Staffer of the Week: Brian Carden

staffer of the week

Once a week, The Hoya recognizes one or two staffers who have done a particularly awesome job — now you can get to know about them, too. Here’s our interview with Staffer of the Week Brian Carden:

Brian Staffer

Hometown: Port Washington, N.Y.

School: MSB
Major: Finance and Operations & Information Management
Minor: Economics
Year: 2016
Position on The Hoya: Director of Sales
Why did you earn Staffer of the Week?

I sold a bunch of ads, including breaking the record for the New Student Guide. To quote Executive Editor Mallika Sen, “#nonewsfriday.”

What famous actor would play you in a movie about your life?
I’d have to say Adam Scott since I have a strikingly uncanny resemblance to Ben Wyatt.

What advice would you give a young Brian Carden – let’s say four years ago?
Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Are you a Jack the Bulldog or a John Carroll?
While the idea of lounging around Copley Lawn and winding up in the profile pictures of squatting freshmen certainly sounds appealing, I’m going to have to go with John Carroll. Like me, he seems like the kind of guy who liked to get stuff done. (I mean, after all, he founded Georgetown.)

Congrats to Brian! May you continue in your sales success.

Photo: Facebook

Since Last We Met …

4EguesswhatWe’re baaaaack. You’ve missed us. We’ve missed you. At long last, the 4E drought is over. Seeing as it’s been so long since last we met, let’s make up for lost time. Here are five of the stories we missed while we were gone.

1. There was unrest in the kingdom.

Two weeks ago, leaked elevator footage of American royalty, Jay-Z and Beyoncé, and the royal-by-association Solange proved that celebrities are just like us. Some of us are lovers, some are fighters and some do absolutely nothing at all. In this case, I’m referring to Jay-Z, Solange and Beyoncé, respectively. Below, the brawl is re-enacted in gif form.

2. We work out.

Washington D.C. was just ranked as the fittest city in the country. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’s definitely because Georgetown keeps its Sweetgreen and Lululemon game strong.

3. Barack Obama went for a casual walk in D.C., and people freaked out.

This video below pretty much says it all:

4. We can finally enjoy the view.

The Washington Monument is finally reopened. Your Instagram followers will be overjoyed. Watch the action unfold:

5. Finally, rapper 50 Cent “successfully” threw the first pitch at a New York Mets game.


Don’t worry — now that we’re back, we’ll be here all summer to keep you up to date on everything happening in Georgetown, D.C. and pop culture. Stay tuned!

Which Level of Lau is Your Study Home?

Do you dwell in the corridors of Lower Level and yearn for human interactions? Can’t concentrate on Lau 2 because of a flash mob? Everyone’s got to turn down for something. Find out if you’re studying/taking Buzzfeed quizzes on the right floor.

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5 Reasons Georgetown Students are NOT Ron Swanson

Ron SwaaaIf you haven’t read my friend Emily’s original post 5 Reasons Georgetown Students are Ron Swanson, please do. She’s hilarious and the “Drunk Ron Swanson” gif is life-changing. That being said, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. As an avid fan of “Parks and Recreation” and a meat enthusiast, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Ron Swanson would never put his coveted stamp of approval on the Georgetown lifestyle. Here’s the evidence to back my claim up.

5 Reasons Georgetown Students are
NOT Ron Swanson:

1. The Government

60% of the Georgetown population identify as government majors, according to a statistic I just made up. They’re everywhere. It makes sense because we live in the nation’s capital with so many amazing opportunities to intern on Capital Hill. Impressive, right? You know who doesn’t care about any of that? Ron Swanson.

2. Burnett’s

4E likes to consider itself the voice of the people, only slightly funnier and much sassier. So we write about Burnett’s and Leo’s. We give the people want the they want. As college students, the options for weekend liquid consumption are limited by our empty wallets and nonexistent credit scores. So we don’t complain when a Vil A only has Natty’s and Burnett’s. It’s expected. It’s understandable. You know who doesn’t understand? Ron Swanson.

3. Sweetgreen

We like to consider ourselves a fairly healthy campus where Lululemon pants and organic lettuce purchases from Whole Foods run rampant. WE LOVE VEGETABLES. In fact, it is difficult  to go a day without seeing one of the paper SweetGreen bags. We love the stuff. How could you not? They use the freshest ingredients and the most filling bread.  Also, it was founded by 2 Georgetown students so it’s a win-win, right? Let’s see what our good friend Ron Swanson has to say about this.

4. Yates

Running in a similar vein, I wonder what Mr. Swanson’s personal statement on exercise is…

5. Social Media

Guys we rock at social media. Post it on Facebook. Tweet it. Instagram it. BLOG it. We’re there. It’s kind of our forté outside of procrastinating and subsequently stressing out about how much we procrastinated. Georgetown was actually ranked #1 in social media influence out of colleges in the DMV area. You know who sucks at social media? Ron Swanson. It’s actually kind of sad as evidenced by the selfie he accidentally vined. #Basic

Stay gold, Ron Swanson. Keep fighting the good fight against the establishment, vegetarianism and technology. It’s a fight you’re sure to win.

Gifs:; Photo:

Attention All Animal Lovers!

AnimaliaTo all the animal lovers out there, this one’s for you. Do you like puppies? Do you want a way to be more involved in animal rights issues? Did the documentary Blackfish make you feel things? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, there’s a new club on campus that might be just what the doctor ordered: Animalia Georgetown.  

Animalia Georgetown is a new organization at Georgetown dedicated to promoting humane practices and fostering awareness of animal welfare issues through education, open dialogue and philanthropy.

However, this isn’t just another club. They make up words like Animalia! What? These people are crazy! In true 4E fashion, we’re going to break it down so you can decide if it’s the kind of crazy you’re into.

Five Things You Should Know About Animalia Georgetown:

1. Puppies!  Animalia Georgetown plans to bring puppies on campus during high stress times when “Georgetown students can use some puppy-lovin’ the most.”

2. Everybody’s welcome Meat eaters, vegans and everyone in between are welcome. The only requirement for Animalia is loving animals. So as long as you cry at all the appropriate times during animal movies (i.e. Bambi, Lassie, Air Bud, etc.), who cares what you put on your plate?

3. Popes! They’re down for the cause. Pope John Paul II believed that animals should be treated morally, and current Pope Francis chose his name after the patron saint of animals. Animal lovers are in good company.

4. Educate yourself If you haven’t already seen the movie Blackfish, put it on your Netflix list ASAP. Animalia’s first official event was a screening of the movie Blackfish, a film that has brought unprecedented attention to the detriments of keeping large, intelligent animals like orca whales in captivity and has led to protests and boycotts of SeaWorld. Animalia seeks to bring awareness to other hidden animal rights issues and educate the public about small actions that can benefit all animals everywhere.

5. They do things! Have you ever innocently tried to enjoy your favorite TV show, and then before you know it Sarah McLachlan and the song “Arms of an Angel” have you reduced to a puddle of tears on your couch?

Instead of bawling your eyes out at the super dramatic, super depressing Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty commercials, do something! Animalia is organizing volunteer days with shelters in the area, where you’ll have the opportunity both to cuddle the adorable and loving animals and to make a huge difference in their lives.

6. Real Words After further research, 4E has discovered that Animalia is in fact a real word. Animalia–(noun) the taxonomic kingdom comprising all animals. This is just further proof that Animalia is fun, can use big words and is ready to make an impact.

Check out Animalia Georgetown because puppies.

Co-authored with Sheeva L. Nesva, Mary Rogers and Jane Eisenach

Gifs:,; Photos:,

An Open Letter to GUSA Campaigns

An open letter to gusa campaignsDear GUSA campaigns,

I understand that all you want to do is impact change on the Georgetown community in your own respective ways, and I wholeheartedly support and appreciate your dedication to being men and women for others. However, as a potential voter, I feel as if a lot of my needs aren’t being met. I thought this open letter would be a good forum for us to hash a few things out. Hopefully we’ll see eye-to-eye by the end of it. As in, Wednesday night.

The Top 5 Reasons I’m Just Not That Into You

1. “Vote for (Insert Here)” While this sentence makes me aware that you want my vote, my third grade grammar workbook informs me that this is an imperative sentence. My problem with this is that I have a lot of excess teenage angst in my system and I don’t like being told what to do. Maybe you could rephrase it. For example, “Vote for (Insert Here), if you’re into that.” Alternatively, “Vote for (Insert Here). Don’t vote for (Insert Here). Do what you want. This is America.”

2. Door-to-Door Knocking I only open my door for two reasons: class and the promise of food. Your campaign is offering me neither of those things. Let me paint a picture for you. I’m in my room, vulnerable and nine times out of 10 watching cat videos on YouTube. Then, along you come and disturb the peace. I’ll open the door and listen to your spiel because I’m awkward and overly polite, but I won’t like it.

3. Paper products After you’ve interrupted my shut-in lifestyle with your presence, then you want to push all these fliers and pamphlets all up on me. Come on now. It’s 2014. Go green. Go social media. We’re millennials. If it’s not a gif, a blog post or a blog post with gifs in it, I’m not interested. Social media is your friend. I can throw your paper products in the recycling bin as soon as you leave. You know what I won’t throw away? My laptop.

4. Candy Let’s talk about your sales pitch. If I’m going to stand in my doorway and listen to you drone on about yourself without even asking about how my day went, I would like incentives. Incentives of the food variety. Candy. I’m not talking about lollipops either. Lollipops are weak. I’m talking about premium chocolates. Specifically, Godiva. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Alexis, we have a budget. Be reasonable.” NO EXCUSES. If you adopt the social media marketing strategy I mentioned earlier or even take it a step further and pull a Beyoncé: The Visual Album and tell no one you’re running, imagine all the money you’d have to allocate to chocolate.

5. Beyoncé Do not promise something that you can not deliver. I understand that you’re trying to keep your campaign fun by capitalizing on the fact the Beyoncé is American royalty, but no. Stop teasing me: A vote for you is not a vote for Beyoncé. Beyoncé regularly visits that great big White House down the road. She is serious. There is no making light about affiliations with Queen. If someone ever spotted her at Saxby’s, I’d without a doubt skip classes in hopes of casually running into her and becoming Blue Ivy’s nanny. You’re playing with my dreams, people. Not cool.

Thank you for reading this and I hope we can resolve these issues before election day. After all, I vote Wednesday.


Gifs:,; Photo:,

Six Degrees of Beyoncé: Dip Ball Edition

Beyonce DegressDear Hoyas, it has come to my attention that not everyone on the Hilltop feels the same way about Beyoncé as we do at 4E. Shocking, we know. Below you will find actual quotes from actual Hoyas, and for reasons of both privacy and street cred, their identities will remain concealed.

“I feel like everyone only likes Beyoncé because it’s the cool thing to do.”          – J. Hoya

“I’m a little Beyoncéd out.” – L. O’Donavon

      And worst of all, “I don’t get why Beyoncé’s considered such a big deal.”       – P. Healy

While we make no attempt to understand what it means to be “Beyoncéd out,” 4E is still a blog for Hoyas by Hoyas. Therefore, this week’s Six Degrees of Beyoncé is dedicated to all those out there who have yet to bask in the glow of the visual album, to the single ladies who have never put their hands up and to anyone who has yet to be Crazy and/or Drunk in Love. And maybe you’re right, J. Hoya. Perhaps liking Beyoncé is the trendy thing to do, but as she has said multiple times, she is one of the many girls who “run the world.” Maybe we’re all just trying to get in her good graces, seeing as she is connected to just about everyone in six degrees or less. Take this for example:

1. This spring, Georgetown students will have to the ultimate Friday night dilemma as GPB’s Kickoff Concert and the Diplomatic Ball are on the same night.

2. Egyptian Ambassador Mohamed M. Tawfik was in attendance at last year’s Dip Ball.

3. Ambassador Mohamed M. Tawfik was given his credentials toward the end of President Obama’s first term.

4. You know who’s a close friend of the Obama family?

Beyoncé Number: 4

 She’s kind of a big deal. That’s why we care.


I rest my case.

Photos:,; Gifs:

Flawless? Your Saturday Morning Story

beyoncc3a9-flawless-2We’ve all been there. After an aggressively long week of midterms, papers and presentations we were just a little too jazzed about the weekend. In truth, we were very jazzed. So we indulged a little (a lot!) in whatever it is that we do to bring in the weekend. It’s not our fault. We’re only human.

Since Beyoncé’s new song “***Flawless” has brought the phrase “I woke up like this” into recent prominence, 4E decided to juxtapose our various Friday aftermath narratives and Saturday morning predicaments to the tune of “***Flawless.” Watch the video below so you’ll be able to put a beat to your Saturday morning Leo’s brunch shame. How did you wake up this Saturday?

Where am I?

I woke up like this.

Uh… Pants, where you at?

I woke up like this.

Attack of the Bedhead: The Sequel

I woke up like this.

When did I fall asleep? Oh, wait. I didn’t.

I woke up like this.

Yep, still drunk.

I woke up like this.

Netflixed so hard that you forgot how to blink.

I woke up like this.

After a full eight hours of sleep.

I woke up like this.

The never fun: I just got GERMSed.

I woke up like this.

***Flawless? I think not, Hoyas.

Gifs: Tumblr; Photo:

The GUSA Video Takeover

GUSA Campaign VideoGUSA campaigns. They’re unavoidable. Strangers keep interrupting your “House of Cards” binge (rude!) to tell you about their candidates’ platform. Red Square is lined with gargantuan posters and now your Facebook timeline is incredibly confusing because all of your friends have campaign logos as their profile pics. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wives, but it doesn’t matter because these GUSA campaigns will find you.

As the loyal and hilarious “Top Site” in your web browser, 4E has decided to keep you informed about the GUSA campaigns that have been infiltrating your Georgetown existence for the past few days. But mostly we’re just interested in the same stuff you are, so here are this year’s GUSA campaign videos:

The Candidates

Zachary Singer (SFS ’15) & Dan Silkman (COL ’15)

The Video

As the unbiased writer of an article called “Six Degrees of Beyoncé,” I believe the song choice was ***Flawless. Zach and Dan had a lot of hip action going on. Like, a LOT. I respect this. They committed and brought out their inner divas. While I can tell that dancing isn’t necessarily their strong suit (again, lots of hip action), they’re not auditioning for “America’s Best Dance Crew” so A+++ for effort. The choreographed dance scenes had a very “We’re All in This Together” vibe to them, and I was about it. This video, combined with the pictures from their website, only further confirms my theory that this campaign is a publicity stunt for a new NBC sitcom called “A Political Bromance: The Zach and Dan Story.” I’d watch it.

The Candidates

Trevor Tezel (SFS ’15)  & Omika Jikaria (SFS ’15)

The Video

Staying in the realm of musical campaign ads, Trevor & Omika want to let us know that they’re “Happy” with a capital “H,” all while giving a nod to the massive hat Pharrell decided to wear to the Grammys. Their platform just makes Georgetown students all over the world want to get up and dance like nobody’s watching, even though the people in the background are totally watching. Their dance moves might just give Zach and Dan a run for their money (just look at their hip action). Instead of a debate or a town hall meeting, it appears a dance-off would be a better use of the public’s time.

Lastly, let’s just talk about “Tromika” for a minute. (Backstory: Trevor + Omika = Tromika). It’s very celebrity couple of them, and as an avid reader of People magazine I support this. First came Brangelina and their football team-sized, jet setting, multicultural family. Then the world plagued us with KimYe (Refer to Kanye West’s “Bound 2” music video for proof). What will Tromika bring us? The answer remains to be seen, but we’re sure it will be something “Happy.”

The Candidates

Thomas Lloyd (SFS ’15) & Jimmy Ramirez (COL ’15)

The Video

This video made me believe in love and honest communication. “I remember looking at you, and just seeing you sweat, and hit on every single girl in the program.” So honest and also weirdly endearing. Excellent song choice that reminds me of “The Parent Trap”? Check. Pun based on our outdated, early 2000s AOL designed, roommate-pairing/dating site? Check. Witty banter and phenomenal comedic timing? Check. Thomas and Jimmy have the group dynamic of two policemen in a buddy cop comedic movie a la “The Other Guys” and we can’t wait to see more videos from them!

The Candidates

Ben Weiss (COL ’15) & Sam Greco (COL ’15)

The Video

These guys won’t interrupt your “House of Cards” marathoning. They get it. Short and to the point. They’re no Frank Underwoods (thank goodness!), but they plan to get the job done. Also, in accordance with their video, they’re not unreasonably physically fit, so every Joe and Jane Hoya should feel free to challenge them to an act of physical fitness. Perhaps a dance-off? It’s almost as if this is a reoccurring theme or something.

Now it’s time to vote. Well, it’s time to vote on what’s important: the videos. Which was your favorite? We’d also like to suggest a dance-off. Just be forewarned candidates, 4E will also participate and we will be victorious.

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Six Degrees of Beyoncé: DePaul Edition

Beyonce DegressHello ***Flawless people of Georgetown! It is my distinct honor and privilege to introduce to you to your new favorite game: SIX DEGREES OF BEYONCÉ!

(Alternatively known as Six Degrees of Sasha Fierce, Six Degrees of Yoncé, Six Degrees of Mrs. Carter and so on and so forth.)

WHAT? You’ve never heard of Six Degrees of Beyoncé?

Don’t worry.  Here are the rules.

Much like its predecessors, Six Degrees of Separation and Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (click here for the backstory), the goal of Six Degrees of Beyoncé is to connect someone or something to Beyoncé with six degrees of separation or less. (You’re welcome.) Therefore, as our newest recurring post, we’ll be taking the latest Hoya headlines and relating them back to Queen Bey in six degrees or less of separation. Buckle up, because we’re about to begin:

1.  Georgetown recently dominated a game against DePaul University.

2.  A famous DePaul alumnus, Jim O’Rourke, is a famous musician who won a Grammy in 2004 for producing the best alternative album, Wilco’s A Ghost is Born.

3. You know who also took home a Grammy or two (actually five) at the 2004 Grammy Awards?

Beyoncé Number: 3

It’s just too easy. As always, keep heading to The Hoya to catch up on all the latest news and stories, and keep visiting 4E for all your Beyoncé dreams to come true. Until next time, Georgetown.