How to Be a Georgetown Hustler

georgetownhustleWe’ve all seen the movie American Hustle. Well, maybe not all of us, but if you haven’t, you should get on that this Easter break. Anyway, don’t you want to be like Amy Adams and Georgetown alumnus Bradley Cooper? (I know I do.) It can be hard to get your American Hustle on while you’re in the midst of studying for those last few tests, but never fear, you can still be a Georgetown Hustler, which is just as great, if not better! How, you might ask? Just follow these few tips:

1. Steal three pieces of fruit from Leo’s. They tell you that you can only take two, so be daring and slip a third apple into your bag.

2. Bring uncovered drinks into Lau 3. You’re a rebel and no one can tell you what to do. Bonus points if you walk right past the circulation desk without being detected.

3. Use a friend’s GoCard to swipe into a building where yours doesn’t work. Trespassing in the dorms is so 007.

4. Buy a one-class Yates pass and use it for two classes. You can still be a hustler while you’re getting a workout.

5. Pretend you know a few brothers at one of the frats to get into party. Who do you know here? Uh, Matt, he’s a great guy! We’re best friends! You don’t need to be a freshman to hustle your way in the door.

6. Switch your meal plan at the last second to get extra flex dollars. Switch from the 14 to the 10 and you’ll get 50 more flex dollars — that’s like 10 Corp drinks (swag).

7. Step on the seal. You’re not scared by the superstition. You’re going to stomp on that seal, and then graduate with honors. (Just kidding. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.)

Okay, let’s be honest, you might not be the most badass student on campus, but it’s the small rebellions that get you through the day. You might not be able to wear low cut dresses like Amy Adams. You might not be able to rock the curlers like Bradley Cooper. But with these easy tips, you can still be a Georgetown Hustler.

Big Sean is NOT This Sean

bigseanisnotseanconneryWith the Spring Kick-Off concert fast approaching, I’m sure you’ve all been researching the two artists coming to campus, White Panda and Big Sean. Or at least you keep meaning to. If you’re musically challenged, you might not know who Big Sean is. The Fourth Edition is here to help you get your act together so that you don’t start screaming for Sean Connery and an SNL skit this Friday in McDonough. These Seans are NOT coming to campus:

1. Sean Kingston

kingston

A lot of his songs might start with, “Ayo Sean. You Mr. Kingston,” (da ti da ti da ti do do feelin’ like I’m letting go…) but he is not THE Big Sean. His songs might be pretty catchy and remind you of your middle school dance days but, sadly, he will not be coming to Georgetown.

2. Sean John aka Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P Diddy

p diddy

While he is another classic rapper, Sean John is not BIG Sean. Though Diddy and his Dirty Money have a multitude of names, Big Sean is not one of them.

3. Shaun White

sean white

Wrong! Wrong race, wrong hair color and wrong reason for being famous. If you thought that Big Sean was Shaun White you should probably just not come this weekend. But maybe you should venture out from the rock you’ve been living under. Shaun White might be a bad ass snowboarder with crazy style, but alas, he would probably not do well as our concert’s main act.

4. Sean Penn

sean penn

Once again, if you were thinking that Big Sean was Sean Penn, you’re pretty off base. A famous actor and producer, Sean Penn is brilliant, but he should probably stick to the screen.

5. Shawn Johnson

P&G "Thank you, Mom" Gift Announcement

OK so now we’ve hit the wrong gender and her name is even spelled differently. Trust me, I would pay decent money to see this girl perform some gymnastics, but I’m less enthused by the thought of her singing career. So good guess — not really — but Big Sean is not Shawn Johnson — in fact, she’s only 4’ 9” so maybe we’ll just dub her Little Shawn.

6. Sean Bean

sean bean2

While a fantastic actor — even though he dies in every role — Ned Stark, err Sean Bean, is not Big Sean. It would be nice to see Sean Bean at Spring Kick-Off so he could tell us winter is ENDING, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

7. Sean Parker

sean pparker

You might only know him as the character Justin Timberlake plays in The Social Network, but unfortunately Sean Parker himself cannot sing “Sexy Back” as well as our boy J.T. I’m also going to say, he’s not nearly as fun to look at, but let’s be honest, who is?

8. Sean Lowe

sean lowe

He might be a cutie, and he actually married the girl he proposed to on the Bachelor —that’s refreshing — he’s not the guy you want for your concert. He’s a nice guy, unlike the most recent Bachelor Juan Pablo (don’t even get me started) but still, he’s not Big Sean.

If you still have no clue who Big Sean is, then you’re probably the type of person who sticks to the likes of Justin Bieber. That’s unfortunate. But Big Sean collaborated with Justin Bieber. Duh. So you still have no excuse.

Now that you know who Big Sean is NOT, you can go forth and research his songs so you can memorize his lyrics and make a fool of yourself attempting to rap along at the concert. If you need some help, look here for song recommendations! Don’t worry, the blog has your back.

Educate yourselves!

Photo: www.am980.ca, https://en.wikipedia.org, https://www.picturesgoogle.com, https://jeweell.com, https://www.biography.com, https://www.fanphobia.net, https://dailyscene.com, https://www.lifenews.com

GAAP Group Etiquette

gaap groupSo you were accepted to Georgetown, and now you’re in the GAAP Facebook group. First of all, congratulations! But you’ve heard enough of that from Aunt Bertha, now it’s time for some constructive criticism. We’ve all been there, and we all know the classic mistakes people make posting in these groups. So let’s reminisce on our own awkward prefrosh posts and help teach you prospective Hoyas some GAAP group etiquette. These are just a few things that you really should not do…

Don’t talk about how you can’t decide between Georgetown and Harvard, Princeton, Yale, etc. We know you’re smart, and we are very happy you’ve gotten into so many prestigious schools, but throwing the Ivies in everyone’s face is never a good idea. Also, don’t even think about posting your SATs scores.

Don’t friend everyone else in the group. We all want to make friends, and soon you’ll have more new friends than you know what to do with, but friending strangers is a definite no. Control yourself, you can do it.

Don’t post about some of your wild nights. Trying to look like a party animal doesn’t really make a good impression. And definitely don’t post during one of those nights… or try not to. We all make mistakes.

Don’t post all the time. Remember that the GAAP groups are open, which means all of your friends can see what you’re posting. They will see it and they will make fun of you.

Don’t stay in the group after you’ve decided on another school, although lets be honest, you’re probably going to choose Georgetown.

So whether you’re a current Hoya who has made some of these mistakes (I too might be guilty of a few… all… of these) or a potential Hoya stumbling upon 4E for the first time, remember that these things are never a good idea, in any Facebook group. Good night, and good luck.

Why We DON’T Miss High School

you don't miss hsNow that we’re all on spring break and some of us are home for the week, you’re probably feeling nostalgic and reflecting on your pre-college life, or you’re somewhere warm lying on a beach with your mind blank. If so, take a break from all that sun and read on anyway. You might miss some of your teachers and classmates and all the local spots where you used to hang out. Before you go wishing you could do it all over again, I’m here to remind you why you really don’t miss high school.

Class all day Whether you’re the type that likes to get up early and work out before class or you’d rather sleep the day away, I think we can all agree that classes from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. every day is NOT ideal.

Running into teachers outside of school Whether you lived in a small town or in a big city, we’ve all had awkward encounters running into our teachers on weekends or break. Whether it’s waiting in line at Starbucks, at the grocery store or the movie theater, it can be really disconcerting and totally awkward. Luckily, you’re not going to run into many professors at Leo’s.

The high school cafeteria We all hate on Leo’s now and then, but let’s be honest, it’s 10 times better than your high school cafeteria. Eating bagels or a salad for lunch five days straight is not the most exciting. Even if your cafeteria was really nice (that in itself is miraculous), I bet there was no make-your-own wok or pasta station. And let’s not forget about those omelets.

Standardized tests SATs, ACTs, SATII’s, AMCs, APs, the list of acronyms goes on and on. Yes, you might have to take the MCAT, GRE or LSAT while at Georgetown (good luck with that) but at least you’re not constantly bombarded with school-wide standardized testing.

Limited classes Want to take Italian, Arabic, Film Studies, International Relations and Astrology? Chances are your school didn’t have all of these. You were probably stuck with French or Spanish, and Latin if you were “lucky.” Even the largest high school couldn’t offer everything. My school didn’t have psychology, government or economics — awkward how those are now my major and minors.

Prom drama It’s that season again! If you’ve been at home and have younger siblings (I have two little sisters) you’ve definitely been hearing about all the prom angst. Who is going to ask me? What dress do I wear? What corsage should I get her? How do I rent a tux? Who is hosting after prom? It goes on and on. Luckily for us there isn’t much drama surrounding club formals or Dip Ball. College kids just want to have fun, right?

The uniform/dress code Yes, it was nice to be able to get up in the morning and not think so hard about what you want to wear. But sometimes you just want to roll out of bed in sweats or a tank top or pajamas. Chances are your high school didn’t let you wear those. Leggings didn’t suffice as pants in high school, which is really just a shame. Luckily for the public school kids, they are free to carry on scrubbing it as they always have.

Having friends that live far away Everyone had one friend who lived a couple towns over, or maybe even 45 minutes away. You couldn’t walk down the hall and knock on her door to borrow clothes, a spoon or some soap or to see if he wanted to hang out, watch a movie or go get dinner. The 10 minute walk to LXR seems like an eternity, but you used to have to put in a lot more effort to coordinate with your friends.

So, while I had some great times in high school, and I’m sure you all did too, don’t be fooled by the nostalgia; we all loved high school — sort of — but being at Georgetown is just way better.

It’s an Honor to be Nominated, But We Only Care Who Wins

best picture smackdownI’m sure like all ardent Oscar fans, you’ve see all of the movies nominated for Best Picture. Okay maybe half of them. A few? Two? All right, you saw one with your family over winter break because they made you and that’s it. It’s okay, here at 4E we understand your busy schedule. Even though you haven’t watched all the movies, you still want to know who’s going to win right? So here is a brief pro/con list of all the movies’ chances of winning written by yet another uniformed Oscar watcher.

American Hustle

Is that the one with all of Amy Adams’ cleavage? Yes, yes it is.

Pros: America is a pretty cool country; hustling takes a lot of effort, Amy Adams looks good in low-cut dresses and don’t they go into the Hunger Games arena for awhile? No? Oh well, at least Katniss is in it.

Cons: Bradley Cooper has weirdly curly hair in this film and doesn’t even take his shirt off! Pass.

The Wolf of Wall Street

The one with Leo, aka Jack Dawson, aka perfection.

Pros: Leonardo DiCaprio, Leonardo DiCaprio’s smile, Leo’s hair, Leo’s voice, his eyes … Hang on, is anyone else in this movie?

Cons: Oh right, Matthew McConaughey is in this movie, but only for like 2 minutes, and that’s the best part!

Gravity

Hope you like the sound of Sandra Bullock breathing.

Pros: Space is cool, you don’t weigh anything in space, you can do endless somersaults in space, and let’s not forget George Clooney is in space with you.

Cons: Space is a lot of dark emptiness, and it’s actually really terrifying if you think about it for too long.

Her

Hang on a second, does he fall in love with a computer? What?

Pros: Siri is pretty sexy. Technology is good and who doesn’t like girls? It is called Her after all.

Cons: I’m still confused; are you sure he loves this computer? Really? Well it is the voice of Scarlett Johansson, but still.

Nebraska

Home, home on the range … Where the deer and the antelope play …

Pros: Nebraska is a solid state, lots of wide-open spaces and all that. Plus the movie is about the lottery, right?

Cons: Who are we kidding? There is nothing to do in Nebraska.

Captain Phillips

Tom Hanks in the middle of the ocean. … Is this the Castaway sequel?!

Pros: It’s a true story, and there are bound to be some serious sea life sightings.

Cons: It’s a true story, and there is a 50 percent chance it’s a horror film.

Philomena

Accent alert!

Pros: They are all British! And you know the British are good at portraying heartwarming stories.

Cons: Is Philomena someone’s name? I hope there’s filo dough.

Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey is actually in this one!

Pros: Cowboys are sexy. Jennifer Garner is sexy.

Cons: They gave poor Matthew a mustache… Sigh.

12 Years a Slave

There are a lot of true stories this year!

Pros: Lupita Nyong’o. This is another profoundly heartwarming tale, and they sneak Brad Pitt in there! Also Lupita Nyong’o.

Cons: It’s set in the Antebellum South, so everyone’s clothes are funny, and there are lots of tall hats. (Whether this is a pro or con is debatable).

That’s basically all you need to know about this year’s nominees. So get ready for the Oscars this weekend, and may the best movie win!

BroApp: Helping Bros “Maximize” Their Relationships

broappHere at 4E, we love new technology and take pride in showing you the latest and greatest in apps and social media trends. We told you about Facebook Paper. We showed you how to heat things up with Tinder. We revealed our inner intellectual with QuizUp. Now, we’re about to review the newest and bro-iest app around: BroApp. We know. Creative name, right?

Do you need to get rid of a girl fast? Never fear, BroApp is here. This app, while advertised as an easy way to balance your relationship and “bro” time, might not be as helpful as it seems…

Hate texting your girlfriend at 7 a.m.? Just set a timer on your BroApp to send automatic morning messages. You don’t need to get up early to text her; instead, you can sleep in without her even knowing. Your text wouldn’t wake her up when she’s sleeping in or anything…

BroApp-3184003Does your girl get mad when you don’t respond to her when you’re pumping iron at the gym? BroApp has an answer for that, too, with its message settings. It’s just too difficult to text her afterwards and expect her to understand the need to go to the gym.

Have no idea what to text your girlfriend anyway? Just choose from BroApp’s list of generic messages to send her! All girlfriends love a heart-felt, app-generated text. Swoon.

Are you worried your girlfriend will find out about your app use and don’t want to lie to her about it? Don’t worry, BroApp will lie to her for you! It makes sure to detect when you’re with your girlfriend so it doesn’t text when you’re together. It also has a “safety lock down” feature to prevent your suspicious girlfriend from finding the app! They do say ignorance is bliss…

So if you need more time with your bros, start using the new Australian-designed BroApp to better manage your girlfriend with minimal effort. She might even dump you, and then you’ll have all the time in the world to hang out with just the guys.

The bottom line is: If you really want this app, you need to rethink your priorities. You probably don’t even lift anyway.

For your own comic entertainment, you should check out BroApp’s promotional video on the website here. Oh, and don’t be too offended ladies, it hasn’t gone viral… yet.

Photos: Daily Mail UK, www.diaadia.com.ar

5 Olympic Sport Spirit Animals

Olympic Spirit AnimalsAs the Olympics wrap up this weekend, it’s time to reflect upon the past few weeks. We’ve watched Olympians ski, jump, race and skate around, representing their countries in the most competitive sports contest in the world. During the Winter Games in Sochi, I’ve learned a lot of things — things about beautiful Olympians and new sporting events — but what I’ve really learned in that each Olympic sport actually has a special spirit animal. Cute animals plus winter sports … what more could a person want? Without further ado, here are the top five spirit animals of the Sochi Olympics.

1. Figure Skaters They’re beautiful, graceful and wonderful, but let’s be honest, those skater girls can be nasty (cough, cough, Tonya Harding), just like our friend the swan.

figure skatingswans

2. Downhill Skiers Going at speed of up to 80-90 miles per hour, it’s clear that these speed demons are cheetahs at heart.

downhill skiing

cheetah

3. Curlers We’re not really sure what their sport is and they don’t go very fast, but having long arms like this sloth would sure help.

curling

sloth

4. Snowboarders The tricks they do are awesome, and it’s almost like they’re flying through the air, just like this nifty little flying squirrel.

snowboarding

 

flying squirrels

5. Lugers Let’s be honest, they basically stole this sport from penguins, except penguins do it all without any equipment.

luge

 

penguin

There you have it: this year’s Winter Olympics summed up in pictures of cute animals. So embrace your spirit animals and you’ll be basically halfway to the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Games, Hoyas!

Photos: katiaham.wordpress.com, 10000likes.blogspot.com, gardenofeaden.blogspot.com, www.npr.org, www.examiner.com, www.allvoices.com, www.denverpost.com, www.theonion.com, bleacherreport.com, averyhowland.blogspot.com, ccsuvt.org, commons.wikimedia.org

GET ALL THE SPOONS: Snow Day Rituals You Need to Do Now

SnowDaySo Hoyas, it’s been one of those weeks. It’s freezing cold, you’ve got three midterms and you can barely force yourself to leave your room. If only there were a way to postpone things for a little while. Well, you’re in luck! Another snowstorm is set to hit D.C. Wednesday night, with the current estimates between five and eight inches. I know what you’re all thinking… snow day, SNOW day, SNOW DAY! Believe me, I want a snow day as much as the next Hoya, but we all know the weather here is completely unreliable. If you really want a snow day this Thursday, we’re going to have to perform a few snow day “rituals” in order to seal the deal.

If you love snow and don’t want class, these are the eight things you need to do:

1. Put a scarf on John Carroll. Once the snow starts he’s going to be cold! Providing him with a scarf could be the good karma we need.

2. Cut snowflakes out of paper and disperse them throughout the ICC. Not only will it make that place a little more festive, but it might put teachers in a better mood and make them cancel class in advance.

If not, you’ll be waiting all night for that GU alert.

snowday1

3. Steal a spoon from Leo’s and put it under your pillow — assuming of course that you can actually find a spoon somewhere in there.

4. Wear your pajamas inside out; this classic snow day ritual never fails, plus you’ll look super stylish walking into the bathroom the next morning.

5. Eat a lot of cold foods before bed — preferably a pint of ice cream. Eating cold foods will decrease the air temperature and make it more likely to snow (guys, its science). You’ll garner extra good luck if you eat Ben and Jerry’s Americone Dream in bed, watching Netflix and ignoring all your homework.

6. Tweet lots of hopeful snow comments; you never know what the snow gods might hear.

And we really don’t want this to happen:

snowday2

7. Turn on the holiday lights you still have set up in your dorm room. Let’s face it, no one ever gets around to taking them down. If we all turn them on, we can trick the weather into thinking it’s December.

8. Do a traditional snow dance, optimally involving jumping, prancing, squawking, thrashing and frolicking. Do it on Lau 2, and everyone will join in. Maybe

Tomorrow you might not be able to enjoy snowy festivities:

snowday3

Get ready for an epic snow day this Thursday. If you don’t take these rituals seriously, you’ll only have yourself to blame.

(Also: The Fourth Edition does not condone stealing spoons from Leo’s. But when was the last time 4E was your moral barometer?)

Photos: DIYLOL.com, redvinesandredwine.blogspot.com, tumblr.com

What to Do Feb. 14, As Told by Frank Underwood

house_of_cards2So, what’s happening Feb. 14? If you answered Valentine’s Day, you would be WRONG. The correct answer is: the season two premiere of “House of Cards!” If you’ve been planning that romantic date with someone special, think again. The only thing you should be doing next Friday is taking all those Valentine’s Day treats, snuggling in your bed and getting ready for an epic TV marathon. Still not convinced? Perhaps our friend Frank Underwood can be more persuasive. (And believe me, Frank Underwood can definitely be persuasive.)

If you don’t watch the new season, everyone else will know what happened and you’ll be “in the dark.”

Fu1

Frank Underwood might also take your failure to watch as a personal betrayal, and that would not be good.

FU2

Valentine’s Day is too predictable anyway; make a bold choice instead.

FU3

Don’t think you can watch a full season in one day? You’ve just got to power through.

FU4

Watching 10-plus hours of Netflix in a row is hard; you’ve just got to be a rock. Besides, do you know how many calories the brain burns? Frank Underwood does. Who needs the gym when you have the ability to focus all your brainpower into complicated plot twists, murderous congressmen and ruthless journalists?

That’s right, I’m telling you to blow off your significant other for a night of drama and intrigue, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and your comfiest pajamas.

FU5

Okay, so maybe don’t lie to your significant other. But, even if you do, it will all be worth it. Cancel those reservations, put on your slippers, grab your laptop and get ready for Frank’s scandalous bid for the White House.