In honor of pre-registration opening up this week, here are a few classes that would be awesome to add to the Hilltop. Take note, John Q. Pierce!
Sociology: The Development of and Societal Influence of the Basic Betch
Description: Have you ever wondered about the development of this basic species? This course will teach you all you need to know about their pseudo-fascinating lifestyle and increasing influence on society. The course will include a mandatory field trip to Starbucks, the Ugg boot challenge (in which students will be given a pair of said shoes to wear for a week straight) and a final project on the art of dressing for Coachella.
Recommended course materials: Seasons one through five of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” “1989” by Taylor Swift, a one-month membership to Soul Cycle and white wine (because after this class, you’ll probably need it)
History: The Historical Outlook of Game of Thrones
Description: Are you an avid Game of Thrones enthusiast or, if you’re not, have you always wondered what all the hype is about? Through this course, you will not only have seen every episode of this fantastic series, but you will also learn the historical background of each kingdom. There will be no more confusion about the origin of the White Walker or the background of the Targaryens and their long rule of the seven kingdoms. By the end of this course, you will know the creed of the Night’s Watch by heart and every lineage of each family. Lastly, this course will teach you how actual historical events are integrated into the plotline of this world.
Recommended course materials: HBO subscription, sweats and snacks
Government: Inside the Mind of Frank Underwood
Description: Frank Underwood is one badass that no one wants to mess with. How is he so successful, classy and relentless all at the same time? This course will explore the motives and mind behind this political social climber. By the end of this course, you will be able to manipulate anyone into giving you what you want and screw over close people in your life without mercy. At the end of this course, there will be a mandatory field trip to Freddy’s BBQ joint.
Recommended course materials: a stone-cold fox of a spouse and a lack of morals
Chemistry: Mixology 101: The Art of the Cocktail
Description: Are you a senior freaking out about finding a higher paying job, but you realized you picked a major that provides no future career? Then this is a course for you. This course will teach you all the skill sets for becoming the best bartender — I mean, mixologist–out there. You will know how to make any and every drink known to man. Seniors only.
Recommended course materials: none, because let’s face it, you should probably start saving your money now
Marketing: How Chipotle Became So Popular: An Overview of a Successful Business Model
Description: Haven’t you ever wished that you could have been the genius to think of Chipotle? It’s fast, it’s amazing, it’s always filling and it’s really one of the very few satisfying meals one can get for under $10 in D.C. For all you entrepreneurs out there trying to come up with the next best thing, this is the course for you. This course will include several trips to Chipotle (all expenses paid) and an end-of-the-course phone interview with the chain’s founder himself, Steve Ells. You’ll learn everything to know about creating a financially sound business venture.
Recommended course materials: an empty stomach, burrito cravings and toilet paper — lots of toilet paper
Gifs: Tumblr; Photo: csmonitor.com