remain in 2016. Kim K was tied up by robbers in Paris, Kanye had a mental breakdown and then, met with President-elect Trump (I had so many questions but no answers) and Kylie’s lips only got bigger. Don’t even get me started on Blac Chyna and Rob. The Kardashian curse is a thing for a reason people!

The answer is no.
The answer is no.

Become more skeptical.
I am specifically addressing the recent hype and quick disappoint of the iPhone 7 release. I know Apple is always trying to be ahead of the curve, but Steve Jobs has to be rolling in his grave. Where did my headphone jack go and more importantly, where are these “AirPods” you have been promising? Apple, we were not and are still not ready for this, so with that, 4E advises you to become more skeptical when it comes to hype.

Spend less time on social media.
2016 seemed to be the biggest year for social media yet! While we may have stepped up our meme game, we also spent wayyyyy too much time scrolling through our Snapchats, Instas, Facebooks and Twitters. The whole thing can get quite exhausting. I also can’t handle one more Harambe post, it just hits too close to the heart.

Stop dabbing.
This 2016 ritual should stay in 2016. I’m not usually superstitious, but I believe that the whole dabbing thing brings some bad mojo. So, please…let’s just not.

While this past year has been getting many negative reviews, it is important that we remember all of the wonderful things 2016 has given us. 2016 gave us more Netflix hits (Stranger Things!), more memes and more Pokémon. But let’s be real, we are so happy it’s over!
Happy 2017 Hoyas!

Images: giphy.com, buzzfeed.com