4E’s Recommendations for Awkward Holiday Questions

holiday dinnersHi honey! How’s school going? Do you have a major yet? What are you planning on doing with the rest of your life? What about this summer? Tell me a lot of very personal things about your personal life! Shall we discuss our conflicting political opinions in an emotionally-charged conversation while the turkey, ham or whatever else you have for holiday feasts cooks?

You love your fam and you love the holidays, but sometimes catching up with outspoken and unabashed Great-Aunt Martha leads to questions and conversations that you could do without. More importantly, time spent answering uncomfortable questions is time not spent eating the cornbread that your uncle only makes once a year.204

Here are some tips from 4E about how to respond to the familial assault of well-intentioned questions:

Dab

This is a good way to respond to just about any situation, but is particularly useful here. Many of your relatives may not understand (or fully appreciate) your artistic rendering of the iconic dance move. While they are momentarily overcome by confusion, you take the opportunity to hide under the dining room table. Foolproof.

Stop, drop and roll

There are so many hot takes coming your way that you are metaphorically on fire. Following the standard fire department-sanctioned procedure seems only appropriate and also allows you to inconspicuously escape the situation.

Take a big ‘ole bite of pumpkin pie

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And then another. Don’t stop eating pumpkin pie. Ever. The perk of this option is that we know you would be doing this anyway, so now you’re just multi-tasking. Can you say time-management skills?

Turn to Kermit the Frog

Quickly review the Kermit the Frog memes you have saved on your camera roll to try and remember what your subconscious might advise you to do in situations such as this one.

Happy Holidays, Hoyas!! 4E is grateful for you wonderful people (and your blog views). Eat a lot of food, enjoy your family and remember to leave your textbooks at home! We’ll see you in Lau when you get back for another lovely semester.

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Guide To Black Friday Shopping

Banner - Black FridayThe holiday season is right around the corner. Soon you’ll be sprawled about on a couch, wondering how it is humanly possible to still be alive after eating that much food. Soon after, you’ll be hit with a harsh dose of reality: you still haven’t bought any gifts for your friends and family. While this can be stressful, Black Friday, your last opportunity to get the best deals, can be even more stressful. 4E can make Black Friday the best Friday of the year with just several simple steps:

  1. Sleep late. If you’re going to be running around all day, you’re going to need a lot of energy. Eating so much yesterday probably took a lot out of you, so you’ll need some extra Z’s to feel refreshed.
  2. Wear a ski mask. You definitely don’t want to run into any of your high school ~friends~ when back in the home town. A nice ski mask will prevent awkward encounters and also keep you warm (darker colors = more sunlight absorbed)!
  3. Lie on the ground in front of Wal-Mart. In order to get the most incredible deals, like a refurbished low-grade tv that hopefully works for FREE, you’ll need to stake out your territory. Sprawling out across the ground is the best way to fend people off.
  4. Drive aggressively in the parking lot. There’s no hope in ever being able to find a parking spot if you’re not really willing to go for it at any cost. Reckless driving gets you a ticket, aggressive driving doesn’t.
  5. Don’t ask for help. You really can’t trust anyone. Everyone else vying for those clothes doesn’t care about you: not the store employees, not your friends, not even your family. Go it alone and don’t tell anyone your plans if you know what’s good for you.

    Trust NOBODY when it looks like this!

In the end, there’s always Cyber Monday. Happy shopping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, telegraph.co.uk

Thanksgiving FAQs

thanksgiving faqsIf you’re anything like us, you’re probably #hyped to be heading home for Thanksgiving. This is the perfect time to sleep in, eat some home-cooked meals and try not to think about how you’ll be back to eating Pringles out of the vending machine on Lau 2 at 3 AM in a few weeks.

But most of all, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up with your family. To make sure your dinner table conversations with your relatives go as smoothly as possible, we’ve prepared some helpful Do’s and Don’ts for answering those fun Thanksgiving FAQs:

1. “So, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Do: Laugh casually and say something along the lines of “I’m too focused on my schoolwork to have time for a girlfriend” as you try not to think about the fact that you’re supposed to submit an essay you haven’t started yet by midnight.

Don’t: Mention the guy you met on the Vil A rooftop on Halloween. Don’t mention the guy from that Henle party the weekend before either.

2. “How about that election?”

Do: Change the topic as quickly as humanly possible. “Grandma, have you seen these hilarious Joe Biden memes?”

Don’t: Ask your relatives who they voted for. There’s a good chance that those of you in Wisconsin, Michigan, and/or Pennsylvania won’t like their answer.

Don’t: Think about the next four years. Your crippling anxiety is sure to put a damper on dinner.

3. “Are you eating/sleeping well?”

Don’t: Mention that you ran out of Flex Dollars two weeks into the semester and have resorted to signing up for clubs that you have no interest in for the sole purpose of getting free pizza at their meetings.

Don’t: Draw attention to the fact that you’ve gained the Freshman 15 despite the fact that you’re a junior.

Do: Say “O’Donovan’s at the Waterfront is an enjoyable and delicious dining experience. I frequently eat things other than chicken fingers there.” and “The fourth floor of New South is a quiet and relaxing place to sleep. Our RA does a great job of enforcing the noise rules.”

4. “How are classes?”

Do: Throw around some complicated-sounding buzzwords you’ve picked up from your IR class. “Hegemonic stability theory” and “Neoliberalist perspective” are two of my personal favorites. This is a great way to reassure your parents that you’re actually learning things and your tuition is money well spent.

Don’t: Mention that you haven’t actually gone to IR lecture in weeks and you’re less than 60% sure of what your TA’s name is.

5. “What’s a Hoya?”

Don’t: Worry about the fact that it’s been three years and you still don’t have a good answer.

Do: Just say any random sentence that combines the words “Stonewall” “Latin” “Greek” “a long time ago” and “Jack the Bulldog”.

So there you have it: some simple Do’s and Don’ts to make sure your Thanksgiving is a great one. From all of us here at 4E, safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gifs: giphy.com

Thanksgiving Pro-Tips

thanksgiving pro tips

It’s about that time again….FOOODD!!!!

…and, you know, spending time with family and giving thanks, I guess. With all the anticipation that comes with Thanksgiving dinner, you may forget the other things you have to deal with on this holiday. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a list of pro-tips that’ll help you through this Thanksgiving.

1. Simultaneously make yourself two plates of food so your lazy future self doesn’t have to get up for seconds.

2. Continually whisper shady things about the desserts so that no one feels compelled to eat them except you. Let your family members know that “these desserts look super expired” or “I licked the entire pumpkin pie before this”.

3. Wear sweatpants, festive pajamas, or a loose-fitting outfit to dinner. Comfy-casual is essential…something that says, “I’m dressing formally to respect my family, but I also want to be comfortable when I gain 10 pounds”.

4. To avoid college questions from extended family members, simply stare at them as if you heard nothing. If they persist, promptly crawl under the table and assume the fetal position. It’ll throw them off for sure!

5. Bring a flask and make a Thanksgiving drinking game for you and your favorite sibling. Not only will it make the food better, but you can drown out the humdrum details of your little cousin’s 4th grade classes, too!

6. Dress your dog up like a turkey so you can laugh and distract yourself when that crazy extended family member starts one of their offensive rants again.

7. If you feel threatened by the appetites of others, steal a large piece of turkey and keep it in your pocket for later.

8. If a family member asks you your position on politics, fear not. Just divert their attention by hurling the bowl of mashed potatoes at the wall and reporting that you had seen a spider.

9. Finally, when asked to help cook the meal, gracefully explain that you have broken both your hands and are physically unable to contribute. Take your lie to the max by wrapping your hands in gauze and telling everyone you “wrote too many essays at school” and that your professors have “physically and mentally exhausted you”. Works every time!

Happy Turkey Day Hoyas!

Images: www.giphy.com, www.salon.com

Travel Hacks for Thanksgiving

travel hacks 2The time has come. We finally get to go home! But don’t get too excited just yet. Before we leave the Georgetown bubble and arrive at our cozy beds and clean/functional showers, we have to account for that trip home. Whether it’s a plane, train, bus, or car ride home, here are some hacks to make the trip a little more comfortable.

  1. Take a blanket with you. Yes. From what I’ve learned on my Amtrak rides home is that it can get pretty cold. I’m not saying pack your whole twin-sized, puffy blanket from your dorm, but a thin one to make sleeping during the trip a little easier.
  2. Pack your earphones/headphones with a fully charged phone. While you’re still on campus, connect to the wifi and download all your songs on Spotify before you go. This way, you can go on airplane mode on the trip, save your battery, and still be able to listen to everything you’ve recently saved in your library. You’re going to need it when that one baby starts crying and ruins it for everyone.
  3. Pack snacks. Go to Hoya Snaxa, Vittles, CVS, wherever. Purchase your granola bars, bananas, candy, and whatever else to keep you comfortable for a couple hours.
  4. Wear layers. If it’s too hot, you can take off your sweater with a shirt underneath. Don’t put the extra layer in your suitcase that’s overhead, but wear it or put in your backpack for easy access.
  5. Wear a baseball hat. Now this one may seem questionable at first. But do it. At one point or another on the trip, you’re going to get tired–and the lights may still be bright on your plane/train/bus. You can’t bust out a sleeping mask, so use your hat. This has saved me on my trips. Tip your hat over your face and now you can rest in peace and in the dark.
  6. If you’re not the type who can handle listening to music for a couple hours straight, download some movies on your laptop before you go.
  7. This is the crucial tip. If you want to be productive on your trip home, make sure you plan ahead. Most transportation methods don’t provide free wifi. That means download all your assignments from Blackboard and load your online articles before hand. This way, you can still work on your assignment without an internet source.
  8. Last but not least, dress comfortably. Whether that means wearing leggings or sweatpants instead of jeans, slip-ons instead of sneakers, t-shirts instead of button-ups–be sure you can endure sitting in your chosen outfit for a couple of hours. 

That’s it, folks! Happy almost Turkey Day! :)

Gifs: giphy.com

The 4E Guide To Friendsgiving

Banner - FriendsThanksgiving is coming up, which means that every foodie’s favorite holiday is almost here! In the great (slightly reworded) saying of Regina George “Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when every foodie can eat anything they want and nobody can judge them for it.” So, if Thanksgiving is the best day of the year, Friendsgiving is the pregame. We at 4E are going to tell you how to have the best one yet:

  1. Wear elastic pants.

Friendsgiving is practice for Thanksgiving. Eat as much as you want and practice not getting a food coma! Bonus points if they’re Thanksgiving themed ones!

2. Have EVERYONE bring something.

If you’ve been the dorm mom this semester (if you don’t think there’s a dorm mom it’s definitely you), you’ve probably been cooking quite frequently. Take a break and make everyone else bring the food! Even if it’s the worst food you’ve ever had, at least it’s practice for when Aunt Sally makes the worst pumpkin pie you’ve ever had!

3. Ask the tough questions.

Friendsgiving is great practice for explaining everything that you never wanted your relatives to know! Everything is fair game! Why not practice escaping with your friends?

4. Find something to be thankful for.

A heartfelt thank you that makes everyone at your table shed tears is the best kind of brownie points for mom and dad. Jack, John Carroll, that C on your IR midterm, just pick something beautiful!

Have a happy Friendsgiving and an even better Thanksgiving next week. However your Thanksgiving is, remember to make it classy!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, partycity.com

Alternatives to Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row

Alternatives to Embassy Row

Every year, hundreds of college kids flock to Massachusetts Avenue to participate in the annual tradition of Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row. If you’ve never been, it’s a great opportunity to sit extremely close to a stranger on the DuPont GUTS bus, meet students from your fellow DC Universities (“Oh… so you go to…GW?) and maybe even score some free shots of Smirnoff that the Russian Embassy ~supposedly~ hands out (they don’t).

But for those of you looking to spice it up and try something different this year, here are some of 4E’s alternative suggestions for places you should add to your Trick-or-Treating Route.

The Common Room on Any Floor of New South.
There is probably (possibly?) something edible in the refrigerator that you can add to your bag of goodies. Stop by and relive all those great Freshman year memories while you’re at it!

Any Corp Coffee Location.
They probably won’t give you free coffee or pastries if you just go to the register and say Trick-or-Treat, but you can definitely still score some sweets by helping yourself to some of their delicious free packets of sugar and Splenda.

Brown House.
Bang on the door until someone answers! Offer to help clean up the house and you’ll be sure to find some pieces of gum or the remains of an Epi Quesadilla that someone left on the floor from the party last weekend.

Your Professors’ Office Hours.
If you pay a visit to your Professor and immediately start uncontrollably crying about how you failed your last midterm, there’s a chance they might try to calm you down by offering you whatever food they have lying around their office.

John Kerry’s House.
Just go knock! The Secret Service agents will definitely not have a problem with this. Just be sure to have some light conversational topics on hand to chat about for when The Secretary of State opens the door to give you some candy, such as the 2004 election or the Iran Nuclear Deal.

But actually, you WILL be tackled by Secret Service.

We hope that you find these Trick-or-Treating alternatives helpful. Happy #Halloweekend from your fav blog!

Images: giphy.com, https://bit.ly/2fkeawa

So You Need A Halloween Costume?

Banner - CostumesWe’re almost two weeks out from Halloween, and even though we’ve been celebrating and talking about it since mid-April, it’s actually time to get ~serious~. If there’s one thing we all know for sure, it’s that Halloween isn’t so much about having fun as it is about getting a new killer cover photo or breaking 200 likes on your Instagram pic. With the help of 4E, you have four solid, not totally atrocious nor totally basic costumes to choose from. Better yet, they’re all tailored to Georgetown, so it reduces the likelihood that that one person you hate from your high school will be wearing the same costume as you. With one of these bad boys on, we wager you might even break, like, 300 likes.

 

1. John Carroll (Statue)

statue-of-john-carroll-founder-of-georgetown-university-washington-dc

To start off this list we have a Georgetown classic: the John Carroll statue. I’m tailoring this costume to specifically refer to the statue because I don’t know what John Carroll looks like in non-statue-form, and neither do you. Anyways, this one is great because you can decide how far you want to go with it, you can keep it simple and wear a long sleeve shirt and wrap a sheet around your lower half or you can go all the way to statue-mime-street-artist.

This costume will also buy you at least like 15-20 minutes of good, solid attention at any party you walk into, and once everyone is over it, just saunter right on to the next party.

*Sexy “John Carroll”: for girls this just means making the skirt shorter. For guys, no need for a sexy upgrade: the freshman girls will already be crawling up on you to take pictures with you. I mean, that’s what the John Carroll statue was intended for, right?

2. MSBro

Screen Shot 2016-10-12 at 11.51.37 AM

Does this one even need explaining? The multiple layers of polos (extra points for Vineyard Vines brand) are both warm and super stylish, the rest are lifestyle choices if you truly want to commit to the character. Alternatives include a SigEp shirt or even a Goldman Sachs zip-up you got from your internship over the summer. Both are great options.

Pursue this costume with reckless inhibition. Who cares that Halloween is on a Monday? You weren’t going to go to class anyways!

3. Jack the Bulldog

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A potential downside to this costume is that for the ladies, it may be slightly more difficult to stand out among the abyss of other animal-eared gals, especially when being a cat for Halloween is basically the same thing as wearing Stan Smith’s on campus…we’ve all done it and we’re all guilty. But whatever–the upside to this costume is that, like most animal-themed costumes, it’s really easy to make this sexy.

Dog ears + Georgetown crop top and maybe even some dog face paint (if you’re willing to try out that Instagram DIY against your better judgement) = perfect five minute costume and you’re not even going to have to use the snapchat dog filter all night!

Seriously, don’t use the dog filter with this costume, its too meta and you’ll probably end up looking something like:

 

4. Chesapeake Babe

Screen Shot 2016-10-11 at 9.42.58 PM

This is every Georgetown girl’s last minute costume. Just throw on your Lilly Pulitzer shift dress, Jack Rogers (obviously the gold ones), navy LongChamp (all which should have been included in your welcome package) and you’re good to go. Oh, and for the hair, just take the two pieces around your face and clip those bad boys together in the back. Bonus points: bring a Martha’s Vineyard windbreak in case, like, it gets chilly.

Sexy version: Try a two piece Lilly set; some of the skirts are seriously short and you can always throw on a monogram necklace or some Cartier love bracelets to spice things up.

Enjoy every moment because this is the one night in the Georgetown/DC area that you could stand out wearing any combination of these items.

Show up to the party with a few of your friends and start talking about Nantucket and how Exeter parties were so much better than the ones here:

If you don’t have something to wear yet, then you def need to get yourself together and take one of our suggestions. Don’t be too picky or you’ll end up wearing some stupid banana suit you got from a friend-of-a-friend under some bed in New South. Beggars can’t be choosers and these next two weeks are crunch time.

And in case you thought you finally found a Halloween-related post without a Mean Girls reference or gif: SURPRISE! Happy Hoyaween!

Photos/Gifs: pinterest.com, huffingtonpost.com, wikipedia.com, lilypulitzer.com, iwalk-free.com

8 Steps to Aggressively Embrace the Fall Season

8 Steps to Fall

As we find ourselves in the midst of fall, it’s extremely hard to contain the excitement. Show everyone you love the fall season by following these 8 easy steps! Because 4E freaking loves the fall.

1. Gather leaves

No one will believe you love fall unless you show them! Grab some leaves from the ground, shove them in your backpack, and sprinkle them around your classrooms and residential halls to spread the fall love.

2. Chug a pumpkin spice latte and carry another around everywhere

Fall is never complete without letting everyone know you are obsessed with a mediocre drink! Also, take a pro tip from us: spill a little of your pumpkin spice latte on your shirt so people will ask about it! When they do, just remember to flash a big smile and say “Haha! Oh, it must be my pumpkin spice latte! It’s gotta be fall, AM I RIGHT?!” They’ll love it!

3. Clutter your every source of social media with pumpkin patch pictures

tumblr_inline_ne6rx2hAi11qzj4kc Instagram? Facebook? A text to your grandma? All of the above! And don’t forget to print a ton and hand them out to your friends so they know you LOVE pumpkins.

4. Bombard your refrigerator with apple cider

You’re not super into fall season if you don’t drink at least 30 gallons of apple cider! I always drink mine in a pumpkin-inspired “I LOVE FALL” mug! It always pulls everything together.

5. Bundle up!

If it’s not a Snuggie, make sure to wear a scarf, sweater, and brown boots EVERY DAY! Even if you get tired of it, make sure to stick to these items until the end of fall!

6. Pick a ton of apples and tell everyone about the experience

 All your buddies should know that you are jazzed about apple picking –  it’s all part of the seasonal festivities!

7. Call it ~autumn~

 Autumn sounds super fancy, so people will definitely be able to tell you appreciate it. You can be just like this girl, who doesn’t care that a leaf has fallen on her face!

8. Sit in a pile of leaves for a couple of hours 

 In my experience, people have approached me with some concerns as to how long I’ve admired the leaves. Don’t worry about these people – they probably prefer summer, or something crazy like that!

The fall season is only a limited amount of time, so aggressively enjoy it while you can!

Images: giphy.com, https://bit.ly/2dBmyGl

25 Reasons Epi is the New Tombs this Summer

Epi Is New Tombs this summer

A momentous and unruly Georgetown tradition has been forever changed. Well, for the summer, at least. The Tombs has officially closed for renovations and with it many a 21st birthdays, forehead stamps, and traditions suspended until further notice. For many Hoyas, alum, and locals alike, this is an utter tragedy. The night so many have looked forward to, counted down, and dreamed about has been flipped on its head. Left in despair, many of those may be wondering what ever will they do?!

 

EPI!!!!

Here are your 25 reasons Epi is the new Tombs this summer:

1. Quesadillas. ‘Nuf said. 

2. Doctors. They have a tendency to be young, attractive, and scattered around Epi given its close proximity to their place of employment at the hospital.

3. $3.25 pizza. Mhmmm. 

4. The lighting. It’s a bit bright in the main area, but the dark bar provides a nice fun contrast. 

5. The dance floor. What, you didn’t know they had one? Turns out the opening between the two rooms is a great place to break it down. 

6. The diversity. Undergrads, grad students, drunk freshman, hospital staff, and Georgetown staff: it’s really just a great array of community. 

7. The playlist. Epi has jamz! 

 

8. The Darnall geotag. That is all. 

9. The hospital. You should never drink past your limit, but on your 21st, there is an even greater tendency for a person to seek medical attention. For this reason, there’s nothing better than a bar that shares a parking lot with a hospital!

10. Burleith. Two words: close proximity. 

11. Epi mems. You’re sure to have a ton. Why not add to the archival of weird Epi happenings thus far?

12. Drunk underclassman. They’re great to watch, truly. 

13. Free water. >>>>>.

 

14. Exclusive bar. Feel special in your own 21+ room while your underage friends stay close by.

15. Tombs is closed. NEXT! 

16. Epi has milkshakes.

17. And condiments. A vast and endless selection of condiments. 

18. Those round tables. Nothing says party like a circular table where you can sit and view all of your friends, and the other room only has rectangular tables. 

19. Underage friends. No longer must they mourn your departure at the door, but they can be at hand to help you walk and take part in your debauchery (well, from afar). 

20. Sushi bar. 

21. Henle. Proximity, proximity, proximity. 

22. Epi aesthetic. It’s just one of a kind. 

23. People watching. More of the above. 

24. You can customize your grilled cheese sandwich.

25. Epi rocks. Let’s be honest: It’s up there with The Tombs. Well, at least in the opinion of an underage person who has never been.

Alas, there’s just one small catch….

 

Epi closes at 10:30 during the summer. Didn’t we almost have it all?

Gifs: giphy.com, https://www.thehoya.com