The mixture of confidence, political-mindedness and neurosis within Georgetown men is a veritable Molotov cocktail of personality traits, which can be triggered to explode by both academic debate and debauched social gatherings.
Before you accuse me of misandry, a disclaimer: #NotAllMen.
Especially not Armie Hammer and his spectacular dance moves.
Some guys at Georgetown are absolute diamonds — ladies, if you find them, hold on tight. However, some Hoya boys (henceforth known as “Boyas”) are still in a little more of a “coal” phase.
Donald Trump attempting to dig up an alibi, 2017 (colorized).
Love them or hate them — and usually it’s a confusing mixture of both — Boyas are a group to watch.
Since 2018 is sure to be another year of, like, realizing stuff, please consult this guide to educate yourself on how to spot a Boya, both at a distance and up close.
Side note: Welcome to the world, Stormi!
Without further ado:
1. When he uses the Jesuit values to justify late-night booty calls.
2. If his room has a distinctly “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” aesthetic.
3. When he asks you for your NetID.
Okay, maybe you’re doing a group project together, but ladies, we all know what this guy wants. Sliding into your Gmail is the ~ultimate~ Boya move.
4. If every time you text him “what’s up?” he replies, “at Yates 💪🚨💯.”
5. If he wears his Patagucci like it’s a uniform.
6. When Chad is the name and ghosting is the game.
7. If his party attitude can best be described as “hit it and quit it.”
Mercury is entering retrograde. Are you ready? Find out below in 4E’s weekly horoscope.
It it is your time to shine, Aries. Although Mercury is entering retrograde, it won’t stop you in your zodiac season. This week you will embark on a treasure hunt of passion and connection. Be prepared this weekend, as the stars will align and someone special will enter your sphere of love!
Stubborn Taurus will run into trouble this week as Mercury will create interpersonal conflict with those you most care about. Try to endure and boast your strong skills in patience. This week may not be your best but fear not — good times are on the horizon.
Gemini, you have had a tough couple weeks, but it’s time to let loose and have some fun! Shed your nervous skin, as Mercury will usher in a new period of blooming friendships and romance for you. Keep an eye out for that special someone this Saturday!
Sensitive moon child, it is time to let go. You have not been able to shake the past, but retrograde marks a fresh start for you. Throw away your insecurities and suspicions; they only bring negative energy. Be social, work hard and have fun this weekend. A big surprise awaits you on Friday!
I hope your bags are packed, because this week commences a journey of spiritual and physical discovery. Take time to think about the past and envision the future you desire. Your stubborn, inflexible side will be challenged as retrograde presents some complications along the way, but such is life!
This week is all about you, Virgo! Take time for self care and personal reflection. This Thursday, you will be tempted to return to bad habits — be cautious. Your strength on Thursday will be rewarded on Saturday with a night of friendship.
Child of Venus! After months of reflection, it’s time to show everyone why you’re led by the goddess of beauty! If you’re confident and keep a positive attitude, you shall surely reap the rewards. This week’s retrograde will bring up feelings of the past. Be careful, Libra — dwelling for too long can revert all the progress you’ve made.
Control is key, Scorpio. With retrograde swirling your emotions into a frenzy for the next few weeks, you will need to keep your cool. This time of chaos can be difficult for you, as it disrupts routines. Just think positively, and keep those hotheaded emotions in check! I fear an emotional blowup ahead if you cannot keep the passion to a minimum.
Look forward to flexing those sociable skills, adventurous one! This week may be your time to shine, Sagittarius. Despite the retrograde, you stay strong in times of uncertainty. Embrace this radiating energy — others will find you irresistible, so be on the look our for similarly irresistible new partners. You will be successful in romantic endeavors.
Play time is over, Capricorn! After weeks of fun, you need to bring your focus back to self-betterment. Instead of painting the town red on a night out, Netflix and chill alone instead! With the communication chaos of this week’s upcoming retrograde, try mending your most important relationship — with yourself.
Be ready to be tested, Aquarius! As a sociable sign, I know it’s disappointing to hear there are academic and professional challenges ahead. Don’t expect any straight A’s or pay raises — you’ll have to put in work first. Stay grounded, and study up!
It is a bittersweet week, Pisces! The season of your sign is over. Keep note of your finances; after getting all that birthday money, you should spend it wisely. You’ve been a bit casual with your finances lately, and there’s no need to take this into the retrograde. Keep note of any other financial opportunities this week, Pisces.
Children of the universe, that’s all the stars have for us for now! See you next week!
St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend, which means it’s one of those rare times when Georgetown students finally have some fun. There’s nothing better than putting on that one green shirt you never wear and eating and drinking as much as you possibly can. But for those people who are tired of the traditional St. Paddy’s Day celebration, here are some ideas to spice up your party this weekend.
St. Natty’s Day
What combines St. Paddy’s Day and college more than having a party where you only drink Natty Lights? Who cares that it’s not an Irish beer? We’re in the United States anyway.
St. Fratty’s Day
Just pretend Georgetown has a large Greek life presence on campus and throw a frat party complete with beer pong, bros and backwards hats. So frat!
St. Daddy’s Day
This party can go two ways. You can throw down with everyone’s biological father or celebrate with your real ~daddy~ ;).
St. Caddy’s Day
Time to bring out the Vineyard Vines and polo shirts, and turn your Henle into Georgetown’s most lit and most exclusive country club.
St. Ratty’s Day
This one is for all the important rats in our lives. We can officially party in celebration of the Wisey’s Rat™. Chicken Madnesses for everyone!
Well Hoyas, it’s that time of year again: St. Patrick’s Day.
A day where we all come together to celebrate Irish culture, beer, the color green and, of course, the life of a great saint.
Prepare yourself using these steps and you too could have the best St. Paddy’s Day of your life.
Wear something green
Look through your closet. Look through your friends’ closets. Swing by TJ Maxx on your way home from yoga. Whatever you do, find something green to wear. Don’t be that one party-pooper who is not wearing green because he “doesn’t own anything green” or “couldn’t find anything.” You’ve had a whole year to prepare for this. When Saturday rolls around, those excuses just aren’t going to fly.
Brush up on your Saint Paddy’s Day history
Wait, who even is St. Patrick? Some random Irish dude? Something about snakes and four-leaf clovers? It’s probably been a while since you learned about St. Paddy in your second-grade CCD class. Take a few minutes to read St. Paddy’s wiki. Come Saturday, you’ll be able to bust out some knowledge that would impress even your 80-year-old Irish grandma.
Color your culinary palette
From green eggs and ham to green Jell-O shots, take this opportunity to add some festivity to your plate. With some green food dye and some Bailey’s, you can make anything magically delicious.
Work on some dance moves
You may not be able to win a World Irish Dance competition, but that shouldn’t stop you from busting some moves on the big day! Try looking up some tutorials on YouTube. You can even gather up some friends and choreograph a routine. Everybody loves a good Irish jig.
Practice your Irish accent
Watch a movie with Irish people in it (like the Disney Channel Original classic “The Luck of the Irish” for example). Practice your accent in front of the mirror, in front of your friends — even in front of your professors if you’re feeling bold. By the end of the week, no one will even be able to tell you’re not even a little bit Irish.
Set a leprechaun trap
Sort of like the mouse traps that are already under your bed, but this one might actually work! Take the necessary precautions and you too can sleep soundly knowing you won’t be the subject of any pranks, tom-foolery or practical jokes. All that s–t is for April, not March.
Take a chance on your luck
Go ahead! Shoot your shot! Send that risky text! St. Paddy’s day is the perfect time to see whether all that superstitious, four leaf clover, lucky charms stuff is true or not. If you’re lucky, you could end up with something way better than a pot of gold. If not, well…
Enjoy St. Paddy’s Day your way
As one of the greatest holidays, St. Paddy’s Day is all about having fun. On this day you can finally purge all those leftover emotions from Valentine’s Day, make the greatest spring break comeback of all time and really prep yourself for the last few weeks before summer. Whatever your plans, make sure you gather up all your friends and enjoy every second of your St. Paddy’s Day this year.
Sometimes people, places, things, my sense of humor, etc. just don’t get the love and attention they deserve. Excluding myself, here’s a list of what I think are the most underrated things of our generation.
What ever happened to Fergie? She didn’t go anywhere, but apparently we did. She has bangers for every occasion. Feeling emotional? “Big Girls Don’t Cry (Personal).” Feeling lit? “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” Feeling yourself? “Fergalicious.” Here’s to more Fergie in our lives.
The Jersey Shore
The Jersey Shore is one of the cornerstones of our generation. We have so much to thank it for. GTL (that is, gym tan laundry), fist bumping, Snooki, etc. are some of the figures of our generation that this show produced. As a New Jersey native, I am offended that my state gets a bad rep from this iconic tv show when it should, in fact, get the opposite.
Remember that boy in 2010 who ~broke the internet~ and captured every tween girl’s heart when he released his rendition of Lady GaGa’s “Paparazzi”? Well, you should because it was incredible. Greyson is all grown up, but he has not left us. He has some solid music out now (perhaps not as great as his debut though) and you should all give it a listen.
You may think Applebee’s is a just some chain restaurant you drive by on the highway, but it is so much more than that. The deals here are crazy. For readers over 21, of course, Applebee’s offers a $1 specialty drink every month. Drinks have ranged from Margaritas to Long Island Iced Teas to Bahama Mamas, the current special. I think it’s time for everyone to hit their local Applebee’s.
Most people don’t even know Lau 1 exists, but for those who do, you know what I am talking about. The cubicles are larger, the air is warmer and the community is stronger. The Lau 1 Regulars Club might actually be the most exclusive organization at Georgetown. AND I BELONG TO IT. Once you go Lau 1, you never go back.
Readers, be the change I want to see in the world and start giving these things the love and attention they deserve. You won’t be sorry.
The influential and notable entity of The Fourth Edition hereby declares a petition to end the epidemic of texting and walking (otherwise referred to as “twalking”) currently plaguing our beloved campus, indefinitely, commencing February 5th. There are myriad reasons you should consider joining our movement against “twalking”:
1. Basic human decency.
This should go without saying, but, if you need an authority figure to remind you why you shouldn’t text and walk, here you go:
2. Your safety.
Distracted mobility is dangerous. In 2016, the number of pedestrians killed by motorists because they were distracted jumped by 16 percent!
3. The environment.
The world is beautiful and, at the rate we are going, it may not be this way for long. It is crucial that you look at the grass and leaves while you can.
4. Public health.
Just going to leave this here for you…
Now, what to do if you catch a “twalker” in the act:
1. Walk directly in their line of movement.
They will either crash into you or correct their path while maybe becoming aware of their wrongdoing.
Did you know there is no law on the books against yelling? You can just do it whenever, wherever.
Alas, maybe you look at your phone as a coping mechanism for your social anxiety. Maybe you just like to irritate every other person walking in front of, beside or behind you. Don’t worry. You still have options.
If burying yourself in your phone makes you feel more comfortable as you move about the world, perhaps try a disguise. Sunglasses, big hats and scarves are all good options for avoiding people you know and staying hidden to people you don’t.
2. Disguise 2.0
Maybe you’re the opposite. You twalk because you like to be obnoxious. You could try this. People might actually enjoy it more than your distracted stumbles.
Or, if you’re looking for something a little more subtle, maybe try a mask.
Please join our movement and spread the word. Together we will create a safer world.
With just two weeks until the Cuffing Season Super Bowl on Feb. 14, we’re coming down to the playoff push. We here at 4E want to ensure we all make it through the end of the season unscathed, so we have advice for everyone, no matter how your season has gone so far. Let’s start with…
You’ve Got a Bae.
You’re firmly in a playoff spot this cuffing season. It would take a string of bad losses to fall out of this position. Now, you need to buckle down and focus. Continue to take it one game at a time: No forgetting date nights and no leaving them unseen. God help you if you lose your Snapstreak. You can almost taste the chocolate and smell the roses — just don’t mess it up.
You’ve Maybe Got a Bae.
At 4E we have a very simple mantra: DTR. You must — and we cannot stress this lesson enough — define the relationship. No team can make it to the Super Bowl without a set roster. It’s just impossible. This situation might take a couple texts; it might take an *adult* conversation.
You can’t take someone out to dinner on Feb. 14 as a friend — unless you want to. That’s actually totally cool. It’s 2018.
You Definitely Don’t Got a Bae.
Rarely would we ever advocate poor shot selection, but sometimes shooters have to shoot. The great quarterbacks forget the losses. The great shooters always think the next one is going in. You might need to fire a couple “sup” chats, maybe a couple of subtle smiles to strangers on the Chick-fil-A line, maybe some not-so-subtle winks. Maybe you’ve been in the gym all season working on your jumpshot. We can’t all ride the bench forever. It’s definitely not too late in the season to put together a little run and sneak into the playoffs — it’s your time to prove the haters wrong!
You’ve Got a Couple Baes.
This one is maybe the toughest situation. You’ve been experimenting with your rotation all season. Nobody knows who’s starting or who’s riding the bench. As the coach and general manager of your squad, you have to make some tough cuts. You might have to trade some players for future draft picks. If worse comes to worst, you could be looking at waiving some players or buying out some contracts. It’s the cost of doing business.