My Love-Hate Relationship With the Georgetown Men’s Basketball Program

Now that the madness of March has subsided, let’s just say my basketball bracket barely made it out alive. My predictions were severely busted in the first round by random upsets, like when 15 seed Oral Roberts swiftly knocked down Ohio State (which I wasn’t necessarily mad about). One upset that I was relying on that devastated both me and my bracket was Georgetown vs. Colorado. For no reason except for blind faith, I had Georgetown winning the championship and my max points dropped faster than a scandalous Youtuber’s subscriber count. This loss was one of the many times that the Georgetown men’s basketball team has ripped my heart out. 🎵Heart been broke so many times I don’t know what to believe …🎵

Live footage of me watching the Georgetown vs. Colorado game.
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As for the other times when Georgetown basketball broke my heart, I still remember the 2013 tragedy when Georgetown (a literal number 2 seed) embarrassed themselves by losing to Florida Gulf Coast University (FGCU) A 15 SEED. When it became clear that Georgetown was not coming back, my siblings and I creatively and immaturely renamed Florida Gulf Coast as Fart Gas for short. My 11-year-old self thought that the best way to cope was to make bathroom jokes. To be fair, I was largely influenced by my immature 15-year-old brother, who still maintains the same sense of humor today as a 23-year-old. 

How I feel about Fart Gas University.
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The icing on the cake was when Otto Porter Jr. left the same year for the NBA. For absolutely no reason at all, I felt personally betrayed by him leaving. I fell off the Georgetown basketball train after that year. I would casually watch, but I didn’t get into it as aggressively or inappropriately nickname any other teams … until this year. 

Otto might be happy here, but I bet he wouldn’t be if he knew he devastated an 11-year-old girl in 2013.
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I may not have come up with any creative nicknames for teams that were beating us this season, but that didn’t stop me from screaming at the TV. Although we were destroyed in the tournament this year, at least we made it! And nothing can take away our Big East Championship OR the fact that we beat VillaNOfun on the road to the ’ship.

How I would be acting if I ever came close to the Big East Championship trophy.
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Big news recently is that Qudus Wahab (34) entered the NCAA transfer portal. Just another example of Georgetown letting me down. I was in shock when all the Instagram posts starting rolling in and I am still struggling to come to terms with it as I write this. It’s like going through a breakup but worse because I have never been through a breakup but this is the fourth Georgetown player to leave in the past two seasons. It was hard enough to witness the team lose three players in 2019-20 before I even went to school here.

*Cough* Traitor. *Cough*
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I am genuinely so curious to know why he’s leaving, so I might have to do some undercover investigative reporting. My usual stalking skills will not be much help considering that in my preliminary research I found @bola_dee_baller (Wahab’s Instagram account) had disabled all comments. Kinda sus if you ask me. It’s like he knew people would be unhappy with his decision when the news came out. …

I WILL be getting to the bottom of this.
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I know it’s not healthy for me to base my mental stability on a team that has only let me down, but I also know I will be transferring if Dante Harris ever enters the transfer portal or the NCAA draft (just don’t tell my parents). Actually, I was texting people that I would transfer DURING that embarrassing performance against Colorado in the tournament, so I guess it’s not hard to send me over the edge. 

How I felt for weeks after the Colorado game.
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I am honestly surprised that I have remained such a strong supporter of Georgetown basketball after all these years considering all of the times they have devastated me. My expectations are simply too high after growing up hearing my dad romanticize the golden days of Georgetown basketball in the ’80s. Maybe we will work our way back there (hopefully within my four years at Georgetown), but if this year taught me anything, it’s to not get my hopes up.

The pep talk I give myself when watching Georgetown basketball.
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Let’s hope next season does not disappoint (for the sake of my mental stability), because my expectations are higher than Dikembe Mutombo’s jumps — solely based on the strength of our recruiting class. A toxic personality trait of mine is going around bragging to people that we have the No. 6 recruiting class in the nation even if they don’t care. They honestly should care, so that sounds like their problem.

The typical response I get when I ask people if they want to hear me talk about Georgetown basketball.
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Header Image: ASSOCIATED PRESS

10 Things You May or May Not Know About “The Bachelor”

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Will you enjoy reading this article? The answer to both of these questions is yes.

My roommates and my sister have recently gotten me hooked on watching “The Bachelor,” and I quickly became obsessed. As season 25 (it’s really been going on that long?) comes to a close, here are 10 crazy things I learned that you may or may not know about “The Bachelor.” 

1. Contestants are completely removed from the outside world.

Most people who know even a little bit about “The Bachelor” know that the producers cut contestants off from the outside world. I originally took this as, “Oh they can’t go on Instagram. Boohoo.” Turns out, it’s so much worse than that. They do not have access to phones, TV, music, magazines or even BOOKS. Not being allowed to have books kind of caught me off guard, but they don’t seem like the type to read anyway. You even have to be granted permission to watch a movie. But if the producers didn’t cut these girls completely off from the world, how would they get so bored that they stir up the most toxic drama for fun? I mean, that is the whole point of the show.

2. Rose ceremonies are at 2 a.m.

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Yea, at 2 a.m. Sheesh. A girl needs her beauty sleep.

I mean it only makes sense because obviously it’s the best lighting. Enough said.

3. There is an extensive packing list AND YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED THREE SUITCASES!

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Live footage of me trying to cram all of my earthly belongings into two suitcases before Georgetown ripped my heart out.

This sounds eerily similar to when Georgetown ~recommended~ that first-years only bring two suitcases to campus in the fall (rip first fall and spring lol). I am having flashbacks to this past summer, and I just know that my fellow first-years are too. Imagine the anxiety of trying to stuff 14 formal dresses and nine weeks of clothes, makeup and shoes into three suitcases. Bleh, I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

4. They have to buy all of their own clothes. 

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Yea, all those items shoved into three suitcases must be purchased by the contestant. One bachelorette took out a second mortgage to buy $8,000 worth of clothes for the show, which, according to math from Abigail Weintz’s lovely article is equivalent to approximately 894 Wisey’s Chicken Madness sandwiches. Personally, I would prefer those sandwiches to the minimum 14 fancy dresses needed for the rose ceremonies on top of all the outfits for dates. But, hey, they are looking for the love of their life, their one “true” person, so maybe it is worth it. Or maybe its worth is that they can become an influencer for three years and then fall back into oblivion. *Looks around* Who said that???

5. There are some “suggestions” for what you should and shouldn’t wear.

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This is what the show would look like if the contestants were allowed to wear solid white.

These strong suggestions include stripes, small checkered patterns, big patterns, solid white, and honestly anything else the producers just don’t like. While contestants would never be told that something doesn’t look good, the producers will suggest that they change “because their outfit does not translate well on camera.” I bet the producers word it that way so that they don’t unleash the wrath of these emotionally unstable women by saying their outfits are ugly.

6. They become beauticians overnight.

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This would be me, embarrassing myself on national television because of my lack of makeup and hair knowledge.

After the producers cheaped out on providing wardrobe, I shouldn’t be surprised that they do not provide hair or makeup, but I still am. I can’t imagine being on camera LITERALLY ALL THE TIME with my current knowledge of makeup that matches the skill of a middle schooler. One girl even hired a professional makeup artist to teach her tips and tricks before she went on the show. Maybe I should consider that if I ever hit rock bottom and audition to be on “The Bachelor.”

7. There is a two drink per hour rule.

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Seems like some people have been breaking that rule. …

The perfect amount to spice up life in the mansion, without any of these ladies drinking too much and stirring up drama. We wouldn’t want that, now would we?

8. They don’t eat on camera.

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I mean, Patrick looks kinda cute here eating on camera.

Apparently it’s too loud for the cameras and “nobody wants to see that.” I mean they’re right — I personally would not like to see that. But I also think that eating in front of your potential soulmate is a very telling experience. They just eat all sad and alone in their rooms before all of the dates. #depressing

9. And don’t forget about your mandatory psych evaluation.

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This GIF is literally from “Bachelor in Paradise,” which is a more chaotic spin-off of “The Bachelor.”

I definitely have some questions about this one. It makes me wonder if they do the psych eval just to find the most unstable people and throw them in a house to see what happens. Maybe they need a more comprehensive evaluation considering the many irrational behaviors that occur in just one episode.

10. Chris Harrison, the host of “The Bachelor,” was fired (low key)

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Harrison will not return to host the next season of “The Bachelorette,” and he has been replaced by Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe. It is unclear if ABC will allow him to return in future seasons, but it seems to me that Chris was dumped and is unable to accept it because he keeps saying how this is not the end. Although Harrison has already been replaced (by two fantastic women nonetheless — I actually know nothing about them, BUT the bar is just so low), I think a better choice would have been Ted Cruz for three reasons…

1. He is soon out of a job.

2. He is equally if not more problematic than Chris Harrison.

3. The entire “Bachelor” franchise radiates major Republican vibes, so Ted will fit in just fine.

However, “The Bachelor” has been safer during the pandemic. 🙄 Contestants had to be tested every third day for COVID during the 2020-21 seasons. Can Ted Cruz say the same? The contestants also quarantined before appearing on the show. Can Cruz say the same before he jetted off to Mexico? (Chris Harrison broke quarantine though🤭 and was temporarily replaced by JoJo Fletcher.) In all honesty, who would Chris Harrison’s replacement be if he didn’t also display problematic actions as a public figure?

I hope you enjoyed learning about some crazy things about “The Bachelor” and didn’t lose any brain cells in the process.