@#$%&! Sucks

This past summer, I spent a chunk of my time in [REDACTED]. It’s a beautiful but alarmingly small town on the West Coast. The locals celebrate its size and boast of the 64 permanent residents in the winter season when tourism has died down. The most interesting thing about it, however, is probably the stickers you see adorning every reusable water bottle, bike rack, sketchbook or car bumper: “[REDACTED] Sucks! Tell Your Friends!”

Think of this place as the Voldemort of towns. “The town that shall not be named.” Inhabitants and visitors alike are advised to tell no one of its existence, let alone its name, regardless of how breathtaking it may be. I mean, it’s no secret that the West Coast has some of the most picturesque mountains, rivers and starry nights. But is that reason enough to gatekeep what it has to offer? 

This town answers with a resounding yes. The small population means that the environment has time to heal after a busy summer season, that the land will remain unattractive to wealthy developers and that it won’t become the next Jackson Hole, WY, a mountain paradise for the wealthy that was once a hidden gem for climbers and skiers alike. 

We’re already seeing the impact of developing what was once a rarely unknown area in Sun Valley, Idaho. What was once a secret ski haven for the best of the best is becoming a mountain town for the U.S. elite and now has a median home listing price of almost $1 million. Even more, the housing market is trending up around 11% every single year. 

As a guide for Georgetown’s Outdoor Education organization, I have learned to treat nature with respect. In pedagogical terms, the practice is called “Leave No Trace.” There are seven main principles: 

  1. Plan and prepare
  2. Walk on durable surfaces
  3. Dispose of waste
  4. Take only pictures, and leave only footprints
  5. Use designated fire sites
  6. Be respectful of wildlife
  7. Have friendly trail etiquette

Essentially, leaving no trace means leaving no impact on the natural environment. One of the largest problems facing conservationists today is the dichotomy between disruptive outdoor recreation and restoration efforts. As stated in a majority of Outdoor Education excursions, we must be respectful of nature not merely for our sake, but for the sake of others, so that they may partake in the abundance of outdoor spaces as well.

[REDACTED] is most certainly a town that appreciates Leave No Trace (LNT), and the residents try to incorporate it into their daily routine in almost every way possible. Whether it be biking to and from work, drinking everything out of a Nalgene or sleeping in tents or cars for the entire summer, they care deeply about [REDACTED]. And they want you to care too. 

How can you care? Don’t go there. Simple. If no one talks about [REDACTED], visits [REDACTED] or posts about [REDACTED], then [REDACTED] won’t fall victim to multi-million dollar housing development, experience overexploitation of the natural resources or have residents that fail to practice LNT in a meaningful way.

Ideally, everyone would be able to go there. I want you to go there. But if the summer tourists to [REDACTED] cannot follow LNT, as the visitors of Jackson Hole and Sun Valley so expertly demonstrate, then how can I justify sharing [REDACTED]. I can’t. 

In fact, never mind. It’s not beautiful. It’s boring. There’s nothing to even do. I don’t even know why you’d want to go. Genuinely. [REDACTED] sucks. Tell your friends!

2 out of 3

I’m finishing my second year at Georgetown University. Out of three. It sounds pretentious, maybe boastful, but to me, it’s more surprising than anything. I came to Georgetown when I was so unsure of myself, what my college experience may be or what my future would look like. Almost two years since my acceptance, so much has happened. 

For perspective, I graduated from high school in the beginning of the pandemic, May 2020. I had visited Georgetown once before and had no idea what it would have in store. After an incredibly tumultuous summer of missed opportunities, I moved to Cape Cod, then Washington, D.C., and then back home all in the span of three months. I waited with the world as we anticipated an end to whatever reality had been thrust upon us, and three months later, I was vaccinated.

In an almost pathetic sense, I think the feeling I have experienced most in the past two years has been false hope. Betrayal. Hesitance. Whatever the word may be, I haven’t stopped waiting for the second shoe to drop since March 2020. My walls are up. For example, two weeks ago, when the university mask mandate was optional, I got COVID-19 two days after and spent 10 days in isolation. Now the mandate is back. I’m cautious going around every corner, and I’m even more cautious to be hopeful about the future. 

It’s incredibly bittersweet to think that I only have a year left. Two semesters to go. Two stressful registration sessions. Two finals seasons. Two. It may feel like the most formidable task at the beginning, but the school year genuinely flies. And I worry. Not about what the future holds, but what it does not. I won’t be walking at graduation with peers my age. I won’t have a repertoire of fond memories at The Tombs. I won’t have random moments laughing with friends, spending time doing nothing. 

It is what I wanted, having taken so many advanced classes in high school. I wanted to have a leg up. I wanted to be ahead of the game. I wanted to be that girl: the one who sets herself up for success. But now, I’m scared to think that maybe that girl is missing out. Things seem to have finally settled down after two long years, and I’m comfortable. I’m happy. But I can also list the times in the past two years when I’ve felt the same, only to have the rug pulled from under me. Part of me wants to stay, part of me does not think it’s worth the tuition to stay, but another part of me is scared to get comfortable again. I don’t want those feelings of uncertainty to have plagued my time at college, but I fear this plague is unavoidable, that I will truly never know Georgetown in a loving, intimate way.

Maybe it’s because I never had an accepted students day. Maybe it was starting my freshman year online. Maybe it was cycling among friend groups, trying to find my glass slipper, but it never fit quite right, not until now. Nothing I can do will change what my time here at Georgetown has looked like, but maybe an extra year would. Regardless, I think I’ll be okay knowing that 2 out of 3 was the best I could do.

Too Hot To Handle: Celebrity Edition

It’s been a long winter; I’m trudging through campus, freezing and dreading every time I have to walk to the fourth floor of the Edmund A. Walsh Building. Mentally, however, I’m in Turks and Caicos, partying it up with a robotic cone named Lana. That’s right; if you’re like me, you’ve been watching the new season of “Too Hot to Handle” (THTH), and all I can think about is, “What if I got to cast the show with all my favorite celebrities?” Thus, I give you my fan cast of “Too Hot to Handle: Celebrity Edition.”

Disclaimer: I do not care if they are in a relationship. This is for my own personal entertainment.

Justin Bieber

Starting off with a great one and my personal middle school crush. He may have a wife, but if there’s anything that screams THTH, it’s bringing on a Canadian cast member and pretending they’re exotic. Plus, Justin went through a big playboy phase, and maybe we’d get to see this side of him on the show. He can talk about his past mistakes and form real connections by talking about his troubles with his previous relationship.

Khloe Kardashian

I don’t know about you, but I think Khloe deserves some THTH. After that clown of an ex-boyfriend clowned around again, Khloe is ready to let loose and break some hearts. “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami Pt. 2” anyone?? (except Kourtney isn’t there, and it’s in Turks and Caicos). She can dish about True, traumas and tea with her new beau while Lana reminds everyone that there’s no funny business allowed. Bible. 

Jacob Elordi

Will America’s TV villain win us over with his genuine personality? Everyone knows that Elordi, Aussie heartthrob, plays notorious asshole Nate Jacobs on Euphoria, but can he push himself to play his biggest role yet, his true self? Only time, and Lana, will tell.

Demi Lovato

Demi is the chaotic, nonbinary representation we, and Lana, need. Demi is known for not only their talent, but also their quirkiness. Will they cross the line and break some rules? Or will they scare potential partners off with ghost stories and alien abductions? Maybe “Met Him Last Night” has two meanings…

Dominic Fike

Am I simultaneously watching “Euphoria?” Obviously. But I do think Dominic would add some flare to this season, and he’d be a much better musician than Patrick. After breaking into singing as well as acting, Fike has earned a name for himself among Generation Z as an artist on the rise. Even better, how many times have we heard girls gawking at the guys with tattoos?? He and Justin may have to duke it out for this title, but the more drama the better. 

Bella Thorne

Bella is our wildcard. She can “Shake It Up” on the season as a new player added on episode 4, breaking hearts and relationships alike. The OnlyFans record breaker knows no limits when it comes to getting what she wants, ranging from a New York Times bestselling book to a music career. Bella is more than just a talented woman, she’s also known for her whirlwind romances. Maybe she’ll even get engaged on the show as a THTH first? 

Timothée Chalamet

Every season needs the awkward boy who ends up coupled with no one, and I’m sorry to say that I think that’s going to be Timmy. Not only does he remind me of Peter from season 2, but all I think about when I think about him is the video where he says if he were to be a movie genre, he would be “Sports Star! Swish!” Sure the teens of TikTok may fawn over him, but Timmy is definitely getting sent home on episode 7 for failing to create a deeper connection.

Tana Mongeau

It’s not just the fact that Tana and Bella are exes that would make good TV, it’s that Tana knows how to market herself. Marrying Jake Paul in Vegas, getting her exes to tattoo her name all over them and launching her own drink line all help establish her wild, eccentric brand. She would be a sex-positive, fun-loving addition to the cast and could even be the reason Timmy comes out of his shell on the show. Wilder things have happened on THTH.

School and The City: Midterm Blues

There’s something cool about being a “blogger.” It’s casual, intimate, quick. But our posts here at the 4E don’t always give you a glimpse into the person behind the screen. I’m here to change that. I bring to you the inaugural edition of “School and the City,” a column in which I tell you everything about all things Georgetown.

Now if inspiration had struck me a couple months earlier, maybe you’d be hearing about the highs and lows of moving in, joining clubs and making friends. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead, it’s post-Halloweekend on top of the dreaded second wave of midterms, and I can’t help thinking, “How is such a festive time so stressful?” I was supposed to be going out from Thursday to Sunday, each night sporting a different — but equally quirky and sexy — costume at a different “no questions asked” bar in Adams Morgan. This was in no way, shape or form bound to happen. I have to work my part-time job every day this weekend, study for two midterms on Monday and continue applying for clubs. 

That’s the thing about Georgetown. You don’t go to a selective school and expect it to be unicorns and rainbows all the time. Ask anyone, and I promise they’ll tell you that. Still, it sure would be great if it were easier sometimes. No one talks about how demoralizing it can be on the Hilltop. The competition doesn’t end, and neither does the work. Lately, I feel myself being pulled in every direction and forced to sacrifice my social life for the work-heavy lifestyle that almost every student here is forced to adopt, which is definitely very far from the whole “college is a movie” thing I’ve heard so much about. 

I went away that weekend (in between work of course). This was my fourth time going away from campus in the 11 or so weeks we’ve been here. Honestly, it’s such a breath of fresh air. Regardless of everything I do like about this school, sometimes it’s nice to go to a frat party where no one asks you about internships, classes, or what school you’re in. Plus, it’s a reminder that you don’t always need to carry that stress of competition around with you, and you can even do it as a sexy pirate.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Losing Your Ren Faire Virginity

Everyone remembers their first: the turkey legs, the mead, the ornate costumes, the jousts. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you never will. Nevertheless, for those looking to branch out or gain a bit of knowledge beforehand, here are my Do’s and Don’ts of your first time… at the Ren Faire. 

Do: Dress up! 

The costumes are what sell the experience, and if you don’t have anything to wear, that’s no problem. Around almost every corner there are vendors selling folk-ware, ranging from elf ears and flower crowns to entire pirate ensembles and artisanal suede cloaks. 

Don’t: Expect to use Apple pay. 

They didn’t have Venmo in the 1500s! Sure, maybe they could’ve picked up contactless payment during the plague, but hindsight’s 20/20 on that one. Instead, bring cash, sacks of gold, or some valuables with which you can barter. 

Do: Come with an empty stomach.

Part of the fun of Ren Faire is trying all the weird foods you would only see there. Besides the obviously popular turkey legs to be washed down with meads and ales, the faire will typically have tents with cuisine from all parts of the world. You can try Mediterranean, East Asian, Mexican, Irish, Nordic, and North American goods all in the same picnic area.

Pro tip: Go to the shortest line if you’re really hungry. All the food is so good, you won’t be missing out on the 45 minute donut wait. 

obligatory picture of me eating fajitas at Ren Faire

Don’t: Try to cram everything into a couple hours.

Take it from me. I was to be traveling back to Washington, D.C., the day I went to the New York Ren Faire, and even with the six hours I was there, I felt like I could’ve spent the whole weekend without even scratching the surface of what the faire had to offer. Get a schedule of the shows and performances they have planned, and try to see as many as possible. After all, they are the only things included in the price of admission (around $25), and you may as well make the most of your money. 

Do: Use the Ren Faire jargon.

If I’m not hearing “Huzzah!” at least every fifteen minutes, why even go? In all seriousness, get into the spirit of Ren Faire! Even if it isn’t particularly your scene, it has something for everyone! The most fun way to be involved in the faire is to really immerse yourself in the 1500s, for the most part. You may not be losing stool in the streets, but the port-a-potties will be labeled “latrines.”

Overall, the Ren Faire is what you make of it. If you want a really fun day full of living it up in your best wench-wear, then I highly recommend going. I’m just here to make sure your first time is a memorable time, whatever that may be.

Emily’s List of Under $15 Georgetown Favorites

I hate a lot of foods. Growing up, I was the notorious picky eater in the family, which led me down a very interesting path of eating boxed mac and cheese for dinner every night. Luckily, when I got older, my appreciation for healthy, nutritious food grew. Now that I’m at Georgetown, there is only one thing standing in the way of me eating these kinds of foods: the mandatory unlimited meal plan at the dining hall. 

If I could have had it my way, I would save myself the money and just pay for the least amount of swipes possible. Even better, in a perfect world, I would be cooking to my heart’s content and purchasing the food I actually want to eat every day. You see, I am unfortunately a perfect storm of picky meets health-conscious meets semi-vegetarian, and I don’t always find myself enticed by my choices at the Table at Leo’s. It’s true they have salad, vegetarian and halal stations to accommodate many dietary restrictions, but these stations seem to rotate on a very limited — and very repetitive — menu and could honestly offer more when it comes to healthy, filling options. 

I don’t want to waste the money I was forced to spend on the meal plan; however, sometimes I just cannot bring myself to go to Leo’s. For those of you who also find yourself in this position, I have taken it upon myself to compile “Emily’s List of Under $15 Georgetown Favorites (For Times When Leo’s Is Not Your First Choice).”

You’re welcome.*

*Disclaimer: If you have the stamina to walk to Trader Joe’s and the gumption to use your common room kitchen, go for it. I, however, am not one of those people. 


Uncommon Grounds

I know, I know, the coffee is a bit on the expensive side, but speaking as a girl who, not kidding, eats breakfast there every day, it’s not terribly priced. It’s even pretty comparable to Starbucks and less expensive than Saxby’s, the nearest off-campus option. In fact, today I got a large iced tea and a bagel for $5.85, and I’m still convinced someone inputted the total incorrectly. Plus, you can use Flex dollars, so it feels like it’s free (until you check your virtual wallet). Regardless, the less money I’m spending on my debit card, the better. 

Pro tip: If you’re really committed to the saving grind, and, like me, cannot resist bagels, save $3.25 on the sun city at Call Your Mother and get the bacon-less version. Just add takeout bacon from Leo’s. 


Falafel Inc.

I don’t even have to explain this one. I know it’s good. You know it’s good. We both know it’s cheap ($3!). Enough said. Pro tip: Mix the garlic and habibi sauces together and thank me later. 

Bluefin Sushi

Located on the canal near Thomas Jefferson Street, the spot is a little tucked away, but it is amazing. The regular rolls are $6 to $7, and around lunchtime, you can get a combo order of three rolls for around $14, which, if you’re comparing it to buying the sushi from Leo’s or Vittles, is a much better deal. Only downside: If you’re living on campus, be prepared for a bit of a walk. 

Good Stuff Eatery

Though not exactly a secret in the Georgetown community, the name rings true. If you ever find the dining hall chicken sandwiches to be a little not to your liking, then take a trip down to M Street. Their burgers run around $9, which is on the higher side, but they get bonus points for all the sauces.


Oki Bowl

Right off Wisconsin Avenue, Oki Bowl is an experience. The Japanese fusion cuisine hits the spot and doesn’t break the bank; their popular oki curry ramen is $17 and is a large enough portion to have leftovers for the next day. So, when you think about that price as split over two dinners, it definitely falls under affordable.

Chaia Tacos

On Grace Street, Chaia sells vegetarian tacos for $4.50, including my favorite, the creamy kale and potato taco. They’re perfect if you’re not too hungry and even better if you’re not looking to spend a lot and your friends want to grab dinner with you. There is no room for FOMO on this list.

Dahlgren Quad

On any random night of the week, Dahlgren will have its white party-hosting tent packed with people, and even better, caterers. Obviously, I do not advocate for stealing catered food, but if you walk past at the end of the event and see a lot of leftovers, just ask the event coordinators if you can take some. It’s better than wasting food, and it’s free. Win-win.

Charcoal Town Cafe

I am — subjectively — the biggest shawarma fan. I love it. I could eat it for every meal. If you don’t want to do the Falafel Inc. ~vegan shawarma~, Charcoal Town Cafe has a chicken shawarma wrap for $9, and for $3 more you can add on seasoned fries. Very worth it.



I know what you’re thinking. Wawa? For drinks?? Yes. Not for just any drinks — for coffee. The large iced coffees are incredibly cheap, huge and sugary enough to keep you energized on the hunt for your next cheap eat. If you’re a over 21 Hoya who isn’t on the meal plan, this is also the go-to spot for mixers.

Mai Thai

If you’re a living, breathing (21+) person at Georgetown, you’ve been to Mai Thai. You’ve had drinks there. You know about the $13 pitchers during happy hour. That’s why you keep coming back. We all do.


I have only scratched the surface of all the amazing Asian and Asian-inspired restaurants in Georgetown, but the other day, I went into BeauTea and got a large Golden Ginger Tea for $4. *chef’s kiss*

A Random Henle

If you ever find yourself particularly parched on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night, just show up to a random Henle with a suspiciously large crowd of people outside, and I can almost guarantee that you will find something inside to quench your thirst. Just don’t offer to pay for it.


Emily’s List of Cheap Eats That Are Simply Not Worth It:

  1. First Bake (sorry, overrated)
  2. 90 Second Pizza (I don’t know how they conned people into believing it’s cheap, but where I’m from you can get a slice of pizza bigger than their pies for $2)
  3. Foxtrot Market (sadly, it does not live up to this list’s standard of “cheap”)

Exposing Georgetown’s Biggest Super-Spreader (P.S. It’s Not Who You Think)

Every week, I look forward to one thing and one thing only (and no, it isn’t braving the weekend rush at Call Your Mother or laughing at the throngs of tweens crowding M Street in front of Brandy Melville). It’s the weekly emails telling the Georgetown students just how many COVID-19 cases we have. If you’re me, it’s almost like a guessing game. How many is it gonna be this week? More? Less? Although we all hope that the numbers go down (and that everyone is doing their job to stop the spread), no matter what the results are, one thing is certain: the off-campus students go above and beyond with their test results! At this point in the semester, you’d think the numbers might level out, and you’d be wrong. Why? Because no one’s bringing justice to Georgetown’s Biggest COVID-19 Super-Spreader: Chunky the Panda.


At first glance, he seems innocent, sweet even. How could a cuddly little panda be the culprit of all these COVID cases?? Here I’ll examine just three of the ways this panda has gotten away with murder.

Exhibit A: The Tour

Chunky entered our lives in the beginning of 2020. With his first Instagram post, his purpose was to bring good vibes to Georgetown. However, he couldn’t stay put in DC for long. As Chunky gained clout on the Hilltop, he took action with his newfound fame. No, he didn’t go to Saddle Ranch to rub elbows with Bryce Hall, Addison Rae, and the rest of the TikTok teens; he went on tour. Chunky decided to reach out to his followers to try and hit all 50 states. Should we really be traveling like this during a pandemic, Chunky? Should we? Think about it.

Exhibit B: The Masks (or should we say lack thereof?)

Chunky is an avid Instagram poster (who can blame him), and in the last year alone he shared pictures of his adventures with his adoring fans a whopping 66 times!


It’s okay. I understand. Even I get excited when someone takes a good picture of me, but that isn’t the problem here. The panda is. Chunky is visiting new people almost every week, and only two of his 66 posts have him wearing a mask. Even giving Chunky the benefit of the doubt (stuffed panda sized masks might be hard to come by) seems a bit too hard; I hardly doubt Chunky’s COVID-19 pod is that large. At the very least give us the One Medical results, Chunky.

Exhibit C: The Vaccine


You would think that Chunky getting vaccinated is a good thing! Wrong. Chunky is stealing vaccines from the elderly :( Not cool Chunky. Plus, I’m not a medical expert, but it seems like that vaccine next to Chunky wasn’t even punctured by a needle. Are they really injecting you Chunky? Or is this a photo-op to lead people off your trail as a super-spreader?? I’m inclined to believe the latter. Plus, this picture was posted Feb. 2, and it has been over a full month. Where’s the second dose Chunky? Oh wait, it isn’t there. Not even on your Instagram stories. Why? Because you didn’t even get the first one.


As we can see through my incredibly astute research, the reason the Georgetown off-campus community is still being hit by COVID-19 is due to none other than the last person (or sentient plush panda) we would expect, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if in Chunky’s next post we see him clubbing in Miami for Spring Break. I’m sure nobody would bat an eye.