The Golden Globes have finally arrived, and tonight’s award for Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy is sure to provide a riveting race among some of the year’s top films. I figured I’d give you guys a hand with some of the movie summaries, in case you haven’t made it to the theaters to see them all yet.
Disclaimer: The majority of these summaries are not accurate, nor do I intend for them to be. I didn’t see any of these movies. But I do hope you laugh a little.
This one is like Ocean’s Eleven, but with incredibly bad hair. Bradley Cooper has a perm, Christian Bale has a combover and Jeremy Renner doubles as both an Elvis impersonator and a TV preacher. The fact that anyone takes these three seriously is incredible. Katniss Everdeen also makes a cameo, and now she has some variation of a Brooklyn accent, so that’s always fun.
It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: Siri goes rogue! This Spike Jonze film is sure to be an instant classic, as everyone’s favorite operating system, Siri, tries to become a real person with a physical, human body. If you liked Pinocchio or Disney’s Smart House, you’ll love this one.
Llewyn Davis is your average tabby cat, except he actually possesses incredible musical talent. Follow Llewyn and the big, sad guy who’s always carrying him on their journey across the country as Llewyn tries to become a successful folk singer despite fierce species discrimination and some people’s strong belief that cats just can’t play the banjo. The Blues Brothers meet Aristocats in a fascinating film on the feline condition.
Ten years after Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Nebraska brings viewers back to the same lovable family of senior citizens (and Charlie). After their visit to Willy Wonka’s factory, Charlie Bucket and Grandpa have moved the family to America. One day, Grandpa finds a “Golden Ticket” of his own and wins a million dollars on a scratch ticket. He and Charlie go on a journey to Nebraska to claim his prize, and along the way, they learn some valuable lessons about the dangers of materialism. It’s constantly windy in Nebraska and Will Forte and Bruce Dern’s hair flows through that wind with beauty and grace, unlike the coifs of American Hustle.
20 years after the sinking of the Titanic, The Wolf of Wall Street begins with a shocking revelation: Jack Dawson miraculously survived the tragedy. Starting off with funds from selling his artwork, Jack begins investing in an effort to amass a fortune and eventually find Rose, all while having a little fun on the way. Leonardo DiCaprio reprises his role as Jack in a movie that is fun for the whole family. Be sure to bring the kids!
And there you have it. Those are your 2014 nominees for the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy. A big thanks goes to Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig for providing the inspiration for this piece.
Disclaimer, again: A large portion of these summaries is not accurate, nor do I intend for them to be. I didn’t see any of these movies. But I do hope you laughed a little.