Posted on

A Sneak Peek Into Your Semester Online

Due to the ongoing public health crisis, Georgetown has decided the majority of students will remain home for the fall 2020 semester. Hoyas received a taste of online learning during the spring of 2020, but this fall, admin has spared no expense to offer a semester with even more precision and in-depth planning than the last.

Photorealistic representation of McKinsey consultants unraveling and editing DeGioia’s reopening plan.

While this won’t be the semester anyone had envisioned, we may as well prepare for what lies ahead. The 4E is here to offer you a ~sneak preview~ of your online fall semester!

John DeGioia, do your worst.

Classes:

With full course loads and asynchronous lectures, Hoyas everywhere can expect ~The Grind~ to never stop!

Chad from Apple Pie Delta gets frustrated during his OPIM lecture.

The Grind, of course, comes with its own challenges. Living at home means parents and younger siblings interrupting lectures and valuable study time. Staring at your online class crush covertly (or even enlarging their picture in Zoom) is enough of a distraction!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is giphy.gif
There’s no place like Lau 4! There’s no place like Lau 4! There’s no place like Lau 4!

There are some bright sides to online classes, though. Over Zoom, Hoyas can live out their reality television star dreams by sitting in their very own confessional square! Use the background of your favorite Confessional Booth™, and, suddenly, you too are a Kardashian!

Me trying to get through a 9 a.m. economics lecture.

Hoyas can also take advantage of the small screen to show off their quarantine fits. Of course, stunting in Lau is a Georgetown tradition, so you can bet some students will be angling their cameras juuust right to show off a glimpse of that Gucci belt!

Sweatpants and slippers are also a ~stellar~ option.

Parties:

While the Vil A rooftop won’t be baptized with the annual syllabus week parties to kick off the semester, online classes can’t stop Hoyas from turning up! Zoom parties will be just like regular ones, only much less sweaty. And you’ll have complete control over the aux (and a mute button)!

The “Devil’s Advocate” from your political theory class acting like a young Ben Shapiro after drinking two White Claws again? Mute him!

These Zoom parties will have an unlimited capacity for fun guests, so no need for a pledge asking freshmen at the door, “Who do you know here?” Just don’t be surprised when your friends 8+ timezones away from you ~darty~ while you ~party~!

Class of 2024 crashing seniors’ exclusive Zoom parties.

To top it all off, Natty Light will also no longer be the only alcoholic option for (21+) Hoyas to enjoy! Nothing says “lit” like the unopened red wine your mom got as a gift in 2016!

Clubs:

While parties can easily be transitioned online, Georgetown’s Club Culture™ is harder to recreate over the internet.

How can the Hoyas get rejected from The Corp if there’s no coffee to serve in the first place?

Some of Georgetown’s most ~exclusive~ clubs will have to transition online for recruitment, initiation and everything in between! This may serve as a huge advantage for the business crowd: No more running across campus in suits only to be rejected by the consulting club of your choice! For other clubs, it may not be as simple, resulting in a few hiatuses.

An exclusive look into GU Eating Society’s next gathering.

Reminder: The Hoya is always looking for new talent ;)

Work-Study and Internships:

Many students lost their on-campus jobs in the spring, including students working at Lauinger Library and Yates and as student guards. To compensate for this sudden unemployment, Georgetown is offering a number of online work-study positions.

Georgetown isn’t known for its IT positions (I’m looking at you, always empty UIS Service Desk on the third floor of Lau), but in this unprecedented time, innovation in student work is necessary. The 4E personally brainstormed ideas for online jobs for Hoyas:

  1. Zoom Bombing Student Guard
  2. Exam Proctor (see: Narc)
  3. OnlyFans Content Creator
  4. Author Of a Book Written in Quarantine Set To Be Published In April 2021
  5. “Tennis Coach”

We also can’t forget those students experiencing remote internships! Let’s hear it for our remote Hillterns™!

“The West Wing” but make it ~virtual~

Traditions:

Hoyas already missed out on Georgetown Day 2020, so we deserve a fun homecoming at the very least. Even though there will be no football, we all know that, at Georgetown, homecoming is never about the football anyway.

“Homecoming” can take on a new and more literal meaning in this quarantine. Hoyas could flood campus for a weekend in September (while social distancing, of course) to bring us together for the first time since March and keep the Georgetown spirit alive!

Hoya Saxa!

Students turning 21 will also have to adapt the Tombs Night tradition to an online platform. When The Tombs finally reopens, you can bet most of the bar’s patrons will be stamping their foreheads to make up for their missed birthdays. But for now, a postal stamp and a speech on Zoom will have to do.

A cake also couldn’t hurt. Or, if you’re anything like me, try a piñata!

Spring:

While the future opening status of Georgetown is unknown, we can all do our part to stay safe now to be together as a family in the future.

Where’s your mask, Andy Samberg?

For now, live your Georgetown career without regret! DM that cutie in your theology class on Canvas! Take “International Finance” pass/fail! Email your TA to round up your grade! Catfish your professor by using a hot person’s photo as your Zoom avatar!

From all of us at the 4E, stay healthy Hoyas! We hope to see you on campus soon!

Posted on

To the Misunderstood Majors

It’s that time of year again, when a whole new cohort of sophomores sets out to choose which major they want to cry over for two more years. Each department picks out its best outfit and lines, naive enough to think they’ll have a chance of beating government but quickly humbled by the lack of phone calls asking for a second Leo’s date. Don’t worry, this stops today — this is a list made for all of the majors pushed aside and hidden from the limelight, like a freshman in Darnall. This is for you: 

To Classics:

You may be ancient, but you have aged like fine wine. A true classic beauty that some would even say resembles the likeness of a Greek god. Given a little consideration, students will Rome in flocks to meet you on the third floor of Healy — to heal your broken heart. 

To American Musical Culture: 

You’ve been a little bit out of tune, huh? Don’t worry — no one noticed with your great composer. Always remember, you AmeriCAN get those prospective newcomers. 

To Linguistics: 

You may need to work on your communication. Once you learn to not overanalyze, the conversations will seem a lot less daunting, and I alphaBET you’ll be number one!

To Theater and Performance Studies: 

We know you don’t play around, so it’s no act when we say you hold a special place in our hearts and deserve all of our props. The talent you craft is a gift curtsy of your amazing faculty, tied together with the perfect bow. 

To Computer Science:

You’re on this list because you software your heart on your sleeve but are still looking for that someone to find the key to it. Hint: It’s QWERTY. Get ready for the influx of applications and try not to file too many away. They may call the MSBros snakes, but we all know you’re the real python.

To Physics:

In no way are you an absolute zero, but for sure a solid seven and a half. Some stand out qualities: you give off great energy, you care about what matters, you’ve never broken a law, you love a good jam session to “Free Fallin’” and they don’t call you the Big Bang for nothing!

Posted on

7 Totems of Georgetown

While in the show “You” there are seven totems that mark one’s initiation into Los Angeles life, indeed there are another seven to become a full ~Hoya~. Read below to find out if you have actually reached full membership on the Hilltop.

1. Watch two rats fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night

D.C. is full of fascinating and beautiful fauna, but the rat is undoubtedly held in greatest esteem at Georgetown. If you’re lucky enough to see two of them fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night, preferably by a Henle, you’re more of a Hoya than you’ll ever know.

2. An overflowing toilet

While some may marvel at the charm of Healy and its surrounding tulip beds, I contend that the most pleasant aspect of Georgetown are the facilities — specifically overflowing toilets. Did someone clog it? Is it a simple, common malfunction? Who knows.

3. Cry over an abandoned, half-eaten grilled cheese from Epi

Anyone on the Hilltop will tell you that the proper night out ends with an excursion to Epicurean. Whether you’re merely chilling or ordering food after visiting a sweaty Henle, you and your friends (if lucky) will definitely end up sitting down at a table covered with half-eaten leftovers from your fellow, drunken Hoyas.

4. Have a cockroach in your dorm

If you thought rats were the worst thing to find in your room, guess again. Roaches also carry 33 kinds of bacteria, six different types of parasitic worms and seven known pathogens — just remember that next time one crawls across your desk.

5. Wake up to never-ending construction at 6 a.m.

If you live in Henle or Darnall, you’re all too familiar with the morning not being brought in by the sunrise, but with, well, the sound of a dump truck.

6. See the three-legged dog from SWQ

While you may have thought Jack the Bulldog was the goodest boy on campus, you were wrong. Keep an eye out for the three-legged doggo (named Crouton!) who lives in the Southwest Quad. Extra points if you pet him.

7. Admire the Harry Styles cardboard cutout in Vil A

Keep an eye out for the ominous presence of a Harry Styles cardboard cutout next time you drunkenly wander Vil A in search of a darty. You won’t be disappointed. 

Posted on

Valentine’s Day: Valentine Alternatives

Attention all single Hoyas! Looking for love this Valentine’s Day? Well, look no further than this list of perfect options to be your next Valentine!

The Student Guard Who Doesn’t Make You Swipe

They see your hands are completely full: Olive Branch Grain Bowl in your left, your “International Finance” textbook in your right. You make eye contact, and they give you a nod to pass through. Sparks fly.

Your RA Who Only Gave You a ~Warning~

You were blasting “Gotta Go My Own Way,” as performed by Vanessa Hudgens in “High School Musical 2,” clearly going through it. While your RA was doing their rounds on the floor, they were startled by the volume (but appreciated the bop, of course). A soft knock at the door alerts you: You are going to be in so much trouble. Sensing your struggles, they let you off with a warning: “Turn the music down.” How compassionate!

The Midnight MUG Worker Who Drew a ’Lil Heart on Your Iced “Beloved”

Could there be a clearer choice for a Valentine? They clearly are interested (and not just trying to get a tip)! You proudly showcase the heart at your crowded table on Lau 2, only to see Becky from WRIT-015’s coffee has the exact same symbol. Let the battle commence.

The SFS Kid in Your Philosophy Discussion Who Always Plays “Devil’s Advocate”

. . .Maybe he just needs someone to advocate for him <3

The Guy Who Left You On Read Two Months Ago

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t just be about forming new connections, but it should be about ~reviving~ old ones. Give him a second chance to prove you wrong! Slide up on his Snapchat story with his new girlfriend with Justin Bieber lyrics, post that selfie to your Instagram and check maniacally whether he saw it or not, or even show up at his dorm (it worked in “Love Actually”)!

An Elkay LZS8WSLK EZH2O Bottle Filling Station With Single ADA Cooler, Filtered, 8 GPH

Are you an environmentalist? Are you a Yates bro? Are you both? Well, lucky for you, the Elkay LZS8WSLK EZH2O Bottle Filling Station with Single ADA Cooler, Filtered, 8 GPH is single and ready to mingle. Although sedentary, it ~mingles~ with everyone, so don’t expect to be Elkay’s only Valentine!

Todd A. Olson

They don’t call him vice president of student ~affairs~ for nothing ;)

Leo’s Workers Who Call You “Sugar” or “Baby”

Nothing is more pure than the interactions with our service workers! Treat them with respect every day, not just if they’re your prospective Valentine! But, a little chocolate and a teddy bear couldn’t hurt.

Me!

My favorite flowers are lilies, my favorite type of chocolate is dark and my favorite metal is silver ;)

Posted on

Meet the 4E’s Spring 2020 Hires!

Earlier in this semester, we at The Fourth Edition welcomed three new fantastically ~quirky~ sophomores to our staff: Jessica Alexander, Melanie Boychuk and Katie Watke!

As the year progresses, we hope you get to know them through their incredible work, but for now, here is each new hire’s “Top 5” list!

Jessica Alexander (COL ’22)

Top-Five Bagels (Dedicated to Einstein’s Lovers and New Jerseyans alike): 

  1. Everything 
  2. Pumpernickel 
  3. Cinnamon Sugar
  4. Sesame Seed
  5. Plain

Melanie Boychuk (COL ’22)

Top-Five Most Pretentious Grocery Stores 

  1. Whole Foods: Whole Foods takes the (organic, gluten-free, $30) cake for most pretentious grocery store. Under the guise of “all natural, non-GMO” products, Whole Foods is ironically a serious detriment to shoppers’ health when they immediately have a stroke upon seeing their receipt total.
  2. Trader Joe’s: Trader Joes is not simply a grocery store; it’s an entirely different universe. In what other world can you buy wine for $4 while hipsters in Hawaiian shirts ringing you up tell you what you’re buying is “totally one of their favorites?” However, out of respect for their low prices, they get to be No. 2 on this list. 
  3. Wegmans: Wegmans is well known for having relatively cheap products for good-quality food. However, its weirdly strong following places it in the middle of this list — ask anyone in Jersey and they’ll tell you they would sell their soul to keep shopping at Wegmans. 
  4. The Fresh Market: The Fresh Market is trying to reinvent grocery stores by focusing on fresh food. Anytime a business uses the word “reinvent,” you can be sure there’s some sort of gentrification going on there. 
  5. Safeway: Posing as a regular grocery store among the likes of ShopRite or Stop & Shop, Safeway fools its shoppers with its almost too ordinary appearance. However, Safeway’s jacked-up prices are most definitely not ordinary — and puts it at No. 5 on this list. 

Katie Watke (COL ’22)

Top-Five Best (and I mean the absolute very best) Chinese Foods To Order and Crave on a Daily Basis:

  1. Bao Bun (preferably of the pork variety) 
  2. Shrimp (specifically) Soup Dumplings 
  3. All Other Types of Soup Dumplings 
  4. Egg and Tomato Soup (for those days when you’ve eaten one too many bao buns)
  5. Peking Duck (would be number one if — and only if — the delectable dish weren’t so inaccessible!  The only Peking Duck anyone should ever eat exists only in Beijing, so until teleportation becomes a modern mode of transportation, I must sadly place this beloved dish at No. 5)
Posted on

Georgetown Divests From Fossil Fuels, Replacing Investments With New Opportunities

Late on Feb. 6, Georgetown University announced that it is divesting its endowment from fossil fuels, claiming it will stop new investments in companies that extract fossil fuels of all forms and proposing a timeline for divesting from both public and private investments in fossil fuel companies.

This divestment is a momentous first step in Georgetown’s role in ensuring the health of the planet and the lives of future generations, showing its commitment to all current and future Hoyas.

In a pivot to increase transparency regarding Georgetown’s $1.6 billion endowment (a little more than what Jeff Bezos makes in a week), Georgetown has offered the 4E an inside scoop on its plans for the funds previously invested in those companies.

One major investment opportunity Georgetown is pursuing is the app used in the Iowa caucus, IowaRecorder app. Created by a for-profit software firm, Georgetown has poured an unknown amount into the company, citing the app’s ability to create media buzz and attention as a reason for the investment. While the app has been mired in controversy, all publicity is good publicity, right? At first, this may seem like a risky move, seeing as it almost caused the absolute destruction of the Democratic Party, but compared to the damage the fossil fuel industry has done to the planet, this investment is a safe bet.

Georgetown University has ample financial advisers in the form of MSBros and has heeded their advice in regard to reinvesting funds removed from fossil fuel companies. A group of MSB students has successfully petitioned for investing in various snake sanctuaries, as it would ensure that MSB graduates have a safe and comfortable home for retirement after a long, successful life at their family’s private equity firm. This new investment will help diversify Georgetown’s portfolio and make its endowment practically recession-proof.

A retired MSB student in a newly built snake sanctuary funded by Georgetown University.

Interestingly, Georgetown has chosen to take some of the funds previously devoted to the fossil fuel industry out of its endowment and use it to buy various products. It has quietly bought every tenured professor their own personal trash truck to transport them around D.C. Even though these trucks average three miles per gallon, Georgetown justifies this purchase by arguing that professors are now free to move farther from campus, saving them a ton of money by allowing them to move away from the ludicrously expensive D.C. area.

A sneak peek of all the professors’ new whips.

Georgetown has also allocated a large portion of assets freed from fossil fuel companies to the purchase of raw beef and lamb, citing that it’s bulking season and red meat has great nutritional value. It’s even rumored that the entirety of Old North has been converted into a giant freezer in order to store the metric tons of meat Georgetown has bought.

St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits, would have wanted it this way. In fact, he’s quoted saying that a strong bicep is just as important as, if not more important than, a strong mind. Cura personalis, right?

Regardless of whether you agree with these financial decisions, Georgetown has proven yet again to be on the forefront of combating climate change. Every day, Georgetown gives us another reason to be proud to be a Hoya.

Posted on

Things To Cook for Your Loved Ones This Thanksgiving Season

Things to Cook for Your Loved Ones This Thanksgiving Season

The Traditional Friendsgiving Meal

You could show your love with the standard wholesome potluck, or choose to get a little creative this year: Pick up the tab on your group’s late-night Domino’s order, congregate in Leo’s to taste the Fresh Food Company™’s seasonal creations or Venmo all of your stressed-out friends a couple of bucks for coffee at Midnight Mug. Share the love!

Parental Appreciation Breakfast

Get up early one morning during Thanksgiving break and make your parents some pancakes, French toast or maybe even a frittata if you’re feeling inspired. This gesture will basically repay them for the accumulated costs of tuition, room and board, Uber Eats and everything else they’ve done for you since birth.

“Give Me an A” Brownies

Drop these in your professor’s mailbox with a personalized note as a last-ditch effort to save your grade. Ah, sweet, sweet bribery. If the president’s doing it, we can at least try to do it too.

Disclaimer: The Hoya does not endorse bribery.

“Be My Friend?” Picture Cookies

We all know about those cute, delicious sugar cookies with seasonally appropriate decorations. Make a batch of the ones with turkeys on them, park yourself at a table on Lau 2 and wait for your new friends to arrive. This will make up for the feelings of homesickness and isolation that are bound to arise this holiday season.

This is not a Pillsbury ad.

“Goodbye Forever” Cake

If you’re going abroad like me, soften the blow of your last rendezvous with friends and family by saying what everyone is already thinking in cake form. This way, you can all get over your separation anxiety by eating your feelings together.

Sources: me.me, pillsbury.com, giphy.com, threewells.co

Posted on

An Open Letter to Kylie Jenner

kylie openl etter

Dear Kylie,

How goes it? What’s happening, sweetie? I think I speak on behalf of the entire world when I ask — why are you doing this?

You have complete autonomy over your life choices. However, if I may offer some constructive feedback, Tyga is an objectively worse life partner/baby daddy/PR tool than Travis. Travis is hot, talented and successful. He’s a good dad. Please refer to exhibits A through D for evidence.

I realize that Tyga holds some sentimental value for you. Let’s all take a moment to remember that episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” in which Tyga performed at Kendall’s Sweet 16 and shared a ~moment~ with a wide-eyed, thin-lipped teenage Kylie.

Start watching at 3:35.

Despite that, it’s about time we all moved on from our teenage crushes. Don’t you think?

As further evidence, let’s compare the artistic abilities of the two men. Would you rather be in “Rack City” or “ASTROWORLD”? Would you rather have six Grammy nominations or a $20 million lawsuit for showing women topless in the “Make it Nasty” music video without their consent? If you’re still uncertain, a text study is provided below.

Kylie, I know what you’re thinking. Who is this girl to criticize me and my decisions? And you’re right. I can’t say I’m a member of your fan base; I had a short Kardashian phase in 2012, but didn’t we all? Yet, after watching your pregnancy video, I have been rooting for you, Travis and Stormi. How could you give this up?

At the end of the day, it’s your life. This is just my opinion, so take it or leave it. I just hope you continue to “Rise and Shine” and I think that Travis is the best person to do that with.

Sources: Giphy, Tenor, YouTube, Instagram

Posted on

Oscars Drinking Game

Get out your champagne flutes and call your limo driver!

It’s red carpet season, and the greatest awards show of all is TONIGHT: The Oscars.

Even if you’re having trouble locating your Cartier earrings and haute couture ballgown, don’t stress. Get yourself to a TV, pop that bubbly, and get ready to judge the rich and famous as if you didn’t wear sweats to class on a daily basis.

If you are over the age of 21 and read Daily Mail updates as soon as you get up in the morning, this drinking game is for you. If you’re not into showbiz, this will help you become an interesting/worthwhile person to hang out with.

Without further ado…

Take a shot every time:

There’s an awkward break in the program because they couldn’t get it together and find an inoffensive host. Why’d you have to go and be homophobic like that, Kevin??

Someone’s heartfelt acceptance speech is played off.

I’d like to thank my mom for giving birth to me so that I could write this article.

There’s a Trump joke but it really just isn’t even funny anymore. :/

Rami Malek has a wide-eyed look on his face that makes you want to cuddle him and ask, “Baby are you okay???”

Take 2 shots every time:

You see a celeb with a whole new face. Renée Zellweger — is that a mask, sweetie?

Someone does the “Wakanda Forever” salute.

A winner doesn’t show up to grab their statue because they’re just TOO GOOD. My money’s on Kendrick — the man has a Pulitzer and simply does not need a little golden naked man on his shelf.

Your fave gets absolutely ROBBED. Glenn Close is cute and all, but if Gaga doesn’t get that gold, I’m gonna take to the streets. Sorry, not sorry.

Finish your drink when:

Lady Gaga repeats her now-iconic line: “There can be 100 people in a room, and 99 don’t believe in you, but just ONE…”

BUT I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU, GAGA.

You spot a Hoya! #Hoyas4BCoop #ButtChug4BCoop #WhoSaidThat

You make it through the entire show!! You are a star and you deserve your own award!!

Stay fabulous, my friends. Perhaps we, too, can be as hot and cool as Bradley Cooper someday.

 

Sources: Giphy, Tenor, Buzzfeed

Posted on

4E’s Thanksgiving Countdown

It doesn’t seem valid to get excited year after year about a holiday that commemorates our subjugation of native peoples and destructive colonial ways, but let me tell you: I am excited for Thanksgiving break.

You may ask me, “What could be so exciting about five days in central New Jersey?” Well, first of all, New Jersey is the most underrated state. Second of all, a brief reprieve from midterms is exactly what I need to restore my sanity.

Please join me on a ~journey~ to cozy, fall-time feels. Whether you’re travelling home for Thanksgiving or not, these activities should allow you to start healing that part of your soul that a semester-long midterm season has sucked out of you.

First, play this song for maximum reading experience.

Day 1: Nov. 5

Divine your Thanksgiving horoscope. What’s in the stars for you this year? If you’re going home, will you finally hook up with your high school crush? Will you get taken to the hospital with an irreversible food coma? Only one way to find out…

Day 2: Nov. 6

Go vote. If you haven’t voted yet, please motivate yourself with the thought of Great-Grandma Pat’s wrath when you tell her you abused the right she fought so hard for back when they only showered like once a week or whatever. This way, when your family members start arguing at the dinner table, you’ll be able to validate the opinions you’ve honed in all of those SFS classes by proving that you’re an active participant in our democracy.

Day 3: Nov. 7

Plan out your plate. Everyone knows that going into the holiday meal without an attack plan is a fool’s errand. Use the below image to prevent future discomfort and maximize future deliciousness.

Image result for thanksgiving plate outline

Day 4: Nov. 8

Get the 411 on those crazy relatives you’re afraid to see. Call your mom. You should probably do this anyway, but for your own safety, ask her to give you an update about Aunt Linda’s “situation” so you’re not blindsided on the big day.

Day 5: Nov. 9

Start filling up your shopping carts. Two weeks before Black Friday, go against your better judgment and let those natural consumer instincts run wild. I’ve never actually shopped on Black Friday before, but I like to imagine that filling up online shopping carts is just as good.

Day 6: Nov. 10

Check out those fall colors. Get out of your musty apartment for once and take a walk somewhere in the city — it’s actually very beautiful here and we tend to take that for granted too often.

Day 7: Nov. 11

It’s cuffing season. Have you found your big/little spoon yet? It’s getting pretty chilly outside; you should probably get on that.

Day 8: Nov. 12

Convince your dad that a turducken is a bad idea. Tell him the hard truth: 55 is too old to spice things up, especially with the multi-meat equivalent of the Human Centipede. Like him, sometimes oldies are goodies — no more of this millennial nonsense.

Day 9: Nov. 13

Start packing. I’m serious. If you do it this far in advance, you’ll avoid that last-minute packing nightmare in which you somehow only bring home booty shorts, a turtleneck and over-the-knee boots.

Day 10: Nov. 14

Do something ~cute~ with your friends. Make a pie. Drink some chai. Discuss the best moisturizing strategies for preventing dry winter skin (non-spon but pls check out this account @dewydudes). Put aside homework for a sec and appreciate the value of good, wholesome fun.

Day 11: Nov. 15

Come up with a fake major to get your grandparents off your back. They don’t understand that you’re not wasting their money; you’re just finding yourself. So, pose as a Future Government Official/Investment Person to get out of hot water with the old folks.

Day 12: Nov. 16

Learn how to play football (?). I’m very thankful that my family does not maintain this tradition, but if yours does, it’s probably time to tighten up that spiral. Who knows, maybe you’ll get concussed and won’t have to take any more exams!

Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born,” 2018 (colorized).

Day 13: Nov. 17

Thank your roommate(s). Whether you’re best friends or mere living partners, be grateful to this person for putting up with you. This way, your inability to wash dishes and sexiling habits won’t weigh heavy on your conscience over the break.

Day 14: Nov. 18

Friendsgiving! Get together with all of your friends for one last hurrah before going your separate ways. A group dinner feat. Leo’s turkey and mashed potatoes never looked so cute.

Day 15: Nov. 19

Watch the twurkey dance. This is a good distraction that will get you hype for the holiday.

Day 16: Nov. 20

What? Sorry. I’m already gone. If possible, remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the Georgetown environment. This could be done in the form of a really long nap, ripping up a blue book — you name it.

Hoya Saxa! I’m grateful for you <3

Sources: festival-collection.com, giphy.com, youtube.com, people.com