Homecoming: A Guide to Pregaming

Listen up, Hoyas!  Homecoming is incoming, and we all need to be prepared for the big day.  Before you can hit the Vil A rooftop with your crew, decked out in full Georgetown apparel, it is essential to pregame the day ahead.

With the limited resources of a college student, we at the 4E want to use our platform for good and help (21+) Hoyas ball on a budget.

Note:  The Hoya does not endorse underage drinking!

The Supplies:

Dust off that week-old, half-drunk Natty in your fridge! Homecoming is a marathon, not a sprint, so it’s essential to gather your supplies and spread out your drinks throughout the day.

The ~goods~ should be acquired before the big day, so stock up on the essential Burnett’s and Svedka flavors.  It’s always wise to have basic flavors that will blend well with a variety of mixers. Try crowd favorites citrus, raspberry or even flavorless, if you’re feeling ~saucy~.

Mixers are another story.  We all know how hard it is to fit non-alcoholic juice in the minifridges, so take advantage of the vending machines found in every dorm building. 

The vending machines are convenient, especially if you need to restock, and they carry a wide variety of single-serve sizes that are sure to please even the pickiest drinker.

Protip Instead of spending cash on vending machine drinks, head to downstairs Leo’s with a reusable water bottle and stock up using a meal swipe!

Once the ingredients are in place, and your friends are ready to party, it’s time to begin the festivities. 

The Drinks:

The hype is always over the best wine and food pairings, but what about liquor and mixers?  I scoped out the vending machines earlier, and here are some pairings that are sure to be a success!

Sprite and Citrus Vodka: Why fix what isn’t broken?  This pairing is a staple at pregames and frat parties alike.

Blue Powerade and Malibu:  The fruity notes of the Powerade match well with the iconic coconut rum.  Perfect for recovering your electrolytes!

Lemonade and Mango Vodka:  A twist on a classic summery lemonade.  A great choice for those in denial that it’s fall.

Water and Water:  Be sure to stay hydrated!

The Fun:

With the drinks flowing and the music blaring — be sure to make a playlist of your favorite songs ahead of time! — it’s clear that your homecoming pregame is a success.  Then it’s time to venture to Vil A for the epic views and the sweaty hordes of freshmen.

And when homecoming was over, we learned that it isn’t about the drinks we had — it’s about the friends we made along the way. <3 Stay safe out there, Hoyas!

What Your Go-To Trader Joe’s Snack Says About You

It’s finally that time of year — midterm season is upon us. Procrastination on Lau 2 and constant mindless snacking are to be expected for the foreseeable future. Seeing as the new Trader Joe’s on Wisconsin has opened and has been my only place of solace lately, I’m here to provide a break from studying and tell you what your go-to Trader Joe’s snacks say about you.

#1 — Joe Joe’s

You’re up for anything. Just like Joe Joe’s — which come in a variety of flavors from pumpkin to candy cane — you go with the flow and know what it means to have fun. You can’t go wrong with Joe Joe’s, and people who gravitate toward this snack are always here to have a good time.

#2 — Herbs & Spices Popcorn

If Herbs & Spices Popcorn is your go-to snack, you are the embodiment of ~sophistication~. Herbs & Spices popcorn takes a classic snack to a whole new level. You are original and savvy, and you have a good dose of common sense.

#3 — Everything but the Bagel Seasoning

You are lovable and vibe with everyone. Just like Everything but the Bagel, you have the solutions to all problems in life. You make everything great, and no one ever gets tired of you. 

#4 — Peanut Butter Cups

Trader Joe’s Peanut butter cup fans are the perfect balance of sweetness and practicality. As a friend, you are consistent and super reliable. You understand the salty and sweet in life, and you know how to be there for everyone. 

#5 — Speculoos Cookie Butter

Outgoing. Bold. If Cookie Butter is your go-to snack, you know how to make a statement. You are a ~dream come true~, and you aren’t afraid to be yourself. Before people meet you, they don’t know what they’re missing. 

The First Month of School in Various Haikus

Howdy, Hoyas. It’s 4E staff writer #3476 BACK with some ~crazy~ content.

Whoa! That was weird. Anywho, October is here (ahhhhhhhhh). Well, being a month into school, we’ve decided it’s a nice time to pause and reflect and really use some of our ~Jesuit~ values to assess how far we’ve come and how far we have to go.

But recaps can be sOoOoOOoooo boring! So, instead, we’re gonna go through the last month in the form of ~haikus~ to really drive at the raw emotions of all the feels we’ve felt.

BONUS NSO WEEK of 8/18 (dabdabdabdabdab ~I was an OA~ dab) 

Friends, new and old, come.

“Look at all these crazy kids!”

It’s a homecoming.

Aww so sweet! It can only get better (lol).

Week of 8/25

Mom, there’s no more carts.

Buying books is for Monday.

Need withdrawal slips.

RateMyProfessor hits different when you’re taking 18 credits and you’re pre-med.

Week of 9/1

Three days to ponder,

If my labor is worth it.

A Blueprint Meeting.

Get [clap emoji] that [clap emoji] org [clap emoji] DBC [clap emoji] sis [clap emoji] 

Week of 9/8

CAB Fair reflections.

Applying like a madman.

Ice cream for rejects.

Treat! Yo! Self! (Comment your fav Ben & Jerry’s flavor and how many emails you got from clubs you’ll never go to below.)

Week of 9/15

A

Already papers,

Where have all my friends gone to?

Spiraling in Lau.

Hahahahahahahahahaha nerVouS

B(onus)

The Climate Forum!

Marianne Williamson?

I can’t get to class…

Week of 9/22

First-round interviews.

I want to see my mom now.

Initiation?

~wholesome vibes only~

Week of 9/29

Fifteen hundred words.

Midterm szn already.

When is homecoming?

~un-wholesome but promoting responsible self-care vibes only~

Welp, that’s it.

That’s all I got for now. We hope you got a little love from these poetic nuggets. And, more, we hope you’re just as happy as we are to be back in the *gRoOvE* of the Hilltop.

*NOTE: “gRoOvE” does not mean you have it all together, because you don’t have to!!

Meet the Mr. Georgetown Candidates—Fall 2019 Edition

As you notice fellow Hoyas procuring blue face paint along with OJ and champagne, you’ll know what’s soon to come: Homecoming Weekend. Along with the many darties, the visiting alumni and the memories you’re bound to forget, there’s one thing that we should all hope to remember and cherish: Georgetown Program Boards’s annual Mr. Georgetown!

We sat down with nine of the many glamorous candidates to give you all a sneak-peak to Mr. Georgetown 2019!

Ben Ulrich- Pep Band

Hometown: Carlisle, PA

School: SFS

Major: Science, Technology, and International Affairs (STIA)

What do you love about Pep Band?

I love how much energy we bring to all the games and performances. It doesn’t matter how far down we are. We’re always ready to give the team a good show.

What is your most beautiful feature?

I have great calves.

If you had to choose a song to describe how your semester is going so far, which song would you choose?

Probably “Superposition” by Young the Giant, because I always feel like I’m in two places at once.

Kevin Berning- GU Grilling Society

Hometown: Aiken, SC

School: COL

Major: Philosophy

What do you love about the Grilling Society?

The burgers.

What is your most beautiful feature?

Oh jeez. I don’t know, I’ve been told I got some rocking legs.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alumnus?

Nick Kroll. I like him. He’s fun.

Norman Francis- GUSA

Hometown: Roswell, GA

School: COL

Major: Government and African American Studies

What do you love about GUSA?

It has the potential for good and allows students to create structural change within our institution. It also serves as a bridge for students and the administration.

If you had to choose a song to describe how your semester is going so far, which song would you choose?

“Song of Solomon” by Radkey, because they just talk about dropping out of school.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alumnus?

One of my favorites is Dr. Robert J. Patterson. He was very helpful during my first few years at Georgetown.

Harrison Hurt- The Hoya

Hometown: New York City, NY

School: SFS

Major: International Political Economy

What do you love about The Hoya?

We get the chance to work on really cool stories and lift voices that are otherwise not heard.

If you had to choose a song to describe how your semester is going so far, which song would you choose?

“Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus, because we really just came in and wrecked it… like a wrecking ball.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alumnus?

I have to say Bradley Cooper. He’s such a sweetheart. John Mulaney is a close runner up.

Noah Telerski- The Voice

Hometown: Nashua, NH

School: COL

Major: Government

What do you love about The Voice?

I think it’s a really cool opportunity for people interested in writing to practice what they do and have an outlet to express themselves, while being able to do cool reporting in journalism and write about what’s happening on campus.

What is your go-to Epi meal?

Pepperoni pizza. It’s really bad, but I get it all the time, because it’s the cheapest meal option.

What is your most beautiful feature?

People tell me I have really nice hair. When I was in high school, I won the superlative for “best hair.”

Gabe Berkowitz- Mask and Bauble

Hometown: Irvington, NY

School: SFS

Major: Science, Technology, and International Affairs

What is your favorite thing about Mask and Bauble?

I love the people who are involved. All my friends are in Mask and Bauble.

What is your most beautiful feature?

I’ve been told it’s my eyelashes.

What is your go-to Epi meal?

The grilled cheeses. They’re cheaper than the quesadilla, and they don’t charge you for extra cheese.

Ethan Knecht- Dance Company

Hometown: Metuchen, NJ

School: SFS

Major: International Politics

What do you love about Dance Company?

I love being able to come to the studio every week with amazing people who I love spending time with.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My smile. Maybe my butt?

What is your go-to Epi meal?

Easily the quesadilla, with spinach and onion!

Zach Gallin- Running Club

Hometown: Irvington, NY

School: SFS

Major: Science, Technology, and International Affairs

What do you love most about the Running Club?

We have no cuts. Anyone can join, and there is no application.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My legs. I’m a runner.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alumnus?

I like Bradley Cooper.

Forrest Gertin- SFS Academic Council

Hometown: Rochester, NY

School: SFS

Major: International Political Economy

What is your favorite thing about the SFS Academic Council?

I like our advocacy role. We make changes that actually affect the student body. For example, SFS students can have minors now, we have the new furniture in the ICC Galleria. There’s a great group of people in the Council.

What is your go-to Epi meal?

I really like the coffee ice cream milkshakes

If you had to choose a song to describe how your semester is going so far, which song would you choose?

“Gloria” by Laura Branigan.

Running but not pictured: Larry Taylor III (African Society of Georgetown), Mason Cantu (Alphi Phi Omega), Christian Trotti (Ballroom Dance), Brendan Clark (Club Rock Climbing), Miguel Ojeda (Club Soccer), Jack Reichert (GUerilla Improv), Derron Payne (Male Development Association), Chris Warren (Nomadic Theatre), Andrew Orbe (Riqueza Dominicana), Matt Buckwald (Senior Class Committee), Casey Hammond (Superfood)

We hope to see you all at Gaston Hall on Friday, Oct. 11 at 7 p.m. 4E wants to give a big shoutout to the Georgetown Program Board for hosting this annual tradition.

Yang’s Logo Needs a Redesign

Andrew Yang has inspired much excitement in the presidential race among the Yang Gang, but his logo leaves much to be desired. It prominently features the red, white and blue ™ but also has a classic feel that doesn’t match the new standard of other potential candidates’ bold, modern logos. 

As the ~businessman~ he is, he should diversify his portfolio, so here are five products Yang’s logo would better suit.

  1. A Toothpaste

Want a ~presidential~ smile?  Try Yang Brand toothpaste!

2. An Airline

Air Force One? Never heard of her.

3. Men’s Deodorant

Perfect for when you’re ballin’ in Yates!

4. Shaving Cream

Make your legs smoother than Yang’s debate answers!

5. An Eyewear Company

Yangy Parker, giving you 20/20 vision since 2020!

Happy election szn, Hoyas!

The Four Dates You’ll Encounter This Date Party Season

With the fall comes the inevitability of sweater weather, pumpkin spice lattes (shout out to my fellow basic girls), football season and, if you’re a Georgetown student who is still keen on having a Greek life experience, a date party is sure to be included. 

Whether you’re a lucky invitee or the one in the Greek organization, the promise of date party holds great magic and appeal (as long as you don’t find yourself yacking behind the bushes of the venue). Since you’ve probably encountered this group on your own anyway, here are the four dates you’ll come across during your date party experience.

#1 — The Indirect Date

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There’s no doubt that asking someone to your frat or sorority’s date party is nerve-wracking, but there’s nothing quite like the date that’s established indirectly. Maybe it was your best friend who orchestrated the set up, or maybe it was your friend’s friend’s friend who asked if you’d be interested in going together. Either way, all you know is that somehow you got roped into a date without the person even asking you directly or touching base with you about the fact that you’re going together in general. 

#2 — The “I thought we were just going as friends” Date

You’ve known them for a while, shared laughs and played a few good rounds of pong here and there. Thank God, you’ve been asked by a friend you actually don’t need to worry about having ulterior motives. Oh wait, they want to know if you’ll go back to Vil A with them? Welp — this night’s going to have a slightly awkward ending.

#3 — The Mystery Date

Who is this girl? Does she even go here?? You haven’t seen her, and your friends seem to have no clue who she is. You can tell she definitely doesn’t go to Georgetown— perhaps a girl from GW? Oh wait, she goes to American. That explains it. 

#4 — The One Who Had Way Too Much to Drink 

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The night has only begun, yet it seems like this date has been drinking for, well, a while now. Their hair is messy, outfit is ruffled, and their breath is … WOW. The champagne and shackles tradition will end one of two ways: the funniest thing you’ve ever seen or something you can’t unsee.

Why Is Elon Musk So Physically Attractive?

If you’ve ever wondered whether the man behind every Youtuber’s favorite car is attractive, I am here to answer that question.

The Voice Nasa GIF by Morphin - Find & Share on GIPHY
  1. His chiseled facial structure
(Photo: Forbes)

His dimple — that little bullet of beauty — beautifully accentuates his strong cheekbones that add to his chiseled and structured features. The line of his prominent cheekbone starts right below his deep brown eyes, adding to his already symmetrical facial structure. When he looks into the distance, the specks of sienna in his eyes sparkle, bringing out the earthy tones in his irises.

2. His ideal male body

He may not be Channing Tatum circa the early 2000s, but he is something. We stan a Dad Bod.

3. His money

Elon Musk Tesla GIF by Product Hunt - Find & Share on GIPHY

Teslas are pretty, just like Elon <3

4. He’s over six feet tall

Need I say more?

5. It’s just the way he looks at you

(Photo: biography.com)

His eyes grow wide, filled with inspiration and intelligent thought. The circles under his eyes darken each night he stays up late, hypothesizing new innovations or ideas. His crooked smile — that damned smile — is the only asymmetrical feature of Musk, and that smug look on his face captivates not only me, but also investors.

I have only provided five reasons why Elon Musk is physically attractive, but I’m sure if you really take time out of your day, you could think of many more. 4E stands with the inventor of Tesla!

Meet the New Fall 2019 Hires

This year, 4E welcomed three ~amazing~ and ~quirky~ new hires: two sophomores and one freshman! As you read our articles, we hope you familiarize yourself with their names. Here is each new hire’s “Top 3” list!

Janice Negvesky (COL ’22)

Top 3 Spongebob Gifs that Describe the Phases of Finals Szn at Georgetown

  1. “Freedom”: Classes have just ended, and it’s days away from your first final. It’s time to get down at The Corp Gala or aimlessly wander into sweaty Henle parties.
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2. “Grind Time”: Oh — wait, your first final is in two days! You should probably get studying. You’ve recuperated from the last week of classes, and you’re ready to get grinding on that 10-page research paper for your social science final.

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3. “Completion”: You did it, you survived finals by the skin of your… well, you get the point. Get outta here while you still can, and enjoy your break!

Sophie Allan (COL ’22)

Top 3 True Crime Podcasts

  1. My Favorite Murder: Hosted by Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff, “My Favorite Murder” is the perfect blend of true-crime and comedy. From the Power Rangers Murders to the Weepy-Voiced Killer, the podcast covers everything, and you’ll quickly find yourself immersed in the crime-obsessed cult of Muderinos.
  2. The Generation Why Podcast: One of the oldest true crime podcasts, “The Generation Why Podcast,” features two friends, Justin and Aaron, who analyze theories about unsolved murders, conspiracies and controversies. Not for the faint of heart, this podcast is very gory, but the amazing hosts always leave you wanting more.
  3. S-Town: An investigative journalism podcast, “S-Town” is a complex and fascinating look into the life of John B. McLemore — a horologist and resident of “S–t Town, Alabama.” Far from straightforward, this murder mystery podcast can make you laugh and cry all in one episode.

Shreysi Mittal (MSB ’23)

Top Three Ways to Get Around Campus

  1. Contact a Yates bro: There are tons of people out there who seem to constantly be in one of three states: in Yates, going to Yates or coming back from Yates. Spare them the trek to the weightlifting area and just have them carry you place to place instead. Win-win situation.
  2. Use a freshman backpack: There are plenty of freshmen out there with backpacks so large that when they spin, even Darnall gets hit. You could easily slip in there, and they probably wouldn’t even notice they’re carrying you around.
  3. Hide under the GERMS-mobile: They’re always going back and forth, especially if it’s a Thursday night. I don’t think they’d mind if you hitch a ride.

Subtle Georgetown Traits

If you have Facebook, you are probably familiar with the group “Subtle Asian Traits” or “Subtle White People Traits.” Here is the newest and only edition of “Subtle Georgetown Traits,” aimed to demonstrate all our ~peculiarities~ and ~quirks~ here on the Hilltop. Feel free to show this post to your friends who ask you “Georgetown? Is that the same was George Washington?” or “Oh, Georgetown in Kentucky?”

Excited Big East GIF by BIG EAST Conference - Find & Share on GIPHY

1. Having to apply to a club devoted to eating

Note: I got rejected. I guess I don’t eat the right food.

2. Thinking it’s cool to talk about SAT scores at a party

To freshmen: You all got into Georgetown. Why does it matter if you got a 1550 and Brittany over here got in with a 1200? Please just do what the rest of us are doing and get so drunk that all you’re thinking about is food.

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3. Sending hundreds of emails about burglaries on campus but insisting on hiring student guards instead of professionals

The only thing that floods my inbox more than the GU bookstore emails (GET YOUR TEXTBOOKS TODAY!) is HOYAlert. I’ve been to other college campuses before, all of which hire police officers and security guards. Meanwhile, here on the Hilltop, our strongest defender is a 6’2″ MSBro just trying to make $14.

4. Considering a plain tortilla with some heated cheese a “gourmet tradition”

Don’t get me wrong. I love Epi quesadillas. But we’re out here paying over $70k to flex about quesadillas and Chicken Tenders on Thursdays.

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5. Being in the minority for not having a Goyard bag or Gucci belt

People who don’t succumb to the temptations of luxury brands are like those who still didn’t watch Game of Thrones after all the memes and posts online.

6. Giving your resume to Hasan Minhaj

To whoever did this: What did you gain?

Cfda Awards 2019 Hasan Minaj GIF by CFDA - Find & Share on GIPHY

7. Competing to see who has the most midterms this week

This one is always the definition of “weird flex but ok.” Chad, I’m sorry you have to stay up all night to complete four group projects and presentations. That doesn’t change the fact that I still have to study for my exams.

8. Hosting a 2.5 hour long chef battle to make up for the fact that there was a dead fly in your salad

In all fairness, it was an intense battle. “Chopped” is quaking.

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9. Paying $2.6 million to have your kid live in a flooded VCE

No explanation needed.

10. The most diverse part of Georgetown is the workers at Leo’s

As GUSA candidates always say, “Diversity and Inclusivity!”

All jokes aside, we at 4E absolutely love Georgetown. We have our ups and our downs, but even the brutalist architecture of Lau represents home to us.

5 Fall Semester Bucket List Items You Don’t Want To Miss

It’s that time of year again, Hoyas, although the hot and humid D.C. days still feel never-ending, FALL is right around the corner! If you’re a senior this year (sad!) this is the time to take advantage of all the things you’ll miss next year! Whether you’ve been anticipating or dreading the start of a new school year, the fall semester on the Hilltop is full of things you’re sure to miss come spring semester. Here are the five things you need to check off your bucket list before leaving for break in December!

  1. Sports, Sports, Sports
Football Soccer GIF by Tacoma FD - Find & Share on GIPHY

Time to get spirited Hoyas! Whether you’re an oldie senior like me or a baby freshman, there’s no time like the fall to bleed Blue and Gray! Football, soccer, volleyball and all the other sports rely on their student section for support! Lots of games are free or discounted, and if you’re really broke, you can watch for free out of the Harbin common room windows. If you’re REALLY not into any fall sports, at least basketball season isn’t far away ….

2. Get Spooky!

Whether it’s the nearly two-month midterm season, a looming GRE or LSAT, or the never-ending supply of rats living in your Henle, fall at Georgetown is full of spooks and scaries. All jokes aside, Halloweekend is one of the best times to be on campus! Be sure to enjoy Haunted Healy, put together a great group costume and take some fire Insta pics while you’re at it. 

3. ITS PSL SEASON

Okay, okay, I get it. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are SOOO overrated. Trust me, I feel you. They’re arguably the worst. What isn’t the worst are all of the amazing fall-themed treats you’ll find on and off campus. Pie Sisters makes the best pumpkin pie, Georgetown Cupcake is bound to have some festive treats and, who knows, maybe The Corp will be dishing out some palatable fall munchies. You know I’m already keeping my eye out for the new Trader Joe’s fall treats.

4. Friendsgiving

Thanksgiving is all about food, wine and friends. There’s no better time than the fall to get your friends together to bond over what all students love the most: food. Chef up something yummy in your common room, make some apple cider in your Keurig or use a meal swipe and bring over one of Leo’s finest gourmet creations. Whatever it may be, if there’s food and friends to vent with, then you’re doing it right! After all, it’s bound to be less stressful than Thanksgiving with your entire extended family ….

5. Feel the Holiday Spirit!

Holidays on the Hilltop are a whirlwind of emotion. The most wonderful time of the year meets the least wonderful time of the year: finals season. Don’t worry — there are plenty of exciting things to get you through the stress of finals. Holiday cheer is everywhere on campus! The glowing “hoyas” sign outside the front gates is a Georgetown Instagram classic, second only to a picture in John Carroll’s lap. Be sure to catch the lighting of the Dahlgren Christmas tree and let loose a little at winter formals!

Gif Source: Giphy.com