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STOP IT: Texting and Walking

The influential and notable entity of The Fourth Edition hereby declares a petition to end the epidemic of texting and walking (otherwise referred to as “twalking”) currently plaguing our beloved campus, indefinitely, commencing February 5th. There are myriad reasons you should consider joining our movement against “twalking”:

Disclaimer: This was not us.

1. Basic human decency.

This should go without saying, but, if you need an authority figure to remind you why you shouldn’t text and walk, here you go:

2. Your safety.

Distracted mobility is dangerous. In 2016, the number of pedestrians killed by motorists because they were distracted jumped by 16 percent!

3. The environment.

The world is beautiful and, at the rate we are going, it may not be this way for long. It is crucial that you look at the grass and leaves while you can.

4. Public health.

Just going to leave this here for you…

Now, what to do if you catch a “twalker” in the act: 

1. Walk directly in their line of movement. 

They will either crash into you or correct their path while maybe becoming aware of their wrongdoing.

2. Yell!

Did you know there is no law on the books against yelling? You can just do it whenever, wherever.

Alas, maybe you look at your phone as a coping mechanism for your social anxiety. Maybe you just like to irritate every other person walking in front of, beside or behind you. Don’t worry. You still have options.

1. Disguise 

If burying yourself in your phone makes you feel more comfortable as you move about the world, perhaps try a disguise. Sunglasses, big hats and scarves are all good options for avoiding people you know and staying hidden to people you don’t.

2. Disguise 2.0

Maybe you’re the opposite. You twalk because you like to be obnoxious.  You could try this. People might actually enjoy it more than your distracted stumbles.

Or, if you’re looking for something a little more subtle, maybe try a mask.


Please join our movement and spread the word. Together we will create a safer world.

– Your friends at 4E. 

Photos/Gifts: giphy.com, facebook.com, youtube.com, npr.com

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Worst Nightmares as a TedX Speaker

Georgetown’s latest TedX conference is this Saturday, October 28th (register here for free!), and we here at 4E have the ~inside scoop~. Our very own Jenna Clifford (me) will be speaking. How did this happen? Was it a mistake? It very well could have been, but my 15 minutes are locked in and, until someone confirms his or her mishap, I will be stumbling to the top of Gaston stage this Saturday. In addition to my realization of this mistake, I wanted to take the time to share some of my worst nightmares regarding this coming weekend. Here it goes:

  1.  FALLING


    **Sneak peek of my talk**: I did, indeed, fall face-first down the career center’s stairs after a consulting interview. Thus, there is a very real possibility that it could happen again. If it does, please laugh with me rather than acting like it didn’t happen while I collect myself and walk the rest of the way out of the building while all the audience’s silent gaze stares me down.

  2. A Freudian Slip


    Did you ever call your teacher, “mom?” I have to remember my entire speech, AND my mom is going to be there … for a solid 15 minutes of potential word slips.

  3. Did I mention my mom is coming?


 Honestly, I’m not sure what’s worse: that she is going to have time alone with my friends, or that my friends will have time alone with her. The potentially embarrassing possibilities are endless. We’ll see how this goes.

BUT, YEAH, REGISTER HERE TODAY

Editor’s Note: 4E is so incredibly proud to have one of our own grace TedX’s stage. Even if you fall down and accidentally call us “Mom,” we still love you, Jenna! Photos/Gifs: writtenbyniki.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com, the hoya.com

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BREAKING: Boy Scouts to Welcome Girls!

To all of the little girls out there that ever dreamed of becoming an Eagle Scout: today is your day. The Boy Scouts of America have officially stated that they will welcome girls to join the club. We here at 4E have the exclusive perspective from our favorite King Supreme Almighty Boy scout himself — Forrest Gertin (SFS ’20), Chief of the Order of the Arrow of the Boy Scouts of the World!

(Here’s a pic of us during this interview! *fake news*)

Jenna: Hi Forrest, thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to answer some questions about this big transition, and congratulations!  

Forrest: Hi Jenna! This is a welcome break from econ. I’m glad to be here with you!

Jenna: How long have you been working on this effort and why was it important to you?

Forrest: The conversation about opening Scouting to young women began this spring, when several key stakeholders in the Boy Scouts of America started to pursue that goal. I started working on it before our National Annual Meeting in May, when I gave a speech in support of the initiative. It was a big step, but I think the movement needed to hear, “Girls should have the opportunity to be Eagle Scouts” from a younger Eagle Scout. It really opened the door for our task force this summer, and as a result of that task force we made the recommendation that the BSA should move forward towards implementation. And now we’re doing it! 

I won’t say it was a totally unselfish move — I’d be really proud if my little sister, Jillian, were to become an Eagle Scout.

Jenna: Truly incredible. Riddle me this … will the Boy Scouts still be the “Boy” Scouts if girls are around? Has there been any discussion of a name change?

Forrest: That’s certainly a point of major discussion within the Boy Scouts. I think you’ll see a name change or rebranding as we phase into a more inclusive era. Personally, I’m a fan of calling everyone “Scouts” regardless of gender.

Jenna: I see, I see. One last question, before you go: are there any other big changes on the horizon that you are cleared to share with 4E readers??

Forrest: One change that’s on the horizon is a major regime change. I won’t be the chief next year! On December 28, I’ll pass the role on to the next guy who gets elected…and maybe he or his successor will pass it to a young woman!

Jenna: Amazing, Forrest! Thank you for your service.

Forrest: Thanks, Jenna!

Photos: scoutingnewsroom.org

Interview: Forrest Gertin, SFS ’20

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Dating App: Bio Do’s and Don’ts

Have you heard? Dating apps are in. And, we here at 4E are into it.

While older generations and predominant coffee-shop narratives of first sight romance might be disturbed by the rising persistence of online dating, we see the perks:

1. Safety

YES, safety.  Despite your Mom’s concern that dating apps are creepy because ~strangers~, meeting someone online often allows you to validate the person’s existence through mutual friends, Facebook, even Linkedin, before meeting them in person. On the other hand, the guy that chatted you up on the street could be the type of dangerous that is straight out of a pyscho-killer-thriller movie.

2. Efficiency

While spontaneous human connection can be fun and romantic, dating apps give you a chance to determine whether or not you find a person attractive and nice, before agreeing to commit an entire lunch to them.

**This of course not always 100% effective and does not guarantee that the date won’t be horrible, but it has marginal benefits.

3. Opportunity

Whether you love to hate or hate to love our fast-paced technology-infused modern world, dating norms are shifting from away traditional courtship. This is, in part, because we are busy, and often driven by our own goals and pursuits that can make finding time for genuine connection hard. Dating apps can help you fast forward to seek out whatever type of human connection it is that you’re after.

**This is starting to sound like we are entering an era of robots and commodified intimacy, which is horribly concerning.

Anyway, for those of you looking to dabble in the online dating world or those already knee-deep, you may be wondering what to put in your profile. This is tricky, indeed. It is the opportunity to make a wonderful first impression or turn someone away immediately.

For your reference, we have compiled a list of “Profile Types” and categorized them as Dislike (AKA swipe left), Like (AKA swipe right), and for the Tinder goers, Superlike (We 10/10 would recommend).

Dislike

The Recycler

To all of the Michael Scott fanatics out there, we get it. And, we’re with you. But observation (unsupported by real data) has it that 80% of you use this line. What are you trying to say, anyway? You want us to take the shot and message you? Be more creative.

This series of references, too, is rather overused. We appreciate the creativity, and honesty, but this additional information is just not going to sway our decision to give you a shot. Put it away.

The Honest and Arrogant Type

Does this ever actually work?! We appreciate the honesty, but even if another person is also not interested in your ex and is too, mainly on Tinder for the opportunity for physical intimacy, we don’t think this is the turn on to motivate that encounter. Try again.

The Poorly Produced Pick-Up Line Guy

Pick up lines can be charming, but texting and driving is reckless. Do better.

The Weird, in a Bad Way Dude

Do you get it? We don’t. Regardless if  this is a song lyric, the image of mayonnaise in not inspiring us to pursue an introduction.  

The Cringe-Worthy

We respect your hard work, but we’re not here for your dolla bills. Well, most of us.

Like (Not great, but not a deal-breaker)

The Short and Sweet One

Not a super clever bio, but no red flags. And, just enough information to make inquiries without feeling like there is nothing left to get to know about this person.

The Genuine Guy

This boy gets points for being a good grandson and a sweetie. He states his motives, provides hints of personal information and is friendly.

The Combo

So maybe he’s a bit of a recycler, but he combined his references with some genuine information. Worth a shot.

The Aspiring Stay at Home Dad

 Again, he’s okay. Enough information to have an inkling about his character. However, to all the girls and guys out there that care about height… (eye roll) this one always brings out the attitude.

Super like
(If we were on the fence before, this sealed the deal)

Clever and Concise 

Okay, neither of these are stellar- but, a good sense of humor and a to the point message are rarely a deal breaker.

Other ideas: The real rare gems are those that take effort, creativity, and commitment. Two examples include: the dating resume and the date application. More to come on how to go above and beyond creating these, in a later post!

Editor’s note: The author apologizes that this post takes a very heteronormative and gender conforming approach to personal branding: these suggestions are limited to the profiles of men looking for women. 

Gifs: giphy.com

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Who Says You Can’t Wear White After Labor Day? Congress is Doing it.

4E here with some unbeknownst fashion advice.

You can wear white after labor day.

Turns out that this silly little rule stems from fashion-elite-stas of the 1900s who reserved white for their summer vacays, which apparently lasted from Memorial Day all the way to Labor Day (Is this not America, people?! We werk.).

Goodness forbid that in the months before and after this extended vacation, they wear these clothes in the real world (not to mention the other ~rules~ regarding white like the “purity” trope, wedding dresses and all other things generated by social constructions like implicit gender roles, the patriarchy, etc.).

So what about black? These days, white is in. In a nod to suffragists, the members of the Women’s Working Group brought out their ivories, creams, and off-whites last night at President Trump’s address to Congress. 

Turns out white is the new statement piece.

AND it’s a non-partisan trend. If Hillary and Ivanka can sport it, everyone else that falls between the left, right, straight, backwards and undefined can too.

 

Photos: CNN, US News and US Magazine

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Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

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Georgetown Provides Complimentary Feminine Hygiene Products

We have good news and bad news (and some alternative news, but we’ll save that for later):

If you were born with ovaries, you’ve likely experienced a period. If you’re a man, you likely haven’t, but maybe if you’re lucky you’ve heard about ’em. Maybe you’re even a menstrual-cycle sympathizer that has made a girlfriend a period mix-tape, provided a shoulder for an emotional friend to cry on or tread a little lighter around a sister when you it was “that time of the month.”

Did you know? The unfortunate scientific fact is that for about half of us periods are a reality. And with them comes stained clothes, constant trips to the bathroom and expensive feminine hygiene products.

Did you also know that feminine products are taxed by the U.S. government as a luxury item?

 

Yes it’s true. Politifact confirms that many states make it easier for men to deal with erectile dysfunction than they do for women to get tampons. Not great news for gender equality. But we do have some good news.

GEORGETOWN HAS RECOGNIZED PERIOD STRIFE!

Feminine products are being distributed for FREE on campus!

(Spotted in the Lau 3 Reading Room’s women’s room)

THANKS, GEORGETOWN! 

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, Jenna Clifford

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The Women’s March on Washington: Everything You Need To Know

You may have heard that this Friday, the 20th of January, 2017, The Donald will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States. You definitely have heard that this monumental day has sparked anxiety and arguments across our nation and our world. It seems that a vast array of the President-elect’s former statements on little things like (let’s just name the R’s for brevity’s sake)  Race, Russia, and Rosie O’Donnell, to name a few, have left sums of people experiencing a range of emotions from outrage  to fear, to complete and absolute bewilderment. Many of these people belong to organizations that advocate for human rights, but others are those who are simply able to acknowledge basic human rights and threats to them.

You need to know that this Saturday, the 21st of January, upwards of tens of thousands of women are expected to gather in D.C. for the Women’s March on Washington. The Women’s March is not about Trump. It is instead about the many identities he fails to represent in both his decisions and his lived experiences.

Whether you’re attending in D.C., one of the hundreds of sister marchers around the planet, or there in spirit and solidarity…

Here’s everything you need to know:

Who: Originally created by a retired grandmother in Hawaii, the Women’s March has been taken on be activists and celebrities and grass-root organizers across the country. Over 40,000 people are expected to be in attendance in Washington on Saturday and hundreds of other marches are set to run in solidarity.

Why: Leaders of the March state that its purpose is to send a bold message on the very first day of Trump’s presidency that people are watching him, ready to advocate for their rights, safety, health, and families. (A full list of the principles they seek to protect can be found here with definitions).

What: While it is called the “Women’s March,” the purpose of the March is to advocate for a wide intersection of identities (see Vox’s explanation of Intersectionality here) that have been threatened by Trump’s statements and decisions. All who believe in equal rights are encouraged to attend.

Where: The official March will be starting off at the intersection of Independence Ave. and Third Street S.W.
Sites for the 616 and counting sister marches around the country can be found here.

When: Saturday, January 21th, 2017. The D.C. March begins with a rally from 10:00 AM-1:15 PM. The march will commence shortly afterwards.

How: The March has secured permits and protection from the city and will be put on through the help of volunteers. For up-to-date events and notifications download the app!

SEE YOU THERE!

Photos: womensmarch.com 

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Throwback Thursday: Trump’s Presidential Bid

TBT Trump

More than a year ago today, on June 16, 2015, Donald J. Trump, the real estate mogul and reality TV star announced his presidential bid.

Fast forward some thirteen months, during which we’ve witnessed 403 spins of the earth, the development of Pokémon Go, the death of Prince, the continued rise of ISIS and the welcomed emergence of Mac n’ Cheetos, to the past few days… On July 21, 2016, our favorite head of hair to mock and its owner, Donald J. Trump, accepted the official GOP nomination for President of the United States.

Going back to a Mac n’ Cheetos-less time around a year ago, Trump’s bid announcement was met by many a comedic tweet. It is safe to say that since this spike in media coverage, the success of his campaign has come as somewhat of a surprise to many here in America and around the world. Let us go back to that fateful day in June of 2015 and ponder the things we would have thought to be just as feasible as Trump winning the nomination.

We would colonize Mars. While seemingly unlikely, this idea isn’t too far-fetched. Rumor has it: kids are already in training to be the first astronauts to go… or maybe this is just the making of the next Punk’d. Sound familiar?

A video game would infiltrate time and space.  Again, unlikely, but not unwarranted. To the surprise of parents and even global political leaders, Pokémon Go has made getting outside and playing video games at the same time a possibility.

Pigs would fly. While it may be physically impossible for pigs to grow wings and take off flying, it is likely that at some point today, a live pig will be on an airplane.

Britney Spears would make an unparalleled comeback rising to the top of the charts and maintaining her position as World Pop Idol for 100 days. This too, could happen.

Rather outlandish for sure, but not outside the realm of possibilities. There are many things we thought more feasible than the rise of Donald J. Trump. Moral of the story: Continue to think out-of-the-box, and before you know it, your dream/nightmare may very well become reality.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, www.cnn.com

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25 Reasons Epi is the New Tombs this Summer

Epi Is New Tombs this summer

A momentous and unruly Georgetown tradition has been forever changed. Well, for the summer, at least. The Tombs has officially closed for renovations and with it many a 21st birthdays, forehead stamps, and traditions suspended until further notice. For many Hoyas, alum, and locals alike, this is an utter tragedy. The night so many have looked forward to, counted down, and dreamed about has been flipped on its head. Left in despair, many of those may be wondering what ever will they do?!

 

EPI!!!!

Here are your 25 reasons Epi is the new Tombs this summer:

1. Quesadillas. ‘Nuf said. 

2. Doctors. They have a tendency to be young, attractive, and scattered around Epi given its close proximity to their place of employment at the hospital.

3. $3.25 pizza. Mhmmm. 

4. The lighting. It’s a bit bright in the main area, but the dark bar provides a nice fun contrast. 

5. The dance floor. What, you didn’t know they had one? Turns out the opening between the two rooms is a great place to break it down. 

6. The diversity. Undergrads, grad students, drunk freshman, hospital staff, and Georgetown staff: it’s really just a great array of community. 

7. The playlist. Epi has jamz! 

 

8. The Darnall geotag. That is all. 

9. The hospital. You should never drink past your limit, but on your 21st, there is an even greater tendency for a person to seek medical attention. For this reason, there’s nothing better than a bar that shares a parking lot with a hospital!

10. Burleith. Two words: close proximity. 

11. Epi mems. You’re sure to have a ton. Why not add to the archival of weird Epi happenings thus far?

12. Drunk underclassman. They’re great to watch, truly. 

13. Free water. >>>>>.

 

14. Exclusive bar. Feel special in your own 21+ room while your underage friends stay close by.

15. Tombs is closed. NEXT! 

16. Epi has milkshakes.

17. And condiments. A vast and endless selection of condiments. 

18. Those round tables. Nothing says party like a circular table where you can sit and view all of your friends, and the other room only has rectangular tables. 

19. Underage friends. No longer must they mourn your departure at the door, but they can be at hand to help you walk and take part in your debauchery (well, from afar). 

20. Sushi bar. 

21. Henle. Proximity, proximity, proximity. 

22. Epi aesthetic. It’s just one of a kind. 

23. People watching. More of the above. 

24. You can customize your grilled cheese sandwich.

25. Epi rocks. Let’s be honest: It’s up there with The Tombs. Well, at least in the opinion of an underage person who has never been.

…

Alas, there’s just one small catch….

 

Epi closes at 10:30 during the summer. Didn’t we almost have it all?

Gifs: giphy.com, https://www.thehoya.com