After a heated debate between some of The Hoya staffers over some of the answers in a Staffer of the Week post, I decided it was time to settle a major debate that has divided our society since 1996:
Which Pokémon starter is the best? [None of this Mudkip, Torchic, Treeko bullhonky]
Jon Rabar – Publishing Division Consultant Squirtle is the best starter because his evolved form is literally a goddamn battleship
Victoria Edel – Managing Editor Squirtle is the best because he looks baller in sunglasses.
Nicole Jarvis – Deputy Guide Editor 1. Squirtle is adorable and I am admittedly superficial with regards to my Pokémon. 2. It attacks using bubbles 3. Squirrel + Turtle = Squirtle, and those are both adorable animals. Plus I’m partial to Water-Type Pokemon. Always.
Ryan Bacic – Senior Sports Editor As a certified Pokemon Master (I won my grade’s Red and Blue tournament in high school), I’m frankly embarrassed that this question is even being asked. Charizard is a powerhouse — give me that Flamethrower, Slash, Hyper Beam, Earthquake moveset all day, erry day. Boom, you’re dead. Get out.
Michelle Cassidy – Founder/Former Senior Editor of 4E JUST LOOK AT THIS FACE. HOW CAN YOU SAY NO TO THIS FACE?
Emily Manbeck – Deputy Guide Editor He’s adorable.
Steven Piccione – Former Managing Editor (Prepare yourself for what you’re about to read) It’s the beginning of the game. No time to waste. You need a starter who will carry you through the first two gyms, so you can level up your fellow team members and evolve your starter. Who do you choose? BULBASAUR. Why? Well here are some fun tips for the Charmander-obsessed (conformists) and the Squirtle-fixated (suckers for a cute baby water turtle).
These types are very weak against grass. If you choose Charmander, you run the risk of losing to Misty as your fire pokemon is weak to water. And as for Squirtle, you run the risk of losing to Lt. Surge due to the fact that water is weak against electric.
Bulbasaur outpaces both Charmander and Squirtle in base HP, Defense, Special Attack, and Special Defense.
But it doesn’t stop there. Of course, one could say Charmander’s evolved form Charizard is a “powerhouse,” but that’s nothing more than being a brute. You want a pokemon who can work with someone with enough brain cells to formulate a strategy:
Sleep powder, Poisonpowder, leechseed, and Growth. These moves are the ones that will keep a pokemon alive in battle. Sure fire is super effective versus grass, but life isn’t about hypotheticals. You need a starter who will be the one to finish the race, not sprint part of it. The archaic moves of both Charmander and Squirtle are cute and fancy at first, but what happens when the 5/5 PP runs out of Fire Blast or Hydro Pump? You’re going to settle with Bubble…or Fly? Hah. Have fun with that. Slowly but surely Leechseed will take you down, or that Poisonpowder will get to you first.
That’s right. You may get lucky with Charmander at first versus Bulbasaur, but this betch will get you from the grave. You’re poisoned, you just won the battle, but good luck getting to a PokéCenter before you die. Shit’s real and Bulbasaur will haunt you from the grave.
In conclusion, Hunter is wrong.
So, what do YOU think? THIS DEBATE MUST BE SETTLED. VOTE OR PERISH.