If you go to Georgetown, chances are you know someone (or five-hundred someones) from California. If you know someone from California, you have definitely had to suffer through multiple conversations about how amazing California is, and about how life there is just so much better than life wherever you’re from. As a California native and NorCal apologist, I’ve always been aware that California was something of a strange and mystical land.
A week after returning to the Golden State from Georgetown, I have realized that California is even more ridiculous than you think. We don’t just live up to every stereotype you have about Californians: we are even worse than you could have ever imagined. Here is a rundown of some of the things I have encountered during my first week back in the San Francisco Bay Area:
The Airport: If you have ever had a two minute conversation with me, I have probably brought up how amazing SFO is, and you probably were annoyed and tried to change the subject. If you ever doubted things you’ve heard about California, your doubts will be erased the minute you step off your plane and into the airport. First of all, SFO has a Yoga Room. Second of all, SFO has a farmer’s market. Let me repeat-there is a farmer’s market inside of an airport. California.
The Food: On my first day at home, I decided to make myself a PB&J. The peanut butter: all-natural, unsalted and made with unblanched peanuts. The jelly: organic, locally grown strawberry fruit spread. The bread: organic, non-GMO, with 21 whole grains and seeds. I also found quinoa clusters in my pantry, and wasn’t sure if I should be embarrassed or proud.
The Sports Stadiums: I went to see a Giants baseball game at AT&T Park. Behind center field, AT&T Park has an edible garden that grows blueberries, strawberries, avocados, tomatoes, peppers, squash, lettuces, lemons and kale. This produce is then picked fresh and made into salads, sandwiches and flatbreads that are sold to baseball fans. I am starting to realize why people hate California.
The Workplaces: On my first day at work, I rolled into my office at 9am. In our communal kitchen (which is fully stocked with all-natural tea, ethically-sourced coffee, several different types of recycling containers and three compost bins), there was a bottle of wine sitting on the table with a sign that said “to share.” I have also not seen anyone consuming any foods besides salad, produce and copious amounts of coffee.
The Conversations: Here are some actual things I have heard people say since I’ve been home- “I ate too much quinoa to eat my dolma too.” “Hold on, I have quinoa in my teeth.” “That new farm-to-table marijuana delivery startup is doing well.”
The Transportation: On Thursday, it was bike-to-work day in SF – as if everyone here doesn’t already ride their bike to work every day. I’ve also participated in something called casual carpool, where you literally just get into a random person’s car and ride into the city for $1. I’m pretty sure this is something that would only happen on the West Coast. Bonus: I saw someone simultaneously driving a Prius and playing a guitar.
They say stereotyping is bad, but I am here to confirm that every stereotype about California is completely and totally true. And with that, I will return to eating my organic avocado and kale salad and sipping on my acai and wheatgrass smoothie.
Photos/gifs: giphy.com, nydailynews.com, thefeed.com, cafarmersmkts.com, sheknows.com, tumblr.com