Your Best Friends at Georgetown

Banner - FriendsWe’ve all heard of the “Georgetown Stereotype.” I’m not so sure there’s only one. I present to you some of the many characters of Georgetown:

The SWUG (Senior Washed-Up Girl) In Training:
No stranger to The Tombs, she can recite the nightly specials by heart. Does she even know that the 99 Days Club is only for seniors? Evidently not. While apathetic to dressing up and personal hygiene, she’s taken up a new interest in wine tasting (which she does on her Village A couch). This girl reminds us that you don’t have to be a senior to be a SWUG.


The Girl Who’s Never NSOver It:
A double legacy, Jane Hoya eats, sleeps, and breaths Georgetown. Don’t be surprised to see a “1789” tattoo on her side. When you go to her pregame, expect to play icebreaker drinking games ~but only if you’re over 21 and in a building which permits alcohol consumption~. She’ll surely facilitate healthy dialogue, reminding you that not all Hoyas drink, and that those who do, do so responsibly. If you get lucky, she’ll even show you how she NSOs.


The Startup Guru:
After securing a modest 50k from family and friends, he dropped out of Georgetown to pursue his startup. He swears he’s going to be a billionaire by 25 and land a spot on Forbes’ “30 Under 30.” What does his startup do? No one really knows. He’ll probably be back next semester.

The MSBro:
President of SigEp, working in finance, he’ll say he didn’t even buy the textbook and then skew the class curve by getting a 100. This guy must secretly hit up Lau when no one’s around. But you just saw him at Chi-Di last night, and at Tombs the night before. Work hard play hard, right?


The Facebook Activist:
Having watched “Veducated” on Netflix, she’s a dedicated vegan of two weeks and determined to spread awareness about her cause. Apparently sharing socially-oriented articles constitutes real activism these days. She’ll send you multiple invites to local protests, which she probably doesn’t attend. This obsession will last for a month until she watches “Blackfish” and becomes determined to save Seaworld’s marine mammals from her MacBook Air.


The Pre-President:
He introduces himself as future “President of the United States” as he aggressively shakes your hand with a forced wide smile. When he enters a room, he nods and points into the distance, acknowledging his many friends, and then waves in the opposite direction. Sometimes you wonder if he is even waving at anyone or just wants to keep up appearances.

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The (Practically) Engaged Couple:
Liz and Ben have been dating ever since they met the during the first day of their pre-orientation program. Still going strong, they’ve reserved a spot for their wedding at Dahlgren Chapel (because you HAVE to do so years in advance). Last week, they posted the cutest couple photos at the Cherry Blossoms and hold hands whenever they walk around campus. They are going to be together forever and ever, and ever, and ev… wait. Ben just DFMOed with Sarah at ChiDi when Liz was at an internship interview in New York? Yeah, I take back what I said. Oh well. #Younglove



Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Ex

Word Wednesday: Tricycle

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noun: tricycle
Definition: an entity formed when the third wheel of a relationship has been embraced, by conscious choice or by happenstance.third-wheel
Example: As the third wheel of the tricycle I’ve already planned a wedding speech for Sara and Ben because no one knows their relationship as well as I do.third_wheel_outer_largeAs we all know, the third wheel of the tricycle is obviously the one in the front, determining the path of the relationship. This leadership comes with great responsibility.
The duties of a third wheel are as follows:
1. Photobombing
Because you’re the poster child of their relationship…
2. Coordinating Group Costumes
Because if you don’t plan it out, no one will…
3. Intrusive Commentary
Because you’re a troll…
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4. Initiating Group Messages
You know… for those times you can’t poke your nose into their relationship from the bottom bunk. Extra points for choosing an awesome group name.
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5. Supporting the couple
Because you are the glue that keeps the relationship together…
Without the third wheel they are just a bicycle, and bicycles topple easily. A tricycle is sturdier and able to stand tall when things slow down in the relationship.
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Relationship is to Bicycle as Relationship+Third Wheel is to Tricycle
And we all know tricycles are way cooler than bicycles, so third wheels: keep on pedaling!

Repurposing Wine Bottles

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As the second semester ends, it’s time to take a break from finals and celebrate. But as much as we all love wine at this classy university, throwing away all of those bottles is not the best for our environment. Instead, try repurposing them to give your home a college vibe that say:  “I’m classy but I also like to have fun, while also being environmentally friendly.” I’m going to share some tools that are helpful for various projects and give some inspiration to make bottles beautiful once again.

How to Split a Glass Bottle

*Warning* Do not attempt without adult supervision (i.e. the supervision of your most parental housemate), and certainly do not attempt after consuming the bottle’s contents… like duh.

Step 1: Gather string, scissors, nail polish remover, a tub of ice water, a match and the bottle of your choice.

Step 2: Braid the string and wrap it around the circumference of the bottle. Tie the string together and cut off the excess. Slip the string off of the bottle and dip it in nail polish remover.

Step 3: Put the string back on the bottle. Make sure to move all of the excess nail polish remover to another side of the room, as it is easily flammable.

Step 4: Hold the bottle over a tub of ice water and hold the match to the string as you rotate the bottle.

Step 5: Quickly submerge the bottle into the tub of ice and the bottle will split at the string.

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With this one tool the world of bottle refurbishing is open to so many possibilities! If you want to cut the bottle at a different location or at an angle, adjust the string as you would like.

One of the simplest ways to reuse a bottle is turning it into a candle holder. Place rocks at the bottom of your new bottle and sit a candle on top. Feel free to leave the label on the bottle for character, especially if it’s Woodbridge, Barefoot or Charles Shaw (so all of your friends know you have expensive taste and a seasoned palate).

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Below are more variations of this concept:

If you don’t want to play with ~fire~ (pun intended), try this less flammable alternative…

I also have some tricks up my sleeve for our Hoyas with green thumbs. Try making a self-watering garden by flipping the top of the bottle inside the bottom and twisting the end of a cloth into a string as shown below.

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Or, you could just use the bottle as a vase.

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Don’t forget about the corks! It’s easy to make mini-magnet plants.

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Cheers and happy recycling!


How to Get a Great Internship


Break out your suits and resume folders because it’s time to find an internship. Perhaps you don’t know how to format your resume or even where to begin? If you want to get offers from your favorite employers, you must set yourself apart from the rest.

So what if Susie has a 4.0? You have personality, and that’s what big companies are looking for. Here’s an example of the ideal resume below:

173 Harbin Hall, Washington, DC 20057; 555-555-5555
(I’m not the best at picking up calls so shoot me a text)


Georgetown University, Washington, DC
Cumulative GPA: Cura Personalis, right?
Major: Computer Science (I haven’t taken a class but I think I like technology and all that so it should be easy)
High School Cumulative GPA: 4.00 (Yup, high school was pretty much my academic peak. I still keep this on my resume to prove that I am smart.)


  • Successfully skipped my 8:00 am Problem of God class 4 Fridays in a row and still got an A. (I can’t let class disrupt my thirsty Thursday festivities)
  • Cumulatively stole 43 chocolate chip cookies, 30 apples and 5 pounds of Special K cereal from Leo’s in one year.
  • Once fit 178 practice problems on a half-page formula sheet for my finance midterm. (#Aced it)


  • Franzia connoisseur. (I can smell the difference between Sunset Blush and White Zinfandel from a mile away. They have quite distinct aromas. If you swish the Sunset Blush around in your red solo cup you can almost smell the oak.)
  • Ask me to sing any Taylor Swift song and I’ll know the lyrics.


  • Photographer (My Instagram has 100 followers)
  • Model (My aforementioned Instagram account only consists of selfies)


  • GU(random letter I forget)A, Social Chair
    • I threw really great parties. (I’m not really sure what the organization actually does though. I haven’t been to many of the meetings.)
  • Freshman Class Committee, Chair                                                                                    
    • Yeah we didn’t really do anything.
    • Planed social and philanthropic events to unite 7,636 undergraduate students and better the Georgetown community.
    • Managed and allocated $2,000 of funding during the 2013- 2014 academic year.


  • Excel, PowerPoint, Microsoft Word (I’m really technologically advanced, hence the Computer Science Major)
  • Spanish (I took it in high school and remember how to say the important things, like enchilada)

So there you have it, Hoyas. Just follow our ready-to-go resume example above, and you’ll never need to visit the Career Center ever again!


A Guide to Participating Without Reading

We all have a huge course load here at Georgetown, and sometimes it’s impossible to do all the assigned class preparation. When it comes down to sleep, food, hygiene, studying for a midterm or reading, one of them has got to go. Please don’t sacrifice your personal hygiene, and follow these tips to skip the reading without anyone noticing:
1. Listen to the first participants: The professor’s first question is generally, “What do you think?” or “Can someone explain the text?”. Bam! There you go… the summary of Romeo and Juliet in two sentences.
2. Stare down your professor: Nod your head whenever the professor looks your way and look deeply into his/her eyes. The more uncomfortable the professor feels, the more participation points you earn.
3. Fake it till you make it: Any time the professor asks a question based on outside knowledge eagerly raise your hand and respond. This will keep up the appearance that you know the answers to questions pertaining to the text.
4. Let the professor participate for you: If the professor asks you a question about the text, draw connections between what was said in class and prior experiences to infer an answer. Keep it short so the professor has to fill in the blanks, and nod to confirm whatever he garnered from your pile of BS.
5. Go beyond the text: Ask clarifying questions which show your desire to reach a deeper understanding of the text. Even though you don’t really know what the text is about, you will seem super philosophical and esoteric.
6. Use fancy terminology no one else knows to seem smarter: When participating, draw on facts from completely unrelated classes to highlight your ability to integrate knowledge from a range of studies. The best part about using fact from other classes is that none else knows if you’re right. For example, if you are a finance major in an ethics class throw in a reference to  the financial crisis and relate it to the topic at hand. Talk about liquidity, credit, subprime brokers and mortgages. Make sure to say stocks and bonds a few times, no one will  know what your talking about and assume its really complicated.
7. Wear thick rimmed glasses: Wear your glasses if you normally wear contacts. If you have perfect vision, hijack your hipster friend’s non-prescription pair. This will increase your perceived intelligence by ten-fold.
8. Quote smart people: Quote a famous person even if you have to make up a quote. No one will call you out, as long as you don’t attribute, “Haters gonna hate” to Thomas Jefferson. Quoting a famous person suggests that you read and reading is, of course, something that smart people do.
9. Take notes: When the professor poses a question you don’t know how to answer, just look down to your notebook and furiously write it down. If you forgot your notebook, write on anything that’s available.


Overall, stay entranced by whatever you are doing at all costs. The professor won’t want to interrupt your train of thought (because you look like you are on the brink of solving the Da Vinci Code) and call on someone else. If these guidelines still aren’t enough to help you get by, you could also always just do the reading.

WORD WEDNESDAY: “Bae” vs. “Side Bae”

12071784_10206766218011218_43930723_nBae is used as a warm word of endearment when referring to a boyfriend, girlfriend or even a Chipotle burrito. Now, an emerging phenomena known as the side bae is sweeping the campus. But how does one define a side bae, and what distinguishes a side bae from a bae? 

Are you your crush’s bae or side bae? 4E is here to settle these pressing questions:

According to the relationship experts, “If you’re in a relationship and worried that your significant other might have a side bae, odds are that it’s you.”


If you’re single or in some sort of confusing modern relationship “thing,” take the quiz below to find out where you stand.

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High School vs. Georgetown


Everyone knows that high school and college are pretty different. From academics to the social scene, they are essentially worlds apart. 4E brings you a few situations that demonstrate this difference perfectly.

Situation 1: Getting an A

High School: *Shoves test in binder*



Situation 2: The “humble brag”

High School: “You’re on chapter 7?! I haven’t even opened the book.”


Georgetown: “You’re on chapter 7?! You better hurry up.  I memorized all the charts and statistics.”

Situation 3: Being Healthy

High School: “I try to eat a balance of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and carbs.”

Georgetown: “I try to eat healthy. Also, I went to Yates last week.”


Situation 4: Needing to do laundry

High School: “Maahhhm!”


Georgetown: “Maybe if I spray it with perfume no one will know…”

Situation 5: Relationships

High School: “After our date he asked if we should make it Facebook official.”

Georgetown: *Swipes you in at Leo’s* “It was essentially a date.”


Situation 6: Trying really hard to cook

High School: *Prepares five course meal.*


Georgetown: *Fails at preparing five course meal.*


*And then resorts to EasyMac*


Situation 7: Being a nerd

High School: “You did the reading? Classic. Such a nerd.”

Georgetown: “That kid always ruins the curve. I heard he co-authored the textbook. What a nerd.”


Situation 8: Netflix and chilling

High School: *text at 6:30 p.m.* “Hey. I have to watch my sister tonight while my parents are gone but want to come over to watch some Netflix and chill?”

Georgetown: *text at 3:30 a.m.* “Netflix and chill;)?”


Situation 9: Waking up early

High School: “I got up at 5 a.m. for swim practice. I’m literally going to die.”

Georgetown: “I have an 8 a.m. class this semester. I’m literally going to die.”


Situation 10: Realistic career expectations

High School: “I’m incredibly passionate about biology, space, and astrophysics. I’m either going to be a physicist or an astronaut. I got a 5 in AP Physics so I’m probably smart enough.”


Georgetown: “I mean, tax law could be interesting.”

Situation 11: Personal Space

High School:


Georgetown: “This should do for now.”


Situation 12: Approaching a crush

High school:


Georgetown: “My crush has got to be on tinder somewhere. It’s only a matter of time.”


Situation 13: Dance parties

High school: “There’s always that one couple…”


Georgetown: “There’s always that one kid..” *Brings entire freshman floor*


College is hard. But, you’ve got to admit, most times it’s better than high school.


Welcome to Rejection Season


Remember back in the good old days (high school) when you were amazing at everything and the president of every organization you joined? Well now you’ve got some competition.

But that’s okay because your acceptance into an “exclusive” Georgetown Organization really has no bearing on your ability to be successful in life or your overall worth as a human being. I promise.

So now I’m just going to be a bitter reject and poke fun at my favorite Georgetown organizations out of love. I’ve compiled a inbox with standard rejection emails for you to enjoy. It’s a fun little game I just invented called guess the organization.

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