Manchinema: An enemies-to-lovers romance

Love is in the air, y’all, and it looks like American can’t get enough of the Hill’s hottest new power couple. With Valentine’s Day still fresh in our minds, these two just love being the center of everything: attention, the political spectrum, and most every Democratic lawmaker’s mind. 

While this pairing may seem natural in an increasingly radical, Socialist Democratic party, the two would have been at each other’s throats a mere decade ago— and not in a sexy way. You see, this is a classic enemies-to-political-lovers story, one that will shape the future for years to come.

One side of this inflation-wary coin is Joseph Manchin the Third, who shares a name with Joseph R. Biden, his party leader and president. However, their similarities end there. 

Joe “I don’t know anybody that doesn’t own a gun” Manchin is a proud conservative Democrat from West Virginia who once famously shot President Obama’s climate bill in a campaign ad. He’s a steadfast lover of all things coal, pollution, and is the bane of r/antiwork’s existence. But there’s nothing Manchin loves more than another rabble-rousing Democrat with which he shares the collective hate of the Democratic party. Her name? Krysten Lea Sinema.

Krysten “bisexual yas queen girlboss” Sinema is a Senator from sunny Arizona. More specifically, she’s the senior senator from Arizona, which is honestly such a dated term, because it’s so wrong to comment on a woman’s age. 

Senator Sinema, whose voting record in 2019 was more conservative than Mitch McConnel’s, took a more unique road to becoming a conservative Democrat than Manchin. As a graduate of Brigham Young University, she quickly disavowed her Mormon religion,became an early supporter of LGBTQ+ rights and was an outspoken pacifist during the War on Terror. Thankfully, Mr. Manchin and Ms. Sinema did not know each other at the time, which was probably for the best because Mr. Manchin might have mistaken her for Satan herself.

However, after almost two decades of public service, these unlikely political allies have drawn closer and closer together — so close, in fact, that news outlets have given them a cute couple’s nickname: Manchinema. Forget Bennifer and Brangelina. Manchinema is America’s hot new power couple. 

While it may sound like a liver disease, their rock-solid (or, I guess, coal-solid) relationship is only reinforced by their shared affinity of corporate donations, Republicans and anti-progressive anger. Instead of leaving room for Jesus, they leave room for the filibuster. 

So with this Valentine’s Day in mind, while you’re sitting alone in your cold, dark room, just remember that you still have a chance at finding your other half. If Manchinema can find each other, so can you.

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