4E’s Guide on How NOT to Repeat 2016

20162016 was one for the books…well a book we’d like to close, throw in the fire and watch burn. Yeah, 2016 may not have been the best but luckily, with the New Year, 4E is looking at the glass half full. We may have lost Harambe, our Democratic credibility as a nation and as of late, our beloved Princess Leia, but it’s time we put all of that in the past and concentrate on a better future. So, 4E has put together a quick guide on how to make 2017 a great year…and make sure 2016 will never be repeated.

Avoid anything having to do with the Kardashians.
Yes, I understand that the cover photo of this article stars Kim K, but can we just take a minute to discuss why the Kardashians should remain in 2016. Kim K was tied up by robbers in Paris, Kanye had a mental breakdown and then, met with President-elect Trump (I had so many questions but no answers) and Kylie’s lips only got bigger. Don’t even get me started on Blac Chyna and Rob. The Kardashian curse is a thing for a reason people!

The answer is no.
The answer is no.

Become more skeptical.
I am specifically addressing the recent hype and quick disappoint of the iPhone 7 release. I know Apple is always trying to be ahead of the curve, but Steve Jobs has to be rolling in his grave. Where did my headphone jack go and more importantly, where are these “AirPods” you have been promising? Apple, we were not and are still not ready for this, so with that, 4E advises you to become more skeptical when it comes to hype.

Spend less time on social media.
2016 seemed to be the biggest year for social media yet! While we may have stepped up our meme game, we also spent wayyyyy too much time scrolling through our Snapchats, Instas, Facebooks and Twitters. The whole thing can get quite exhausting. I also can’t handle one more Harambe post, it just hits too close to the heart.

Stop dabbing.
This 2016 ritual should stay in 2016. I’m not usually superstitious, but I believe that the whole dabbing thing brings some bad mojo. So, please…let’s just not.

While this past year has been getting many negative reviews, it is important that we remember all of the wonderful things 2016 has given us. 2016 gave us more Netflix hits (Stranger Things!), more memes and more Pokémon. But let’s be real, we are so happy it’s over!
Happy 2017 Hoyas!

Images: giphy.com, buzzfeed.com

How To Throw A Holiday Party As Told By Michael Scott

how to throw a holiday party

It’s that time of year again. A time when you need to choose between spending more time perfecting that final paper or perfecting that hilarious Secret Santa gift. While it may be difficult to manage it all, 4E is here to help you make this season a bit less stressful. Here are five tips on how you can throw the perfect Christmas/Holiday party. Oh, and we got a little help from our old friend, Michael Scott.

  1. Give your holiday party a theme.

    It’s Santa Bond.
  2. Decorate. Decorate. Decorate. 
  3. Get the proper libations (if you’re 21 of course) or drinks to get the party started. 
  4. Take your Secret Santa to the next level. 
  5. Make sure you have proper holiday music to continue the party! 

While it may be daunting to throw a holiday party during this hectic time, we hope that our five tips give you the boost you need. And let’s just take a minute to remember why we are celebrating in the first place.

World’s Best Boss

Images: giphy.com, https://theofficescreenshots.tumblr.com/page/6

4E’s Guide To Black Friday Shopping

Banner - Black FridayThe holiday season is right around the corner. Soon you’ll be sprawled about on a couch, wondering how it is humanly possible to still be alive after eating that much food. Soon after, you’ll be hit with a harsh dose of reality: you still haven’t bought any gifts for your friends and family. While this can be stressful, Black Friday, your last opportunity to get the best deals, can be even more stressful. 4E can make Black Friday the best Friday of the year with just several simple steps:

  1. Sleep late. If you’re going to be running around all day, you’re going to need a lot of energy. Eating so much yesterday probably took a lot out of you, so you’ll need some extra Z’s to feel refreshed.
  2. Wear a ski mask. You definitely don’t want to run into any of your high school ~friends~ when back in the home town. A nice ski mask will prevent awkward encounters and also keep you warm (darker colors = more sunlight absorbed)!
  3. Lie on the ground in front of Wal-Mart. In order to get the most incredible deals, like a refurbished low-grade tv that hopefully works for FREE, you’ll need to stake out your territory. Sprawling out across the ground is the best way to fend people off.
  4. Drive aggressively in the parking lot. There’s no hope in ever being able to find a parking spot if you’re not really willing to go for it at any cost. Reckless driving gets you a ticket, aggressive driving doesn’t.
  5. Don’t ask for help. You really can’t trust anyone. Everyone else vying for those clothes doesn’t care about you: not the store employees, not your friends, not even your family. Go it alone and don’t tell anyone your plans if you know what’s good for you.

    Trust NOBODY when it looks like this!

In the end, there’s always Cyber Monday. Happy shopping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, telegraph.co.uk

Thanksgiving FAQs

thanksgiving faqsIf you’re anything like us, you’re probably #hyped to be heading home for Thanksgiving. This is the perfect time to sleep in, eat some home-cooked meals and try not to think about how you’ll be back to eating Pringles out of the vending machine on Lau 2 at 3 AM in a few weeks.

But most of all, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up with your family. To make sure your dinner table conversations with your relatives go as smoothly as possible, we’ve prepared some helpful Do’s and Don’ts for answering those fun Thanksgiving FAQs:

1. “So, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Do: Laugh casually and say something along the lines of “I’m too focused on my schoolwork to have time for a girlfriend” as you try not to think about the fact that you’re supposed to submit an essay you haven’t started yet by midnight.

Don’t: Mention the guy you met on the Vil A rooftop on Halloween. Don’t mention the guy from that Henle party the weekend before either.

2. “How about that election?”

Do: Change the topic as quickly as humanly possible. “Grandma, have you seen these hilarious Joe Biden memes?”

Don’t: Ask your relatives who they voted for. There’s a good chance that those of you in Wisconsin, Michigan, and/or Pennsylvania won’t like their answer.

Don’t: Think about the next four years. Your crippling anxiety is sure to put a damper on dinner.

3. “Are you eating/sleeping well?”

Don’t: Mention that you ran out of Flex Dollars two weeks into the semester and have resorted to signing up for clubs that you have no interest in for the sole purpose of getting free pizza at their meetings.

Don’t: Draw attention to the fact that you’ve gained the Freshman 15 despite the fact that you’re a junior.

Do: Say “O’Donovan’s at the Waterfront is an enjoyable and delicious dining experience. I frequently eat things other than chicken fingers there.” and “The fourth floor of New South is a quiet and relaxing place to sleep. Our RA does a great job of enforcing the noise rules.”

4. “How are classes?”

Do: Throw around some complicated-sounding buzzwords you’ve picked up from your IR class. “Hegemonic stability theory” and “Neoliberalist perspective” are two of my personal favorites. This is a great way to reassure your parents that you’re actually learning things and your tuition is money well spent.

Don’t: Mention that you haven’t actually gone to IR lecture in weeks and you’re less than 60% sure of what your TA’s name is.

5. “What’s a Hoya?”

Don’t: Worry about the fact that it’s been three years and you still don’t have a good answer.

Do: Just say any random sentence that combines the words “Stonewall” “Latin” “Greek” “a long time ago” and “Jack the Bulldog”.

So there you have it: some simple Do’s and Don’ts to make sure your Thanksgiving is a great one. From all of us here at 4E, safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gifs: giphy.com

Thanksgiving Pro-Tips

thanksgiving pro tips

It’s about that time again….FOOODD!!!!

…and, you know, spending time with family and giving thanks, I guess. With all the anticipation that comes with Thanksgiving dinner, you may forget the other things you have to deal with on this holiday. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a list of pro-tips that’ll help you through this Thanksgiving.

1. Simultaneously make yourself two plates of food so your lazy future self doesn’t have to get up for seconds.

2. Continually whisper shady things about the desserts so that no one feels compelled to eat them except you. Let your family members know that “these desserts look super expired” or “I licked the entire pumpkin pie before this”.

3. Wear sweatpants, festive pajamas, or a loose-fitting outfit to dinner. Comfy-casual is essential…something that says, “I’m dressing formally to respect my family, but I also want to be comfortable when I gain 10 pounds”.

4. To avoid college questions from extended family members, simply stare at them as if you heard nothing. If they persist, promptly crawl under the table and assume the fetal position. It’ll throw them off for sure!

5. Bring a flask and make a Thanksgiving drinking game for you and your favorite sibling. Not only will it make the food better, but you can drown out the humdrum details of your little cousin’s 4th grade classes, too!

6. Dress your dog up like a turkey so you can laugh and distract yourself when that crazy extended family member starts one of their offensive rants again.

7. If you feel threatened by the appetites of others, steal a large piece of turkey and keep it in your pocket for later.

8. If a family member asks you your position on politics, fear not. Just divert their attention by hurling the bowl of mashed potatoes at the wall and reporting that you had seen a spider.

9. Finally, when asked to help cook the meal, gracefully explain that you have broken both your hands and are physically unable to contribute. Take your lie to the max by wrapping your hands in gauze and telling everyone you “wrote too many essays at school” and that your professors have “physically and mentally exhausted you”. Works every time!

Happy Turkey Day Hoyas!

Images: www.giphy.com, www.salon.com

Travel Hacks for Thanksgiving

travel hacks 2The time has come. We finally get to go home! But don’t get too excited just yet. Before we leave the Georgetown bubble and arrive at our cozy beds and clean/functional showers, we have to account for that trip home. Whether it’s a plane, train, bus, or car ride home, here are some hacks to make the trip a little more comfortable.

  1. Take a blanket with you. Yes. From what I’ve learned on my Amtrak rides home is that it can get pretty cold. I’m not saying pack your whole twin-sized, puffy blanket from your dorm, but a thin one to make sleeping during the trip a little easier.
  2. Pack your earphones/headphones with a fully charged phone. While you’re still on campus, connect to the wifi and download all your songs on Spotify before you go. This way, you can go on airplane mode on the trip, save your battery, and still be able to listen to everything you’ve recently saved in your library. You’re going to need it when that one baby starts crying and ruins it for everyone.
  3. Pack snacks. Go to Hoya Snaxa, Vittles, CVS, wherever. Purchase your granola bars, bananas, candy, and whatever else to keep you comfortable for a couple hours.
  4. Wear layers. If it’s too hot, you can take off your sweater with a shirt underneath. Don’t put the extra layer in your suitcase that’s overhead, but wear it or put in your backpack for easy access.
  5. Wear a baseball hat. Now this one may seem questionable at first. But do it. At one point or another on the trip, you’re going to get tired–and the lights may still be bright on your plane/train/bus. You can’t bust out a sleeping mask, so use your hat. This has saved me on my trips. Tip your hat over your face and now you can rest in peace and in the dark.
  6. If you’re not the type who can handle listening to music for a couple hours straight, download some movies on your laptop before you go.
  7. This is the crucial tip. If you want to be productive on your trip home, make sure you plan ahead. Most transportation methods don’t provide free wifi. That means download all your assignments from Blackboard and load your online articles before hand. This way, you can still work on your assignment without an internet source.
  8. Last but not least, dress comfortably. Whether that means wearing leggings or sweatpants instead of jeans, slip-ons instead of sneakers, t-shirts instead of button-ups–be sure you can endure sitting in your chosen outfit for a couple of hours. 

That’s it, folks! Happy almost Turkey Day! :)

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Fall Fashion Preview 2016

Banner - Fall FashionWe at The Fourth Edition take our look quite seriously. As I’m sure you saw, The Hoya released it’s Fall Fashion preview November 4th. As we were so inspired by The Hoya‘s theme of “Forever Young,” we pulled a copy cat move; not “Forever Young” but “Forever Free to Be Me.” Check it out:

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Meet our models.

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Sarah Reuter, Smolder Queen
Laura Bell, hipster Elle Woods
Laura Bell, Hipster Elle Woods
Caroline Bucca, stargazer
Caroline Bucca, Stargazer
Joseph O'Reilly, fuzzy wuzzy
Joseph O’Reilly, Fuzzy Wuzzy
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Meg Lizza, Editor Extraordinaire
Meg Lizza, Executive Editor Extraordinaire

Reuter, our resident fortune teller, correctly predicted that 2016 would conclude looking eerily like 1994. Here’s her take on recycling fashion trends.

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O’Reilly, Fritz, and Bucca took a natural approach to our shoot.

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Yeezy? You frontin’? What?

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Safari on campus: Searching for the chill.

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Update: Chill located.

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Peace & Blessings.

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Please stop scrolling.

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Told you.

Photos: Alessandra Puccio, mashable.com

Fifty Shades of Gray: A Campus Sweatshirt Analysis

Banner - sweatshirts

Fall is upon us. It is time for overpriced seasonal lattes, never-ending weeks of midterms and long nights in Lau. It’s time to unpack sensible footwear, time for facilities to (finally) turn on the heat setting in the dorms and time to unpack your sweatshirts. If you have attended one or more educational institutions, been on a sports team (were you a varsity benchwarmer? JV legend? Intramural MVP?) or attended a few club meetings (for an organization with an acronym that you may or may not have understood), a fair share of gear order forms have passed through your hands as you have built your formidable sweatshirt collection. You own hoodies, quarter-zips and crew necks, in various shades of grey, gray, “sport grey,” “dark heather” and “ash,” all of which boast emblems and acronyms advertising your affiliation to something to us sleep-deprived, sweatshirt-clad college students in your midst.

Here is 4E’s analysis of a few popular types of sweatshirts seen on the Hilltop:

Sweatshirts with an acronym ending in “H.S.”
This sweatshirt may as well be emblazoned with “FRESHMAN” in glowing letters. High school paraphernalia should remain crammed in the bottom of your childhood dresser along with your participation certificates, retainer case, homecoming corsages, SAT practice tests, Common App essay and other evidence of your time spent amidst hormonal, angsty teenagers in locker-lined hallways that 4E sincerely hopes you’ve left at home.

Collegiate gear from a school that is not Georgetown
Reasons to wear gear from another school: You have a good friend, S.O., sibling or parent that goes or went to this school. Maybe this was a birthday present and you are in no position to pass up the addition to your sweatshirt collection.

Reasons not to wear: You toured, applied to and were waitlisted by Harvard, but you payed $50 for a crimson sweatshirt that serves as a nice reminder of your narrowly avoided time on the yard. Or, you applied to and got into some school, and of course bought a sweatshirt, and being the intelligent annoying person that you are, are now trying to intimidate your classmates.

#3

Georgetown Gear
Woohoo!! The most prevalent colors in your wardrobe are slowly but surely becoming blue and gray!! The small percentage of money that you didn’t spend at the bookstore on textbooks you are now spending at the bookstore on clothing items that say “Georgetown” or “Hoyas” or “1789” or “I Heart John Carroll”!! Additionally, if you’re in a club and don’t have a sweatshirt with the aforementioned club’s name on it, your membership in this club is up for debate, so yay for acronyms that start with “GU”!!

Patagonia
Alas! Who knew that staying on Lau 2 until 3am required a uniform? But, how do you signal that you are overworked, over-caffeinated and not getting enough sleep without dawning your multicolored patchwork of fleece? The unmistakable mountain silhouette logo in the corner of your pullover helpfully informs your peers that when you’re not stumbling between Lau, Leo’s and the ICC in a sleep-deprived stupor you would, of course, be found summiting a mountain, rock climbing or backpacking.

#4

Vineyard Vines
The effectiveness of combining an article of clothing frequently used as sleepwear with a basic classy brand remains yet to be determined. You are trying to appear stylish and sophisticated after spending entirely too much time in Lau and not enough under your Bed Bath and Beyond duvet, and I commend this effort.

#5

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, fairisleknit.com

Alternatives to Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row

Alternatives to Embassy Row

Every year, hundreds of college kids flock to Massachusetts Avenue to participate in the annual tradition of Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row. If you’ve never been, it’s a great opportunity to sit extremely close to a stranger on the DuPont GUTS bus, meet students from your fellow DC Universities (“Oh… so you go to…GW?) and maybe even score some free shots of Smirnoff that the Russian Embassy ~supposedly~ hands out (they don’t).

But for those of you looking to spice it up and try something different this year, here are some of 4E’s alternative suggestions for places you should add to your Trick-or-Treating Route.

The Common Room on Any Floor of New South.
There is probably (possibly?) something edible in the refrigerator that you can add to your bag of goodies. Stop by and relive all those great Freshman year memories while you’re at it!

Any Corp Coffee Location.
They probably won’t give you free coffee or pastries if you just go to the register and say Trick-or-Treat, but you can definitely still score some sweets by helping yourself to some of their delicious free packets of sugar and Splenda.

Brown House.
Bang on the door until someone answers! Offer to help clean up the house and you’ll be sure to find some pieces of gum or the remains of an Epi Quesadilla that someone left on the floor from the party last weekend.

Your Professors’ Office Hours.
If you pay a visit to your Professor and immediately start uncontrollably crying about how you failed your last midterm, there’s a chance they might try to calm you down by offering you whatever food they have lying around their office.

John Kerry’s House.
Just go knock! The Secret Service agents will definitely not have a problem with this. Just be sure to have some light conversational topics on hand to chat about for when The Secretary of State opens the door to give you some candy, such as the 2004 election or the Iran Nuclear Deal.

But actually, you WILL be tackled by Secret Service.

We hope that you find these Trick-or-Treating alternatives helpful. Happy #Halloweekend from your fav blog!

Images: giphy.com, https://bit.ly/2fkeawa

A Guide to Eating Alone at Leo’s

A guide to eating alone at leos

We’ve all been there. Nobody in the #squad group chat responds. You get a sudden hankering for Leo’s meat lover’s pizza that just can’t wait. It’s Chicken Finger Thursday and all your friends seem to have forgotten. Whatever the reason may be, nearly every Georgetown student has eaten at Leo’s alone at one point or another. 4E has already blogged about what may happen if you dine alone, but luckily for all you lonely souls out there, we have now composed the ultimate guide to help you survive this isolating experience.

1. Grab a table in the back

If you decide to brave a trip to Leo’s alone, make sure to grab a seat at a table near the back of the room that faces the window. This way you can avoid the judgmental, uncomfortable eye contact with that person from chemistry class you sorta know, but not well enough to sit down with them uninvited with all of his/her friends.

2. Look busy

Pull that phone, laptop, notebook, textbook, etc. out of your bag and make yourself look too busy and important to waste time socializing. Don’t have any homework to finish or friends to text? No problem. Pull up Microsoft paint or open up your notebook to a blank page and draw yourself a pretty picture to pass the time.

3. Pretend your friends are on the way

Feel like everyone thinks you have no friends? Grab an extra plate of food and place it at the seat across from you. Now everyone will think your friends are just using the bathroom or getting something more to eat. You sure fooled them.

Pro-tip: Reward yourself for your successful trickery by eating that extra plate of food at the end of your meal.

4. Pretend your friends are there with you

If you’re really feeling lonely, an easy solution is to bring cardboard cut outs of your friends, place them at seats around the table, and pretend as if nothing is different! Talk about your day, weekend plans, midterm stress, etc. because, after all…

So, the next time you make the trek to Leo’s alone and experience the irrational anxiety that comes from the nonexistent, judgmental looks of your more popular peers, keep in mind these handy dandy tips.

Images: giphy.com, https://bit.ly/2ebw8fR