This is your official notice that the GUSA Town Hall happening tonight is actually going to be interesting. A write-in ticket has announced that it will hold an alternative town hall. More importantly, Hot Chick and Chicken Madness will be at the university-sanctioned town hall to answer your questions. Sandwiches will present at a town hall meeting. Sandwiches will speak.
If there were ever a campaign season that necessitated drinking, it’s this year’s GUSA debacle. Here are the rules that will help get you through tonight’s town hall:
Drink if
- Someone claiming to be a translator brings a Hot Chick and a Chicken Madness
- You learn the name(s) of candidate(s) who have already dropped out
- You learn the name(s) of candidate(s) who are still in the running
- Someone mentions “Diversity though inclusion”
- A candidate acts like he or she can “fix” the campus plan
- Todd Olson comes up
- Chris promises to be “inclusive”
- Hot Chick declares that the use of hoverboards is a natural right
- Someone mentions Aramark and/or its contract with the university
- The counter-town hall ticket shows up
- Anyone name drops an administrator like they’re old friends
Finish your drink if
- Someone uses the term “Crenushe”
- Crenushe breaks into this song about bridges
- Trump won’t come because he thinks Megyn Kelly will be there
Take flaming shot if
- A candidate accuses Enushe of receiving funding from Goldman Sachs
Pour one out if
- Someone steals a bite out of any of the candidates
Streak in the snow from one town hall to the other if
- Georgetown Academy attends wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask
Experience the impending hilarity in the HFSC great room. Or you can follow the Hoya’s twitter account, @thehoya for live updates.
Photos: facebook.com, pbs.org