Happy spooky season,y’all! Now that we’ve moved past the 80-degree October nights and we’re officially into sweater weather, it’s time to break out the pumpkin spice and the list of Halloween costume ideas I know you started in August (trust me, I did it too).
Besides giving college students another excuse to party excessively and dress in questionably appropriate outfits for three days (and the fact that there are now only TWO months left until Christmas), the best part about this month is the movies that come along with it. Growing up in the early 2000s means that we were all blessed with some of the greatest Halloween movies to ever exist. Now, I’m not talking about all those overrated and unreasonably gory horror movies: I’m talking about Disney! So, if you need some ideas to help you procrastinate that paper or simply something to put you in the spooky mood, here are our Top 5 Disney Halloween Movies:
5. ‘The Haunted Mansion’
Any movie with Eddie Murphy in it automatically gets an A+ from me; I mean, have y’all seen Shrek?
4. ‘Hocus Pocus’
Who doesn’t love a classic movie about resurrection, magic and trickery?
3. ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’
This movie combines two of the greatest holidays (Halloween and Christmas), and really, there’s not much more you need in life.
2. ‘Twitches’
Finding out that you’re a witch and that you have a long-lost twin sister all in a couple of days would be enough to drive anyone crazy.
1. ‘Halloweentown’
Honestly, I don’t think this one needs any kind of explanation. Marnie Cromwell is an icon, and I aspire to be half as ballsy as she is one day. While the first movie is by far the best, I think the entire “Halloweentown” franchise deserves recognition.
Fellow Hoyas, prepare yourselves. Spooky szn is descending upon us — and no, I’m not referring to the sudden ubiquity of dead rodents on campus.
That’s right: It’s almost Halloween, and if you’re not interested in frantically scouring the clearance bins of every store on M Street the day before ~Halloweekend~ begins, it’s time to start thinking. Luckily, you have us lovely folks at 4E here to guide you in picking the right costume to impress that cutie from “Problem of God.”
1. For the MSBro:
You’ve been wearing stiff suits every day, Birding from your dorm to the MSB to recruitment events and investment banking job interviews like a maniac. It’s time to let loose, Brad! Shed that Brooks Brothers jacket, kick off your Gucci loafers and go a little crazy. Hugh Hefner is the perfect costume for you this Halloween — comfortable and relaxed, but still on brand.
This could be you, Chad!
What you’ll need for this costume: A silk robe and preferably some gray hair spray. The pipe optional, but respect that Hugh would never Juul.
2. For the NHS-er:
THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, NHS. You have the one thing no other school at Georgetown has: scrubs. Go as your favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character — AKA literally anyone but Izzie — and carry around some lollipops for bonus points. Just be careful not to be too convincing in your costume, or you’ll become the de facto GERMS dispatcher of the night, holding back your friends’ hair near the bushes of Henle Village.
You, breaking it down at the Henle in total and complete comfort as all your friends complain about their costumes being uncomfortable.When your friend slips on some soda and thinks they broke their ankle, you can put those freshman bio class #skillz to use and tell them to rally!
What you’ll need: scrubs, maybe some lollipops and your charming self.
3. For the SFS-er:
You need the world to know both that you’re in the SFS and that you are ~politically conscious.~ You don’t just get CNN notifications on your phone — you listen to podcasts and read think-pieces as you run from “Map of the Modern World” to “I-Trade” (both of which are SFS core requirements, which the SFS has a lot of, which you have to take because you’re…in the SFS). That’s why for Halloween you should go as the anonymous New York Times Trump op-ed! Intelligence and worldliness with a little bit of ~mystery~ is what you’re all about, and this is the perfect costume to show the world what ya got — and leave them wanting more.
What you’ll need: This costume exactly (and for people to know you’re in the SFS. That’s the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, or SFS for short).
4. The College Kid:
While all your friends in other schools at Georgetown talk about their focus and their requirements and how their school is ~different,~ you have opted for a liberal arts education and greater breadth of majors/paths of study. You can’t be put in a box. Some might even say you … Can’t Be Tamed.
To capture the true variety of the College, grab a few pals from the largest of the undergraduate schools here on the Hilltop, and go as Miley Cyrus through the ages. The theater kid can embrace Miley’s performative versatility and go as Hannah Montana, while your JUPS major friend can be this new hippie Miley who meditates and enjoys her ~greens.~ There’s something for everyone!
What you’ll need: A few friends, some bleach to dye your hair and a readiness to stick your tongue out in every picture.
With these suggestions in mind, go forth and conquer those pre-Halloween costume-picking scaries! And if you’re really pressed and need a scary costume ASAP, write “70k” on a shirt and go as the scariest thing of them all: our tuition. Happy Hoya-ween!
Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande have broken up. I can’t say I’m surprised, but at the same time, I am. On the bright side, it beats Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries.
Here are 20 things that have lasted longer than Pete and Ari’s fleeting engagement:
The time it takes for Royal Jacket to give me my pre-made sandwich
Brett Kavanaugh’s FBI investigation
My good mood after a night at Grand Central
Walmart Yodeling Kid’s career
“Big Bootie 14”
The “I’m gonna go to Yates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday” phase after New Year’s
A macro lecture with Prof. Carol Rogers
That period of time when clowns killed people
A late-night Snapchat from a ~lonely boy~ at 2 a.m.
The moment of silence for that person who drops their food in downstairs Leo’s
Any friendship made at a sweaty NSO party
The lifespan of the Wisey’s rat
A nap after an SAE darty
iPhone X battery life
Random fire alarms in Lau during finals season
A leftover Epi quesadilla
The time it took for Lil Wayne to drop his album
A basic Instagram Boomerang in front of Healy on a sunny day
The flavor of Wisey’s Oreo cookies
Any Vil A rooftop party
The time it takes for the Copley elevator to go from the first floor to the second
Many years ago, the mere thought of writing this article would have been absurd. There was once a time when school spirit was high, lottery picks roamed the Hilltop and students needed no convincing when it came time to buy basketball season tickets. But that was a lifetime ago.*
*I’m actually referring to as recently as 2013. You read that right. Just five years ago, Georgetown basketball finished first in the Big East, was ranked as high as fifth in the AP Poll and star guard Otto Porter was selected third in the NBA draft. Everyone needs to calm down (looking at you, @EveryAlumnusWhoGraduatedInThe1980s). We’re going to be fine.
But I digress. We are gathered here today to discuss the current state of Georgetown basketball as it exists in 2018. And I’m here to tell you why — despite what you may have heard from disgruntled seniors — buying season tickets is well worth the money.
So here we go:
1. Celebrities
I’ll admit it: I spend far more time scrolling through Daily Mail Online than I do reading The New York Times. And based on how many of you waited in line for hours to see Bradley Cooper speak in Gaston Hall, I’m guessing you’re just as obsessed with celebrities as I am.
So, even if you couldn’t care less about basketball and will spend the entire game staring at your Instagram feed instead of glancing at the court, you should still buy tickets. Why? It’s simple: Famous people might show up.
Don’t believe me? See below:
Former President Barack Obama sitting courtside, cheering on the Hoyas with that guy from the memes.Obama thanking loyal fans who bought season tickets.
The dad from “Are We There Yet?” AND the second-best detective from “Law and Order: SVU”
Mr. Hailey Baldwin
Think of how it will feel being left out when all your friends start sharing those coveted Obama selfies on Insta.
2. Less Time On Campus
Literally any day I do not have to spend stuck on this moldy, rat-infested, construction-filled campus is a day well-spent. I say this out of love, but also, please do something, @JohnJDeGioia; none of the sinks work, and the buildings are literally infested with living snakes. Search @georgetown.hotmess on Instagram for specifics. The Verizon Center Capital One Arena is nice and does not use tulips to cover its glaring problems.
3. Heyyyyyyy Baby
Even during the worst losses, the pep band plays that song that goes “Heyyyyyyyy-yyyy Baby, I wanna knoooooooow if you’ll be my girl (*dun dun dun dun*)” and everybody sings and sort of dances along to it. It’s really fun and a nice break from the routine of “Mr. Brightside.” Also, if you don’t know what song I’m talking about, just sing the words I wrote and Shazam it.
4. Beer
In the recent, infamous words of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA Less Attractive Matt Damon AKA Are You Kidding Me @Joe Manchin: “I liked beer, I still like beer.” Capital One Arena has beer.
Disclaimer: Students must be 21 or older to drink aforementioned beer.
5. Chick-Fil-A
Chick-Fil-A is available at the games, and it’s honestly faster to Uber over to the arena, order and eat your meal than it is to wait in line at the Leavey Center location.
6. Slam Dunk
Have you ever seen somebody dunk a basketball in person? It is so cool. How do they jump so high? And make the ball go in the basket while jumping? This alone is worth the price of admission. Mac McClung, do us proud this year. Also, if you’re reading this, follow me back on Instagram.
7. The Memes
When the meme page was first born way back in the early days of 2017, the memes almost exclusively referenced a man they called “JT3”. And it was these very memes that single-handedly ended JT3’s reign and brought St. Patrick into our lives.
For you youngsters out there, this was a dark time, but an important one nonetheless. Those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it. You must go to the games so that you can recognize the warning signs. If things ever get that bad again, it is your responsibility to make the next generation of memes. The fate of the Hilltop depends on it.
8. The Capitals
Fun fact: Capital One Arena is also home to the current Stanley Cup champions, the Washington Capitals! For the unfamiliar, the Capitals are the hockey team that locals pretend to like because all the other D.C. sports teams are bad. Also, their team captain partied at the Georgetown waterfront with the cup this summer and then jumped in the fountain. Based on the Snapchats I saw, it looked pretty fun. So maybe he’ll show up to one of our games! Fun!
9. Alumni
Most of the fans at these games are alumni over the age of 40 who are eager to loudly remind you that school spirit “isn’t what it used to be” (and also that there was once “a pub in the basement of Healy.” Seriously, they will talk about that damn pub for hours if you don’t stop them. Like, there is no way it was that fun.)
Now I know “irate Hoya baby boomers” might not sound like a recipe for a good time, but think of it in terms of networking. It’s simple. These people love Georgetown basketball, and they’ll love you too if you tell them that you also love Georgetown basketball (see: the Transitive Property of Hoya Saxa). Get them reminiscing about the good ol’ days for five minutes in the popcorn line and the next thing you know, boom: You’ve somehow secured that elusive Goldman internship. All you MSBros do not want to miss this opportunity.
10. Me
Listen up: This is my senior year, and I do not want to spend the remainder of my glory days sitting in a mostly empty arena on a Tuesday night. These memories have to get me through the rest of what will probably be a pretty boring life, so they better be good. Just buy tickets, show up to the games, get some beer, cheer and make the most of it.
Go get your tickets at wearegeorgetown.com
Hoya Saxa.
Disclaimer: Patrick Ewing is NOT paying me to write this article, but if you’re reading this, Coach Ewing, can you please grant me access to the Thompson Center in exchange for this free publicity?? I won’t even use any of the equipment, I just want to get a cool pic for my Insta story so I can lord it over the peasants at Yates. Email 4E if this is cool.
We’re already a month into the school year, and I still only own one notebook and one pencil, so we’re off to a strong start :’)
Clearly, organization, planning and most other life skills may not be my strong suit, but there is something I’m good at: procrastinating. And what is my favorite form of procrastination? Wasting money on things I most definitely don’t need — ironically, I refuse to spend a single cent on any new school supplies.
While there are already many blog posts out there about saving money or offering ideas on creating a realistic budget, there aren’t a lot for once you’ve already accepted you don’t have the self-control for financial planning.
So, if you’re like me and also a lost cause when it comes to saving your hard-earned money, I’ve created an “anti-budget” of some of the ways and places I most frequently waste mine:
1. Uber
I realize Ubers are necessary for many people and sometimes they are for me too. I take them to my job, to the airport, and to many other places where I actually need to be in a timely fashion. However, I also use them to go to IHOP at 2 a.m. or to pick me up on M Street when it’s starting to rain and I don’t want to walk back to campus. Basically, I’m lazy, and Uber now has a lot of my money. I haven’t yet gotten to the point of ordering them just to drive around for fun, but I’m rapidly approaching this rock bottom.
2. Saxby’s
I am not exaggerating when I say I think a solid quarter of my life savings has gone to Saxby’s. Here’s the situation: I’ve been drinking coffee since I was about 3 years old — really not sure why my parents not only allowed this, but also encouraged it. So, yes, I am addicted to coffee (thanks, Mom and Dad) but do I need to be spending $10 plus my firstborn child on it? No. Do I anyway? Absolutely. I have so many regrets.
Actual budgeting advice: If you weren’t aware, Saxby’s does free refills if you stay and do work there.
3. On-Campus Vending Machines
The thing about vending machines is that you don’t feel like you’re spending a lot of money, but when you buy Smart Food at 3 a.m. in Lau for months on end, that $1.75 really adds up. I would recommend this tactic for a mostly guilt-free way to waste money — until you check your banking account and realize your grave miscalculation.
4. Any Corp Location
To put it simply, everything at The Corp is overpriced, but I love snacks. Sometimes I just really need a family-sized bag of barbecue chips at 11 p.m., and by sometimes, I mean approximately once a week. People say that The Corp is going under, but I mathematically don’t know how that’s possible considering how much they charge for a bag of chips. What are they doing with all my money??
5. Opera
If you don’t yet know what it is, do not find out. Going to opera is the equivalent of setting $20 on fire. If you want to pay someone to have a bad time, this one’s for you.
6. Online Shopping
I’m going to end with a classic — online shopping. It starts with “I’m going to browse,” and that turns into “I’m just going to add some stuff to my cart.” Then you black out and realize that you just put in your credit card information and bought three almost identical turtlenecks because you couldn’t decide, and all of them were on sale, so it had to be a good deal, right?
I’m hoping this list will give me a wake-up call for my irresponsible spending habits. (It probably won’t.) Please feel free to judge me and the way I handle money, but if you decide to take any of my suggestions, I will not judge you.
It’s sophomore year, ladies and gentlemen, which means we’re all ~experienced~ and can now look down on the lowly freshmen who walk the dreaded path to Darnall Hall. But besides the slightly upgraded situation — minus all the rats that bless our apartments, dorms and townhouses (#stayclassygtown) — all of us have really grown as individuals, haven’t we? I mean, new semester, new us, right?
Lo and behold, midterm season is upon us right in the midst of rejections from clubs, jobs and whatever else we pre-professional Hoyas dream of attaining.
As sophomores, we’ve moved on from competing to get into the most exclusive clubs (not really though) and comparing midterm grades (eh, have we really?). Instead, we’ve moved onto bigger, better and brighter things: jobs and internships.
So, here it is dear Hoyas: the types of people during midterm #szn, sophomore year edition.
1. The Bragger
This person constantly notes how many classes they’re taking on top of their internship for the Department of Justice, some fancy senator or the White House. And SOMEHOW they will find a way to sneak their GPA into the discussion.
Here’s an example: “The weather is beautiful today. Almost as beautiful as opening MyAccess and seeing that stunning 3.9 GPA.” Did I ask for your resume? No. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize me saying “excuse me” to grab a pack of gummy bears was the green light for you to tell me that, on top of your 10 classes that are all 6 credits and your ~amazing, pre-professional~ internship, you have four midterms Thursday. Seriously. I just want my gummy bears.
2. The Coffee Addict
To be honest, I’m almost positive I spent my life savings at Midnight Mug the night I was cooped up in a Lau 2study room for nine hours. To the people on shift that night, I truly apologize. If you had to make a non-fat large chai latte, chances are, it was mine. Much love to everyone at Midnight.
That confession aside, we should come clean: All of us have been this person. I think we can all come to the general consensus that a diet solely consisting of coffee, more coffee and the occasional chocolate-covered coffee beans is most certainly not a sustainable way of living. Hoyas, if you ever get to the point where it takes you five espresso shots for your soul to even feel mildly stimulated, please…I don’t even know. Self-care, self-love. Remember we’re trying to ~thrive~ not just survive.
3. The Zombie
I just don’t understand…like, what?? How can someone pull consecutive all-nighters and still function like a normal human being, or at least some semblance of one. Honey, seriously, I know the chairs on Lau 2 can seem really comfortable if it’s 5 a.m., but please go back to your bed and sleep there.
On the note of sleep deprivation, let’s talk about eye bags. Well, it’s a look for sure. Moral of the story: Get on that healthy #Hoya sleep schedule with an average of 4.5 hours a night.*
*Don’t come for me if that statistic is wrong pls. It’s really a guesstimate. Thx.
Well, there you have it. Happy midterm #szn, Hoyas. If your intense course load and grueling internships don’t break you, lack of sleep will! Such exciting prospects. We at 4E sincerely wish you the best of luck.
If you haven’t spent these past weeks drowning in used tissues and Advil, this Hoya desperately wants to know your secret. Yes! You heard that barely concealed coughing fit from the back of your crowded microeconomics lecture correctly, the Georgetown Plague™ is upon us.
While we may be living in a petri dish, at least the relatability of this struggle can be exploited by your friends at 4E. Here are the five stages of being sick on the Hilltop:
1. Attempting home remedy
Throat coat? Check. Advil? Check. Suddenly wishing you were pre-med? Check. All of the Aspirin that you packed from home might be able to save you, right? Right??
Although copious amounts of tea and Tylenol can’t stop your impending doom, it won’t stop you from trying!
2. Taking a trip to the Student Health Center
After your own medical knowledge fails, surely Georgetown, the fine institution you are paying your life savings to attend, will be able to rescue you from yourself! A quick 30-minute phone call later, you’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor… next Thursday.
3. Accepting your fate
It’s true! Sometimes you need to be sick in order to appreciate being well — or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself to feel better! Your roommate has to inevitably put up with 4 a.m. coughing fits, and you have to fight through that 9 a.m. lecture while putting up with dirty looks from students and professors alike.
Apparently, being sick is a natural part of life. Just one that no one wants to experience.
4. Freedom
The long journey comes to an end. Alas now, you have no more excuses for procrastinating your midterm paper!
The sudden rebirth you feel is accompanied by a newfound appreciation for health, along with promises to work out at Yates every day and stop eating Chick-Fil-A every night.
5. Repetition
That’s right folks, your already-weakened immune system will inevitably fail you again! The close quarters of dorm life and crowded Vil A rooftops are breeding grounds for contamination.
But fear not! Because if you can survive the Georgetown Plague™, you can easily survive anything the Hilltop throws your way.
AKA, happy end of all things fresh, new and exciting. Happy death ‘n’ afterlife to all things green. And, above all else: a very happy ~midtermz~.
The magic of the welcome and/or return to the Hilltop has sizzled and has now begun its fall fizzle. The Stall Street Journal listing the scores of Things to Do in D.C. has been replaced. Your color-coded to do list fell victim to the avalanche of Stats printing mishaps. And perhaps, while the roomie wasn’t looking, you sent that dubious text you swore you’d never.
October brings spooky time, kids. In preparation, we here at 4E have put together a cautionary tale of sorts: the anti-bucket list.
The ANTI-Bucket List
Things you probably never thought you’d do at Georgetown.
But you probably have.
1. Epi at 2 p.m.: You thought you wanted a quesadilla, when really, you just wanted to relive 1:30 a.m. on a Saturday night.
2. Wisey’s Twice in the Same Day: Because while Aramark has tried its hand at faux &pizza, Sweetgreen and Falafel, Inc., Royal Jacket simply pales in comparison to the art of Wisemiller’s Deli & Grocery.
3. Lau At 3 p.m. and 3 a.m.: One paper needed to be written. And in those 12 hours, you’ve managed to share four Facebook posts, down three cups of coffee, make two friends at The Midnight Mug, artfully craft one new meme and write zero words.
4. Failed to Leave* Georgetown?: You swore this would be the year you ran to the monuments at sunrise, found all those evasive insta-friendly graffitied walls and checked those museums off your (bucket) list. Our lovely bubble was once yours for the bursting, but now it seems kind of perfect the way it is.
*AdMo at 1 a.m. does not count.
5. Left Your Laundry in the Washer for *Only* a Few Hours After Its Cycle Finished: And that was the day you become *that* person.
6. Easy Mac: Our most dependable friend. Just add water.
7. Fallen on the Red Brick Road: Did anyone see that half-stumble, half-pay-a-millisecond-visit-to-your-maker after you encountered that loose brick on N Street? At least some experiences make us grateful for modern marvels like poured concrete .
8. Paid a Lockout Fee: This one goes out to you, roommate who insists a $100 lock-change fee is a reasonable trade-off for the invitation that would automatically be extended to Freddy Krueger by leaving your apartment door unlocked.
9.“Insufficient Funds”: An inevitable reality, kindly facilitated by Chick-Fil-A and our helpless acquiescence to The Corp. But who thought it would happen this fast?
10.Made an Actual Bucket List: It’s okay, we have too.
If you found yourself thinking, “been there, done that,” we’re sorry: NSO-era you is probably frowning.
Less than a month into the school year and it’s already ~midterm szn~. As Hoyas are still recovering from the aftermath of homecoming and the unfortunate loss of Wingo’s (I still don’t want to talk about it), we are nonetheless forced to transition from our summertime laziness into the academic school year.
Whether you study diligently on Lau 2 or walk into the classroom not knowing you even had an exam, here are what your Hilltop study spots say about you:
MSB
MSBro by day and white button-down/Gucci Belt enthusiast by night, you dive into the textbooks in order to someday become a big-balling investment banker. You’re probably that person who not only brings an abundance of pens to class, but also refuses to lend any of them them to anyone. On a Saturday night, we can find you generously hosting a pre-game but also anxiously telling your friends to “SHUT UP AND HIDE EVERYTHING” at the sound of a suspiciously loud knock on your door. Although you epitomize the “my daddy is richer than yours” complex, we still appreciate your ability to work hard and play hard– especially when you’re flaunting your clout goggles in the basement of a sweaty GPB party.
Lau
Whether you’re working on Lau 2 or Lau 5, we all know you only dragged yourself here because you have to pull an all-nighter. Odds are you ‘prefer’ to buy Burnetts simply because it’s the cheapest option. You are also probably that perpetually sick person who coughs every ten seconds during a 200-person lecture in the ICC (it’s okay though, we understand that setting up an appointment at the health center is literally impossible, so you’re excused). The lock screen on your iPhone is most likely still a screenshot of your schedule, and you are ~wild~ enough to address your professors by their first names in emails. Despite all this, we at 4E applaud anyone who chooses to spend time in the ugliest building on campus.
Bioethics Library
If you’re a girl, you probably paid for Premium Vsco X, and if you’re a guy, you probably pay for meals at Epi instead of using your meal swipes at Leo’s or Royal Jacket. Your motto is “fiscally conservative and socially liberal”, and there’s no way you’re not showing up to every SAE darty without knowing a single person there. Yates? Never heard of her– your boujee ass goes to Soul Cycle. You constantly talk about how much you love DC, yet you take a plane to NYC every weekend.
Front Lawn
You truly believe that you are the Georgetown Poster Child, signing up for every club at CAB Fair and insta-storying in front of the John Carroll Statue. If you ran for GUSA, your campaign most definitely promised to “lower tuition” and “add Chick-Fil-A to the meal plan”. If Jack the Bulldog is walking around , you’re bound to stop whatever you’re doing to document it on an ~unnecessarily~ long Snapchat story. You probably got GERMSd at Club Lau (RIP) and speak Intermediate II Spanish while lit at sweaty Henles.
Your Room
In just ten hours of studying, you can accomplish an astounding twenty minutes of work! Of all the personalities we have covered, you are by far the laziest, as shown by the fact that you refuse to leave your humble abode. You would rather wait ten minutes for the Walsh elevator to go from floor 1 to 3, and your primary roommate tension stems from your refusal to abandon your comfortable bed when it’s time to get sexiled. If it rains (s/o every day for the past two weeks), you will hold yourself hostage in your own room, even if that means resorting to calling Wisey’s for delivery. Chances are you’re getting absolutely no work done and are either playing video games, watching cooking videos on Youtube, or napping.
Wherever you decide to study, we at 4E are impressed that you’re at least attempting to be an ~academic weapon~. Your parents are proud. Happy studying to all the Hoyas, and good luck on your midterms!
If you’re feeling the burnout like me, count yourself lucky — we have something to look forward to!
HOMECOMING
Anyone who’s spent the last few weeks getting a little too familiar with Lau’s “basement prison” interior design aesthetic, I’m with you. School sucks.
But you know what doesn’t suck? NOT spending time in Lau. Preferably, at the “football game” known as Homecoming.
When you see your friend at a party and go in for a hug but you both just fall down.
“HoCo,” as they call it at schools with football stadiums rather than bleachers, is like Christmas — it only comes once a year. So, if you find yourself being a little too ~heavy-handed~ on Saturday, don’t fear. We’ve got you.
*Plz* keep reading for a list of 4E’s top recommendations for what to do once you inevitably crash on Homecoming.
NOTE: These guidelines are ONLY for the 21+ Hoyas out there! Make good choices, kids!
Food
When hunger strikes after a long day of partying, the consequences can be disastrous. Smart Hoyas know that in order to avoid situations like these, one must come prepared. Please whip out your phones and input the following information into your speed dial:
Domino’s: (202) 342-0100
Mai Thai: (202) 337-2424
Wingo’s (RIP, but they still deliver from their new location): (202) 338-2478
Fire up your UberEats. Make a trip to Safeway and stock up on snacks. By all means, do whatever you need to do to keep your friends from being torn apart by their conflicting, relentless cravings.
God, Jan, no one else wants donuts. You’re the only one who wants donuts.
Pro Tip: A stroll to Chick-fil-a never (really) hurt nobody.
Film & Television
Homecoming is about indulgence. You could even call it Treat-Yo-Self Day. So, if you and your friends choose to settle down in front of a laptop screen after a long day of debauchery wholesome fun, try treating yourself to:
Also known as three hours of shirtless men (Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom … need I say more?) prancing around in togas, doing battle/sword stuff. The highest of entertainment.
Do you ever just crave a feel-good movie with inspiring messages about female empowerment, family traditions and love? This movie is soooooo underrated.
Nothing gets me in my feels like a good old HP marathon. Throw on your jammies, sip some butterbeer (hot cocoa works too) and prepare to be transported back to a magical land of childhood innocence that is far, far away from the ~activities~ you were engaging in just hours beforehand.
Me if anyone so much as mentions the words “Tito’s and lemonade”…
These are crowd-pleasers. Need I say more?
Miscellaneous Nonsense
If all else fails, there are only two things you can do:
Hit the books.
I wish I had recommendations for you, but I can’t remember the last time I read a non-YA book that I actually liked. Don’t underestimate the fun that can be had reading a book out loud to your friends, preferably upside-down/backwards while under the influence of really great writing.
Just lie down.
Floors are your friends. Show them some love this Saturday, whether you’re truly tired or want to protest against your friends for entering yet another sweaty Henle. This is the simplest, most cost-effective recommendation we at 4E could think of — 11/10 would recommend.
Thank you for sticking with me through this list of highly curated content. Have fun and be safe! ☺︎ hOyA sAxA ☺︎
