D.J. Angelini

August 5, 2015

Mastering the Freshman Year Humblebrag

Congratulations to all first years on getting this far in your journey to the Hilltop! Trust me, I know it hasn’t been an easy road. Tackling the various questions of your incoming summer is always painful. These questions tend to take a toll on you as summer progresses.

Questions like: “If I do poorly on the summer reading assignment, can I still graduate Magna Cum Laude?” “Georgetown has given me no guidance, but I have to submit my preregistration in three hours; what do I do?” “Where is the Qatar building? Is it by Leo’s?” “Was what Becky S. said in the Facebook group mildly racist?”

We’ve dealt with them all, and I can assure you, you’ll get through it. However, this isn’t even remotely the most difficult part of making the transition to Georgetown’s campus. The most difficult task you have in your first two months on campus is to master your Freshman Year Humblebrag. It’s something you won’t hear on your campus tour and there won’t be an infographic about it in your Welcome Packet, but The Fourth Edition is here to teach you how to perfectly craft your unwarrantedly braggadocios sound bites that will propel you from “irrelevant first semester freshman” to “somewhat-irrelevant first semester freshman!”

On a campus where 33% of students are fluent in more than one language, acceptance rates average out to about 16% and some clubs receive hundreds of applications only to admit a class of 3 or 4 lucky allstars, it’s not always easy to stand out among the excellence that is around you. I will always remember hobbling into class my first day with an overfilled backpack, an inappropriately-large bag of half-eaten Baked Lays and a misguided idea that I was going to take over campus in a matter of weeks with the most inflated and undeserved confidence there ever was. Fifteen minutes into my first class, after I had taken 3 pages of notes on my professor’s introduction, I thought I had this in the bag… that was until we went through a circle of introductions and I realized how deep at the bottom of the heap I was.

The girl sitting next to me wasn’t halfway into her story of starting her own environmentally-conscious company before I quickly had to hold down the Baked Lay regurgitation, as I became sickened by my overall inadequacy. Everyone has one of these moments and I’m here now to help you so that you respond promptly with an effective humblebrag to deflect as much as possible.

Here are four prime opportunities to develop your inflated backstory through a series of humblebrags:

1. The Facebook Group Humblebrag: Now, I’m not one to encourage participation in the Facebook group due to the fact that everything you post is read by all members of your incoming class and they will use it as kindling to ignite awkward conversations during New Student Orientation, but if done correctly, the Facebook Group Humblebrag could be extremely effective. With such a captive audience, there’s no better way to get the word out about your accomplishments than a quick brag hidden in language that looks to be sincere.

Examples:

“My graduation video came in today and my valedictorian speech was so unfunny! Maybe I should join improv to work on my jokes haha!”
“I just got back from my extensive volunteer trip in Africa and all of the people I met asked me what a ‘Hoya’ was? LOL I didn’t know how to explain it!”
“Did anyone else get an invitation to this exclusive program during NSO that clearly states on the front for ‘exceptionally engaged students’? Or was that just me XD?”
“Does anyone know how they evaluated admissions for pre-orientation programs? Seems so hard because we’re all so accomplished! WELL ANYWAY I GOT INTO FOCI!!!”
“Here is a picture of my schedule. So hard to pick classes when I was still waiting on all of my AP credits to be confirmed. Is 400 level hard?”

2. The Admissions Story Humblebrag: This is one of the most effective humblebrag tactics in the game, especially during your first week on campus. Irresponsibly rewriting your admissions story can gain you instant credibility among your peers. There’s nothing more impactful than making someone feel unreasonably inferior to you for getting into the same elite institution that you did.

Examples:

“Honestly, my college counselor told me I could really pick from any school I wanted based on my grades and scores. I was like so upset he couldn’t narrow it down!”
“I decided to pick a school based on fit. Screw rankings am I right!?”
“Telling my parents that I was going to choose Georgetown over a top 10 school was like really hard.”

3. The College Class Humblebrag: College is hard. You will do well in some classes, but you will also hopelessly struggle in others, especially if you are heavily involved. That’s why people here take academics pretty seriously. There’s no better way to hit someone at their core than by throwing in some creative tales of classroom interactions that are so over-exaggerated that they might just be believable.

Examples:

“Could you believe that the class average on our Macro midterm was a 64!? So glad I scraped by with that 85. Do you think that’s curved to an A? A-?“
“OMG in my Intro to Ethics class, my professor singled my work in front of all 200 kids in the class!? I was so embarrassed.” (Still effective even if he woke you up from your deep slumber in the front row and commented about how detailed your doodles of Aristotle were.)
*After you find a stray syllabus of Madeleine Albright’s class on the ground* “Weirdest thing, Madeleine Albright practically BEGGED ME to take her class today.”
“He got a 1.4 on RateMyProfessor, but he grades me like so easily. I didn’t even study for the final and got an A!”

4. The Social Humblebrag: There’s more to college than grades and an effective social humblebrag can be quite the boost to your standing in the absolutely meaningless freshman pecking order. This is where you can get really creative. You can literally say the most ridiculously irrelevant statements to add to your credibility.

Examples:

“Dude, I don’t even mind the taste of Burnett’s. Like what’s all the hang up about?”
*Throws up after 1 Natty Light* “Boot and Rally is my life motto. Seriously, it is. Check my Twitter bio.”
“It’s so weird. I got into this party of all seniors last night and I didn’t even have a sick ratio! It was just me and the boys.”
“I made it into (insert prominent Georgetown student’s name here) Insta last night. It was no big deal, but you can see the side of my head right there back on the Vil A rooftop.

5. The Hoya Relative Humblebrag: Please don’t ask me why, but mentioning that you had an older relative that went to Georgetown immediately catapults you to celebrity status amongst your first-year peers. It’s as if that relationship means you are the social sage of your class. Try to leverage that as much as possible. And if you don’t have any family members that went to Georgetown, just say your distant cousin went to school with Bill Clinton like I did!

Example:

“When I visited my older sister, we went out to the Rhino, the Cuates and also the Tombs. I’ve been over the bar scene ever since.”
“My cousin basically ran this school, but like I want to forge my own path you know? Hypothetically, do you think our relationship will help me get into the Credit Union though?!”
“When my dad went here, there was a pub under Healy. I bet he definitely DFMOed with Maria Shriver.”
“My brother said that dorm parties are a thing of the past. I hear Brown House is the new spot. Maybe I can get some of you in?“

I hope you take this advice to heart and good luck on weaving that one obscure Leadership Conference you attended during your sophomore year of high school into your NSO introduction!

Gifs: tumblr.com; huffingtonpost.com; mtv.com

June 25, 2015

Translation: I’m Getting Desperate!

With the deadline to find a roommate via our famous CHARMS matching service less than a week away, many freshmen have turned to the second-most effective vehicle to nail down that match made in heaven: the desperate Facebook post in the Class of 2019 GAAP group.

Usually littered with meaningless questions about laptop preferences and summer reading, toward the end of June, the GAAP group becomes somewhat of a black market for people to post page-long descriptions of themselves hoping some other desperate loner will send them the following via Facebook message: “OMG I’m like really into Harry Potter too! And I also am undecided in the College. We should like room together or something!”

It all sounds great until you really take a look at everyone’s descriptions of themselves; they’re all perfect! Each person posts the most appealing profile of a roommate there ever was. How could every single hopeful be a “super neat, varsity athlete that plans to get a 4.0 but rage on the weekends?” It’s my job to provide a detailed translation of what incoming freshman really mean when they post a bio in hopes of finding a roommate.

What they say: “Hi, my name is Zack. I’m from the New York area. CHARMS is going really well, but I thought I’d just put my bio out there to see if anyone else wants to match and be roommates!”

What they mean: “My mom has called me Zachary my entire life, but now is the time to reinvent myself right? I’m from New Jersey, but not the Jersey Shore kind I promise!!! CHARMS couldn’t be going worse. The only person I matched with plans on having a pet ferret in the room and is unironically into anime. Please room with me I’m desperate.”

What they say: “So, I’m a pretty big athlete and I’m really looking to room with a dude who is into sports.”

What they mean: “I ran the mile once a semester in high school and have severe asthma, but I need at least one person to go to Georgetown basketball games with.”

What they say: “I’m into my studies, but obviously I love to go out and have fun. I’m planning on raging a lot on the weekends and studying mad hard during the week.”

What they mean: “At my senior prom, my math team buddies and I each had a beer and I threw up everywhere. But, like, I’m willing to give drinking another shot I think.”

What they say: “I’m into music, art, football, dodgeball, writing, reading, rollerblading, underwater basket weaving, friendship bracelet making, biology and a bunch of other stuff! Any questions, just ask me!”

What they mean: “I’m about to list every single subject possible hoping to hook at least one person. In reality, I like Blink 182 and napping eight hours a day.”

What they say: “I’m studying at the College looking to major in Government and minor in Econ.”

What they mean: “In grade school, my second grade teacher gave me the class superlative of ‘Most Likely to be President’, but if that doesn’t work out, I’m really trying to make some money.”

What they say: “Lol, looking for someone neat! (It’s ok if you aren’t a neat freak though. A little clutter is fine.)”

What they mean: “I am one of the messiest people on the planet. Frank Ocean actually wrote ‘Thinking Bout You’ when he saw my room at home because it looks like a tornado flew around my room before you came, so please excuse the mess it made. With that said, I irrationally expect your side of the room to be spotless and will throw a fit if I find one of your socks as I dig through my piles of clothes on my floor to get to my hidden backpack.”

What they say: “I’m not too picky about sleeping hours or room temperature. I’m just really laid back and go with the flow.”

What they mean: “I plan on making my room an arctic tundra and you are going to have to deal with it…I have severe night sweats. Oh also, I plan on being up until around 3am watching Netflix, so really hoping the glare from my screen won’t affect the necessary sleep you need to survive your 8am class!”

What they say: “I’m definitely into politics, but I would consider myself a firm moderate. I find equal value in both parties.”

What they mean: “If you’re not #Ready4Hillary, I’m not #Ready2Speak2You.”

What they say: “I’m honestly down to share anything. I am looking to room with someone who will become a great friend, so sharing is caring am i right? Haha!”

What they mean: “I will be seriously offended if you touch any of the Go-Gurt tubes my mom sent me.”

What they say: “Haha sorry for the long post. If you read this far, please reach out. Although I have a lot of people I matched with on CHARMS, I would love to get to know some people before we get to campus. Alright well, I’ll see you guys on the hilltop. And as they say, ‘Hoya Saxa!'”

What they mean: “I really hope more people read this than the number of people that read our summer reading book, because I’m really getting desperate here. If this doesn’t work, I might have to get a doctor’s note claiming that I am allergic to humans and live in a single in the Southwest Quad. I’m really hoping no one unearths this around Christmas time to show how embarrassing I was. And what does ‘Hoya Saxa’ even mean? It sounds like the hole-in-the wall Chinese restaurant by my house. Well whatever it seems like everyone says it so I might as well!

Good luck with the roommate hunt freshmen! I hope this will help you on your journey to find your perfect mate. Trust me, this is not as bad as it gets. Just wait for first semester finals when that girl who sits next to you in Problem of God finds your embarrassing post and you get to relive this horror all over again!

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, collegenext.org

January 29, 2015

Have No Fear, Rapchat is Here

This is what we’ve all been waiting for. Years of technological development have brought us to this very moment.

Thank you Benjamin Franklin for flying your kite and getting us electricity.
Thank you Alexander Graham Bell for creating the first practical telephone.
Thank you Steve Jobs for the iPhone.
Thank you to every visionary that contributed to technology since the dawn of time.

Because now, after years and years of hard work and innovation, we have reached the apex of science: Rapchat.

Snapchat is a thing of the past. Who needs to send selfies, awkward videos, or overly-flashed pictures of Brown House ragers when you can send a rap instead?

That’s right. Rapchat, a new app on the App Store, gives the user anywhere from twenty to forty seconds to drop the most fire lines of their life. After recording, you can send it to any one of your lucky Facebook friends!

Now you may be asking yourself, “Do we really need an app for this?” The answer is yes. A firm, unequivocal yes. Rapchat will give you a variety of beats to choose from and you can simply record a freestyle rap and send it to your friends. Imagine that instead of drunk Snapchat selfies, you will receive incoherent, mildly-offensive raps set to underwhelming beats! I can’t think of anything better than that.

Click on this link and join the bloggers of 4E in downloading Rapchat as soon as possible. Don’t worry, you will be loudly sending incomprehensible slant rhymes with no discernible rhythm to your friends in no time!

Photo: rapchat.me; huffpost.com; hercampus.com

December 5, 2014

Friday Fixat10ns: 90’s Power Playlist

[8tracks width=”300″ height=”250″ playops=”” url=”https://8tracks.com/mixes/5319003″]

Aside from dial-up internet, there is a lot we miss about the 90’s. Those were the days when we used to love pushing a slinky repeatedly down the stairs, when we couldn’t wait to pop our favorite tape into the family VCR and when we actually liked Mary Kate and Ashley. But the truth is, the best part of the 90’s was the music. Sure, there are the obvious 90’s classics like Aaron Carter, the Backstreet Boys, and NSYNC, but the true powerhouse hits of the 90’s are often ignored. So, 4E has put together the Friday Fixat10ns for those true 90’s music fans out there. Here are the tracks:

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana – The obvious choice for this playlist, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” packs a punch for all of those angsty teens out there looking to get out some aggression. Also, how can you not like a song that has an almost completely unintelligible chorus?
Hold On by En Vogue – Before there was Destiny’s Child, there was En Vogue. “Hold On” samples Jackson 5’s hit “Who’s Lovin’ You” as an introduction, and you can’t help but belt out a few lyrics. After the powerhouse intro, the song breaks into the quintessential 90’s girl group hit.
Hold On by Wilson Phillips – You may be thinking, “Another ‘Hold On’, are you kidding?” No, I am not kidding. If it’s good enough for Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph to jam out to in “Bridesmaids“, then it’s good enough to make this playlist.
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers – Although this song was actually released in 1988, it only went big after its re-release in 1993. This is the jam. Sure, does anyone know what accents The Proclaimers have? No. Does anyone know what “havering” means? No. But trust me, if this power-packed song comes on at a party, you can bet everyone will be going wild to the chorus and intermittent “da-lat-das”.
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston – It almost pains me to think that I even have to explain why this song makes the cut. Disregard the historical fame and chart-topping numbers, and it would still make this playlist because of how this inspired every shower singer to try and belt notes like Whitney and unfortunately fail. (Yes, that kid that sings in the communal shower of his freshman dorm, we’ve all heard you.)
Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-A-Lot – Before there was “Anaconda,” there was “Baby Got Back.” This song is one of the greatest songs of all time. Starting out with a hilarious intro and lyrics that made any kid who knew them the most popular kid in school, this song is truly one for the ages.
Wannabe by Spice Girls – I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want: this 90’s jam on the playlist! “Wannabe” is a classic that makes any Georgetown girl drop her Pumpkin Spice Latte and dance like no one is watching.
I’ll Be There For You by The Rembrandts – You may have never heard of The Rembrandts, but you’ve definitely heard of “I’ll Be There For You.” This song was the theme song for the greatest television show of all time, “Friends”, and packs a powerful message about friendship. I dare you not to do the quadruple clap after “So no one told you life was gonna be this way…”
No Scrubs by TLC – This song is the perfect anthem to keep the “scrubs” away. Covered by contemporary artists like Bastille and Foxes, the lasting power of this song is unbelievably strong. But still, no one could rock it like TLC.
Wonderwall by Oasis – Trust me, you’ve heard this song. We all have that one friend who can “play” guitar, but really can only play “Wonderwall.” Despite the weird fascination amateur guitar players everywhere have with his song, this is a 90’s classic that always has everyone singing along.

So to all the 4E readers out there, when you eventually begin studying for your finals, blast this playlist to pump yourself up. 90’s music will always be there for you.

Photo: blogspot.com

December 4, 2014

Holiday Spirit in Dahlgren Quad

With the Pumpkin Spice Latte being gradually replaced by the Peppermint Mocha as the drink of choice for all basic Georgetown students, one can tell the holidays are slowly taking over campus.

The advent of the holiday season means a lot will be happening at Georgetown in the coming weeks. There will be the RHO rush of care packages, the themed happy hours, as well as the many wonderfully planned activities sponsored by various Georgetown administrative offices and student groups!

One of 4E’s favorite festivities is happening this Friday, Dec. 5 at 5 p.m. in Dahlgren Quad: the Lighting of the Georgetown University Christmas Tree!

The Georgetown University Department of Performing Arts, the Mask and Bauble Dramatic Society, and the Office of the President invite all members of the Georgetown community to convene this Friday night for some good times and holiday cheer.

Here is a breakdown of what you can expect on this jolly night:

1. The actual lighting of the tree. Dahlgren Quad is the most picturesque spot on campus in the winter and the only thing to make it better is a ginormous, glowing tree right in the middle of it.

2. Hot cocoa and snacks. Georgetown doesn’t skimp when it comes to holiday cheer. There will be snacks and hot cocoa served to all of the people waiting outside throughout the event’s activities. Life doesn’t get more delicious than hot cocoa.

3. Mask and Bauble’s performance of “A Christmas Carol.” Come and see the incredibly talented dramatic society put on this Christmas classic. I’m sure it will live up to the fond memories of your awkward 8th grade self hopelessly stumbling through Tiny Tim lines in English class. Or was that just me?

4. Holiday music. Various Georgetown musical groups will be showcasing their talents through classic holiday hits. You can bet the 4E bloggers will be performing our group interpretive dance to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.”

5. Temperate DC winter weather. Although weather.com says it will be a nice cool 45 degrees this Friday night, based on recent trends, that could easily change to 75 degrees. Nothing screams “holiday” like a 0% chance of snow and the ability to rock a t-shirt to the event.

So get ready for tons of Georgetown themed holiday cheer!

Photos: alumni.georgetown.edu; tumblr.com; college.georgetown.edu/collegenews/celebrating-faith-at-georgetown.html

October 29, 2014

Dress Up and Win Money From Hoya Health Hut

Everyone loves a good ol’ run-in with the Hoya Health Hut. Nothing’s better than stopping by their pop-up kiosk on the way to class and walking away with some free stuff after learning some health info you PROBABLY should have already known by this point. But that’s what they’re there for: To tell you some super important stuff and give you free stuff just for listening!

In this case, that “free stuff” will come in the form of awesome gift cards to some of the best hangout spots in the Georgetown area. What’s the occasion? The Hoya Health Hut Costume Contest. You have until Nov. 8 to send in a perfectly filtered picture of your best costume from this weekend to [email protected].

GU Health Education Services will be posting your submissions on their Facebook page and the three pictures that acquire the most likes will win a prize. First place will walk away with a $100 gift card to Founding Farmers, second place will receive a $50 gift card to Pinstripes and third place will receive a $25 gift card to AMC.

Get your costumes ready and make sure they’re in great form for your Hoya Health Hut snapshot. Don’t worry, if you haven’t gathered your costume essentials just yet, we have a few suggestions.

Photo: photobucket.com

September 16, 2014

Calling All Mascot Hopefuls

We at 4E like to keep up with the Georgetown-themed social media pages. Georgetown University rocks an official Facebook page, Twitter profile and it racks up the likes on perfectly filtered Instagrams. Georgetown Hoyas, the athletic program’s social media moniker, does the same. You couldn’t believe the excitement the 4E bloggers exhibited while reading this tweet just a few days ago:

Students: We are looking for some new Jack the Bulldogs! If interested in being the mascot email [email protected] pic.twitter.com/PcfrQrO1xv

— Georgetown Hoyas (@georgetownhoyas) September 9, 2014

NEW JACK THE BULLDOG MASCOTS! Obviously, people are going to jump at the chance to represent the coolest college canine around. However will the athletic program choose? Well, we have a few ideas on how to get a Jack the Bulldog worthy enough to represent the Hoya community.

1. Cheddar Cheese and Carrot Eating Contest

Anybody who knows anything knows that Jack the Bulldog LOVES cheddar cheese and carrots. For a new Jack the Bulldog mascot, they should definitely be able to eat their fair share of this underrated delicacy. We will accept all forms of the food. (Bonus points if cooked in an Epi quesadilla.)

2. Georgetown History Trivia

Jack the Bulldog is a smart animal. Many a time he can be seen lounging on Healy Lawn amongst the frantically studying Hoyas. Any mascot should be able to have half of this dog’s intelligence. We think a Jeopardy!-style game show would separate the true Jacks from the phonies. 99% of the questions should be about Patrick Ewing’s cameo in Space Jam.

3. Race Around the John Carroll Statue

Jack likes to hang out around Healy Circle. He struts his stuff around our founder John Carroll for hours on end. All prospective Jack mascots should race around Healy Circle to see who can separate themselves from the pack. To make it more of a challenge, the mascots need to navigate the crowd of freshman girls waiting for a Valencia-filtered Instagram on John Carroll’s lap.

4. Trash Carrying Contest

As pictured above, Jack knows how to take out the trash. To test general strength and determination, I propose a hardcore weightlifting competition. Participants should lift trash bags full of half-eaten Verizon Center chicken tenders and the tears of our opposition after a Hoya victory.

5. General Cuteness

I don’t think any explanation is needed.

6. Dance Dance Revolution Throwdown

We propose bringing this nerd-learns-to-dance-in-arcade game back, just as Justin brought sexy back. DDR would test the prospective mascots’ stamina and flair for the art of dance. We want to see you get down with your bad selves in the student section during basketball games.

As this post should show you, if you want to be the next Jack the Bulldog rallying the student body, you better be on your A game. Not just any person can strut their stuff in a bulldog costume. So break out your running shoes and your obscure Georgetown facts. Good luck to all hopefuls!

Photos: georgetown.edu, brookhollowbulldogs.com, zimbio.com

June 18, 2014June 19, 2014

The 4E Guide to Emojis

Here at 4E, we just have one question for you:

And, of course, we know that you do. Emojis (or what the older generation refers to as “those tiny picture thingies”) can enhance any text or Facebook message. But, a problem arises when these little wondrous characters are used improperly. So, to make sure that everyone is using them correctly, we put together a guide to some of our favorite Emojis.

1. The Alcohol Emojis

These little guys are perfect for any party invitation via text. Whether you’ve already had your fair share of Hot Cinny Burnett’s and don’t care to type out the word “beer” or you feel like making your pre-game invitation special, you just can’t go wrong with any of these.

2. The Chill Emoji

My personal favorite emoji is the emoji that looks like it’s just too suave for the rest of them. This can be used for so many different scenarios, but the best way to use it is when you’re trying to make moves.

3. The Poop Emoji

We had to include this little guy just because someone at some point thought, “Hey, you know what would make an awesome emoji? A SMILING PILE OF POO!” But hey, I’m glad they did. Now, when I’m in a horrible situation, all I have to do is type out this single character.

4. The Salsa Dancer and the Kissing Couple

Since the 4E bloggers are at the forefront of social and technological innovation, we know how to combine two emojis to convey the perfect message. Nothing goes together better than the Salsa Dancer and the Kissing Couple…

5. The Sad/Shocked Emoji

This emoji works perfectly in situations when you really can’t tell if you are going to scream your head off or bawl your eyes out. So when you’re in this time of confusion, feel free to throw this emoji out there; the person you’re messaging will understand your pain.

6. The Clapping Emoji

Sometimes, your friends deserve some congratulations. But when “congratulations” doesn’t suffice, give them a round of applause!

7. The Spot-On Emoji

This is a perfect emoji to use when someone does something that is on point. Whether it’s a relevant comment in class or a solidly filtered photo on Instagram, this emoji can be used to commemorate the momentous occasion.

Photos: wordpress.com, Fake-a-text app; Gif: tumblr.com

April 22, 2014April 23, 2014

When NOT to Call GERMS

Georgetown Emergency Response Medical Service (GERMS) is an invaluable asset to the Georgetown community. Whether you break a leg during a club sports game or go a little crazy on a Friday night, GERMS is there to escort you to the Georgetown University Hospital free of charge. On many occasions, calling GERMS is the right move. But members of the 4E staff, through our never-ending acts of debauchery, have compiled a list of five times when you need to put that phone away and keep on trucking.

1. Do not call when you get a splinter!

Fun Fact: GERMS DOESN’T HAVE TWEEZERS! Now, you may be thinking, “How do the 4E bloggers know that?” Well, that’s beside the point. You’re going to have to trust us. When you’re walking barefoot on Georgetown Day and you get that pesky splinter, refrain from dialing GERMS. In this case, they just can’t help you.

2. Do not call to deliver your post-CFT food baby!

We know. Chicken Finger Thursday can sometimes get the best of you. Even though you feel (and possibly look) like you’re pregnant, there’s nothing GERMS can do about it. GERMS is not equipped to deal with your food pregnancy, so resist the temptation to call them for a food baby delivery.

3. Do not call after you trip in Yates!

Yates can be intimidating. When you’re walking around, it’s easy to get distracted by the hardcore athletes sprinting on the treadmill or the girl doing yoga up against the wall. It’s common at these times to lose track of where you are and take a tumble. Although your wrist might be sore and your ankle may be twisted, please don’t call GERMS. It’s embarrassing enough that all of Yates is staring at you. Just get out as soon as possible and hobble on over to student health to repair your ankle — and hopefully your dignity as well.

4. Do not call after you spend a night in Lau!

Studying can be exhausting. So can staring at the confines of a Lau cubicle for hours on end. As you stumble out onto Healy Lawn just as the sun starts to rise, refrain from calling GERMS to whisk you away. You’ll be fine. Walk on over to Wisey’s to score an early morning breakfast sandwich to get you reoriented. That should do the trick.

5. Do not call for help with your Healy Lawn sunburn!

Now that the weather finally is getting nice, more and more students flock to Healy Lawn to get their study on. With the smell of GUGS burgers in the air and the peaceful sound of Frisbees whizzing by your head, it’s very easy to doze off for an hour or two. When you wake up, don’t be surprised that you’re a bright shade of red. GERMS can’t help you at that point, but hopefully that one kid on your floor who packed for the apocalypse has enough aloe lotion to get your through the week!

This is the definitive list of when NOT to call GERMS. In all seriousness, GERMS is awesome and so important to the safety of all students on campus. Keep on keepin’ on, you GERMS students and EMTs out there. In case of actual medical emergencies, GERMS can be reached at (202) 687-4357.

Photos: mashable.com, Matt Sullivan/The Hoya, cmich.edu

April 14, 2014April 14, 2014

We Came. We Saw. We OWNed It.

“I think there is a hunger and a thirst for answers to these questions about women and leadership and solving what is a problem. There are not enough women in leadership.” –Norah O’Donnell (COL ’95, GRD ’03)

Georgetown University Women in Leadership’s inaugural summit has been one of the most highly anticipated events of the semester. Students, both female and male, waited anxiously for tickets to go on sale in late February. Within 24 hours of the Eventbrite going live, every ticket to the summit had been snatched up and the event’s Facebook page became a frenzy of people looking to score a ticket from those lucky enough to get in on the action early. The anxious attendees were finally satisfied at 8:45 a.m. this past Saturday when orange, pink and purple adorned a packed Lohrfink Auditorium and the crowd became silent, awaiting the first panel of speakers.

If you didn’t have the chance to take part in the summit or you want to relive the experience you had this weekend, we’ve got you covered. After spending all day at the event, we’ve tried to narrow down all of the great moments into a top 10 list that will knock your socks off.

The 10 Best Parts of the OWN IT Summit

1. The Dynamic Duo

Helen Brosnan (COL ’16) and Kendall Ciesemier (COL ’15) were the co-chairs of the OWN IT Summit, and oh they OWNed IT! From delivering killer intros to being fangirled by many of the distinguished speakers, these two absolutely ran the show and did it well. Throughout the day, Brosnan and Ciesemier – and the entire Summit Team – orchestrated the behind the scenes logistics while making it a point to engage the summit attendees whenever they could. I wonder what they’ll come up with for OWN IT 2015!

2. The Alums

When sitting in on the panels, it was hard not to notice the abundance of women who have previously called the Hilltop their home. Maria Shriver (CAS ’77), Kara Swisher (SFS ’84), Norah O’Donnell (COL ’95) and many more made their way back to the Hilltop to address the summit attendees. It was great to see how excited the women were to be back on campus!

3. The Tech

They did tech, and they did it big. Upon registering, the smart phone-equipped (read: EVERYONE) downloaded the Usher Id App to check in to the panels and experiential sessions of the day. Attendees were also able to share contact information over Bluetooth with the app. In addition to the mobile app, each breakout room had projector screens filled with stats and graphs about the attendees throughout the day. Those who attended the event made thousands of connections via the app and took advantage of all of the technology available.

4. The Poem

If you don’t know Azure Antoinette, OPEN A NEW WINDOW AND GOOGLE HER AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Every second you wait is just one second more you don’t get to experience this brilliant and hilarious poet. To kick off the summit, Antoinette performed a poem specifically written for the OWN IT Summit. She brought the house down. Not only did she deliver a stunning performance, but I think she befriended nearly everyone at the summit!

5. The Food

At Georgetown, it’s expected that events provide food options that are average at best. NOT THIS ONE! The quality of the food was right in line with the rest of the event: extraordinary. Attendees had access to complimentary crepes, cupcakes, ice cream and snacks from tech-driven vending machines. At lunch, everyone was given delicious Jetties sandwiches. Not to mention, everyone got to enjoy it all on the lawn on a beautiful spring day.

6. The Panels

Some of the biggest names in the biggest industries took the stage in Lohrfink Auditorium to speak about their personal and professional experiences, covering subjects ranging from business to media to technology. Panelists spoke on advancing women in leadership positions within their field. The panels sparked conversations that inspired the audience with every word. They also provided PRIME Instagram opportunities.

7. The Hashtag

#ownit2014. It seemed like the OWN IT Summit took over social media for a few hours on Saturday. And in many ways it did. Filtered snapshots of the MSB, perfectly-cropped close ups of Maria Shriver (CAS ’77) and angled selfies with Judy Smith were strewn across our news feeds, all accompanied by the #ownit2014 hashtag. On Saturday, #ownit2014 was the number one trending hashtag in Washington, D.C.!

8. The GUWIL Bags

Every summit attendee left the MSB at 5 p.m. with a complimentary GUWIL bag in hand. The bags were filled with information about the summit, plus deals from local stores and restaurants. I’ve already started planning my buy one get one free burrito bowl Chipotle visit.

9. The Office Hours

I know. I doubted it too. I mean, the office hours I go to usually leave me with more confusion than before. These were a little different. Attendees met with some of the most accomplished women in their respective fields in groups of 6 to 12 and got to have personal conversations with their heroes.

10. Judy Smith

The real Olivia Pope was there. Need I say more?

Photo: Sofia Layanto|The Hoya, twitter.com, georgetown.edu

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The 10 Best Parts of the OWN IT Summit

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